


Alex and Kara: A collection

by beaglesinbowties (Girlblunder)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-06 04:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 55
Words: 57,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5403833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girlblunder/pseuds/beaglesinbowties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Alex/Kara should-have-been-drabbles from tumblr. Not necessarily in the same universe. Some are the result of prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Kiss

* * *

The first time they kiss is in the dark.

Kara’s been living with them for a few years and has long since moved on to her own room. Sometimes, when the nightmares are at their worst, she still finds her way to Alex’s room.

“Kara?” Alex’s voice is groggy from sleep.

Low sniffles are her only reply, and Alex  _knows_.

“Come on,” she says as she pulls the covers up.

Kara slips in quietly, immediately snuggling up to Alex.

“Was it the one about your mom?” Alex asks.

Alex can feel Kara nodding against her shoulder, and her chest aches. Just once, she wishes she could take on this pain for Kara. Just  _once_ ; Kara has lost too much in her short life.

She dips her head to brush a soft kiss on Kara’s cheek–only it isn’t Kara’s cheek she feels.

Her face heats up in the dark, and she whispers out a soft “sorry.” Her heart is pounding, and she knows Kara can hear it.

Kara doesn’t say anything, instead snuggling deeper.

Alex begins to relax after a moment, and as she reaches up to wipe at Kara’s tear-streaked face, she can’t ignore how her lips still burn from the accidental kiss.

She focuses on comforting Kara instead.


	2. Second Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Supergirl, young Alex and Kara, winter holiday flufffffff."

* * *

Their second kiss isn’t an accident.

“Aw, come on Kara, you know you want to.” The boy - Kara isn’t sure what his name is - is crowding her in the hallway, and she wishes she’s anywhere but here.

She sighs to herself and counts, knowing she can’t afford to get physical with him. Last time she’d nearly cracked someone’s rib, and Alex had somehow taken the blame for her temper. She won’t let Alex get in trouble for her  _again_.

“No, actually, I  _really_  don’t want to.” She makes sure to glare at him as hard as she can (without accidentally frying him with laser vision, though it is a tempting thought).

He rolls his eyes as if he can’t believe how she insists on playing hard to get, but a moment later he doesn’t have a choice.

“Beat it or your girlfriend is going to hear about this,” Alex’s voice cuts in. She’s holding up her phone, and the boy swallows.

“She won’t believe you,” he says. His voice cracks though he tries to sound confident.

“Recordings don’t lie,” Alex replies smugly. 

He scowls and turns to leave, flipping Alex the bird over one shoulder.

Alex grins as he goes, her eyes bright when she turns to face Kara. “Come on,” the last word is drawn out comically. “Winter vacation means we don’t have to be in this place for weeks. Weeks!”

Kara grins back, Alex’s enthusiasm easily inspiring her own. She knows Alex actually enjoys learning, though isn’t overly fond of the school itself. They’ve both been looking forward to the long break since Thanksgiving ended.

“Well then, let’s go.” She slides her arm over Alex’s to link their arms together, cheerfully leading the way from the dwindling crowds of the school.

They don’t speak until they’re safely away in Alex’s car.

“Mom said that we’re on our own for dinner tonight. She said we could finish decorating the living room if we wanted - as long as we leave the star on the tree for her.” Alex is careful not to take her attention from the road as she speaks. Her mom had been quite clear about the rules when she’d received the car.

“Can we order pizza?” Kara asks in excitement.

Alex’s laughter is automatic. “Sure. What do you think?” She glances away from the road for only a split second. “You wanna decorate?”

“ _After_  we order the pizza,” Kara agrees.

“Oh, of course. I wouldn’t  _dream_  of prioritizing anything before your stomach,” Alex’s voice is full of dry amusement.

Kara reaches out to squeeze Alex’s thigh in happy acknowledgement, sure she’ll be grinning all night.

The drive goes quickly, and Alex orders the pizza as soon as they’re home. They decide to start decorating while they wait, and though Kara still isn’t used to the holiday after only a few years celebrating it, she enjoys the time spent with Alex.

She sneezes as she opens an older box, glad when nothing breaks. Alex has a scared look on her face, so Kara smiles sheepishly. “Everything’s fine.”

Alex nods and goes back to unloading her own box of ornaments. Kara looks curiously through the box, sure that these aren’t decorations she’s familiar with. A curious one catches her eye, and she holds it up.

“Alex?” She waits until the older girl is looking her way before continuing, “What’s this?”

Alex blinks and focuses on her hand, a small blush coming to her cheeks. “Oh, just plastic mistletoe.”

Kara’s eyes narrow at the forced nonchalance. “What’s it for?”

It’s quiet for a moment while Alex shifts restlessly on her feet. She clears her throat before speaking. “It’s a decoration. You hang it.”

Kara makes a face, knowing that Alex isn’t saying everything. She stares. Hard.

Finally, Alex throws her hands up in exasperation and rolls her eyes. “If you stand under it, you’re supposed to kiss someone. I think it has to do with luck or something, I never thought to look it up.”

“Oh,” Kara nods, though it doesn’t really make sense to her. They didn’t have any customs quite like it on Krypton.

The doorbell rings, and Alex darts away. Kara stays where she is, though her nose tells her it’s the delivery man with her pizza. When she hears Alex start walking back, Kara tosses the decoration back into its box.

“Pizza’s here!” Alex declares as she enters the room.

Kara makes a beeline for her, hands already reaching for the boxes. She leans in once she has them balanced carefully on her left hand.

“Kar–”

Alex is cut off before she can finish speaking, and Kara smiles into the kiss. The stunned look on Alex’s face makes her smile widen.

“That custom seems rather silly.”

Alex only stares at her as she walks away, bottom lip still glistening from the kiss.


	3. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:"Can you write a fic thats super angsty/hurt/comfort for Kara x Alex? Alex is hurt and Kara is fretting over her human sis."

* * *

Kara grimaced as she faced off against the hulking form they’d finally identified as some sort of H’San Natall hybrid. The building around them had taken a beating, but the brute wasn’t allowing himself to be lured away like Kara had hoped.

“ _Get him out of here!”_ Director Henshaw’s voice shouted over the comm. 

This hadn’t been the alien’s first attack on a public place, but Kara was determined for it to be the last. She dodged as he swung a chunk of concrete in her direction, checking on the DEO team with her super hearing as he tried to recover from losing his now crumbled weapon to the stone floor.

Alex and the rest of the group were evacuating civilians from the mall. There was too much damage to the building, and the alien escapee could make things worse at any moment.

She took a breath before making a quick judgement call. His red eyes widened in surprise as she lunged straight at him, her arms gripping him tightly around his enormous waist as she pushed mightily with her legs.

He struggled against her, arms hammering away at her shoulders. The blows were heavy, but she managed to maneuver them up and away. They made it to an abandoned stretch of the wharf, and Kara finally released him.

The large man roared, his rows of shark-like teeth dripping green saliva. The yellow spikes that protuded from the red-tinted skin of his head quivered, and Kara knew that as a sign of imminent attack.

This time, she was ready. She dodged the first punch and fired a flurry of her own into his torso. He made a choking sound somewhere between a laugh and a growl. She was close - too close, and he snagged her into a grim embrace.

The pressure around her torso was too much, and she gritted her teeth before headbutting him solidly in his large, protruding nose. He howled with pain, and then they were suddenly tumbling into the sea. 

Kara emerged a few moments later, chest heaving but a small smile on her face. The alien was beside her, his bulky body limp in his unconsciousness.

She tapped at her com, proud grin in place. “Got him Director, send a team to my location.”

“ _Had one on standby, you should see them momentarily. Once he’s secured, we need you back here Miss Danvers. The building is collapsing and there are still civilians inside.”_

Kara’s face became serious, and she was away the moment the H’san Natall was restrained. She was angry; with herself and with the alien that had been bent on destruction. It was clear that this was some kind of test set up by her aunt, but she wasn’t sure what the point of it was.

Her focus sharpened when she came upon the mall, immediately spotting a group stranded on the upper floor. She had them to safety a few minutes later, and was directed to more such groups by an increasingly upset Director Henshaw.

“ _Okay Kara, almost done. Alex is up with a group on the east si–”_

The east wing of the mall began to rumble ominously, and a moment later there was no east wing.

“Alex!” she screamed as she began scanning the rumble. There were pockets here and there, and she was able to rescue several people. Not everyone was lucky.

Her panic began to rise the longer she went without spotting Alex. Where was she?

“S-supergirl,” a voice whispered. It was Alex!

Kara zeroed in on where the sound had come from, frantically moving rubble while trying not to make the situation worse. After what seemed an eternity, she was close.

She paused, examining the best way to get at her foster sister. A closer look showed a broken arm and three cracked ribs - and a little girl crying softly under Alex’s protective body.

Around them, the rumbling began again. Time was running out. Alex’s breathing sounded off, and Kara worried that a lung had been punctured. It was hard to tell in her mounting panic.

She moved quickly, and nearly cried in relief when she brushed against the dust-covered fabric of Alex’s uniform.

“Hey,” Alex croaked out in a wheezing voice, “get her out of here.”

Alex hissed as she moved, and the little girl squirmed out from underneath her. Kara allowed the girl to climb up.

“You, too, Alex.”

“I–” Alex labored to breathe for a moment, “just get her out of here.”

Kara ignored her, instead instructing the little girl to climb onto her back and hold on tightly. She knew that moving Alex was dangerous, but the rubble around them was groaning and shifting, and another collapse could be imminent.

“Sorry,” she said as she carefully picked Alex up. She wanted to fly away as fast as she could, but she restrained herself to a moderate pace. The last thing she wanted was to make things worse for the person she cared about most.

Landing was a relief, Director Henshaw waiting in the wings with a team of medics. The little girl was whisked away, and Kara hovered as the team worked frantically on the sluggish Alex.

A limp hand extended past the small crowd, and Kara stepped forward automatically to accept it. She was unable to decipher the words the medics tossed back and forward as she looked down at her foster sister.

Alex tried to smile, but the poor attempt was nearly invisible behind the oxygen mask. Her lips moved, and Kara had to focus to understand the nearly unintelligible words.

“I love you too,” she croaked out.

“We need you to let her go,” a voice insisted to Kara’s right, and she knew he was right. 

Alex’s hand went limp in her own a moment before they lost contact.

“She’s stopped breathing!” the man from before shouted. There was more frantic movement, and Kara felt as if the world were crumbling around her.

“We need to get her out of here!”

“Which hospital are you taking her to?” she nearly shouted the question.

“National Memorial.”

“Get her in the ambulance, and I’ll get you all there fast.”

No one argued, and Kara could only repeat one thing over to herself as she hefted the large vehicle up in flight.

_She’s going to be okay. She’s going to be okay._

“She’s got to be okay,” she brokenly repeated to Director Henshaw some time later. Tissues were clenched tightly in her hands as she watched the surgeons work on Alex’s too-still form. It didn’t matter that they were several rooms away.

“They’re doing everything they can Supergirl,” he said gently, and Kara knew it was a reminder - a warning. She was showing too much attention to one person. Someone could figure things out.

Kara didn’t care. It was  _Alex_  they were working on, and nothing else mattered. She wiped angrily at the tears on her face, deciding to ignore the Director for the foreseeable future.

“Alex wouldn’t want you to compromise yourself for her,” he insisted carefully, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

A lump formed in Kara’s throat, and she tried to speak around it. Alex, who would rather have had her plane crash than have Kara exposed to the world and all of the evil in it. Alex, who had devoted her life to protecting Kara as much as she could.

Kara knew Henshaw was right.

Still, she didn’t move.

“She can yell at me about it later.” Her words were soft and hopeful.

Director Henshaw stared at her a moment before taking up a spot against the wall. They didn’t speak again.

—

Once Alex was stable, Director Henshaw was quick to have her transferred to a DEO facility. Kara couldn’t be sure, but she was certain it had been for her. Not that he particularly was attached to her, but he was attached to the good work she did as Supergirl - even if he would never admit it out loud.

If her identity was exposed, it could open up a can of worms that would make her impossible for the DEO to use.

Kara didn’t care. All that mattered was that she could stay by Alex’s side as long as she needed to. After nearly twelve hours, Alex was still unconscious. Kara was determined to be the first one to see the soft hazel eyes open.

Vasquez had been kind enough to bring her something to eat, though she’d only managed a few bites. She waited, sometimes relaying old stories from school to her unconscious foster sister, sometimes just quietly holding onto a terrifyingly limp hand.

She didn’t realize she’d dozed off until she felt it; a soft movement over her head. Her head tilted and the breath left her lungs.

“Hey,” Alex rasped out as her fingers brushed over long blonde locks.

Kara tried to smile, but instead she sobbed. She grabbed Alex’s hand and brought it to her chest, leaning down and kissing the back of it as tears streamed down her face.

“Hey,” Alex said again, and this time Kara allowed herself to be coaxed closer.

The hug was awkward over the rails of the hospital bed, but it was exactly what she needed.

“I’m okay.”

Kara inhaled softly, her nose brushing Alex’s short locks.

“You really scared me.” It wasn’t hard to admit, not when it was the truth.

“I’m okay,” Alex repeated.

Kara pulled back to stare down at her face, noting the deep lines around Alex’s eyes and mouth that belied her exhaustion. She swallowed her own fear. There was time. Alex had survived - this time.

“I love you, you know that?”

“Of course.”

Kara’s smile was bittersweet as she cupped Alex’s face. “Get some rest, you need it.”

“Well, a building  _did_  kinda fall on me,” Alex said drowsily, her eyes drooping shut.

As the light, natural snores sounded in the room, their hands remained entwined.


	4. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Kara x Alex - I never feel more human than when I'm with you."

* * *

She slams the door harder than she intends to - it doesn’t really take much with super strength - and sends Alex an apologetic look.

Alex’s face is a nearly comical mix of bemusement and concern. “You okay?”

“I’m…”  _fine_ , she wants to say. She doesn’t feel fine. The smile she tries to force won’t stick, and it’s clear Alex already knows something’s wrong.

She blows out a breath and sweeps her hands forward. “It’s times like these that I wish alcohol had some kind of effect on me.”

Now Alex’s brows are hiked high on her forehead. “I’m going to order some Chinese.  _You_  are going to sit your grumpy butt down and tell me what’s wrong.”

The smile comes naturally now, at least for a moment. She loves how much Alex just  _gets_  her.

“I couldn’t do this without you,” she says without thinking.

Alex looks at her curiously, but finishes putting in their order. Kara smiles again when she hears an adamant request for a triple serving of potstickers.

She hears Alex confirm the address and then a moment later feels a soft hand drag across her shoulders. The arm on the back of the couch is an open invitation as Alex settles next to her, one that Kara accepts as she cuddles in just a little closer.

“Now, spill.”

Kara blows out a breath from between her lips, her head dropping back to rest half on Alex’s arm.

“Winn said something to me a few days ago, and it just keeps popping up in my head.” Just talking about it gave her that same feeling; a twisted, sick flopping in her stomach.

She sighs and closes her eyes. Alex squeezes her shoulder in encouragement. “What did he say?”

Kara is torn. Nothing gets Alex riled up like someone attacking her - even if it’s just with words.

“It’s–I don’t know. He said some stuff about me not being normal. Like, I know I’m an alien but he’s never made me feel so…like I’m supposed to be better. That I  _have_  to be better. I  _am_  an alien, but I’m human too, you know? I just wish he got that!”

Her voice has risen as she’s gone on, coming out in a frustrated growl as she finishes.

“You’re not normal Kara, that’s true.”

Kara’s head lolls to the side wearing a softly wounded expression.

Alex’s free hand comes up to cup at her face briefly. She examines Kara carefully, a mysterious smile on her face. “You made sure of that when you revealed Supergirl to the world. You’re special; but you are  _human_  just like the rest of us messy Earthlings.”

She has Kara’s full attention now, and the blonde finds herself sitting up and staring intently into her foster sister’s face.

“And that’s  _okay_. Just because you put on the cape, that doesn’t mean that t you stop being Kara.”

The something awful that Kara’s felt for nearly a week now twists and churns until it’s gone. “I never feel more human than when I’m with you.”

She’s warm as she looks into Alex’s eyes, and part of her worries that her words will be misunderstood - until Alex leans in slowly and leans their foreheads together.

“Good,” she says in a near whisper.

Kara’s heart clenches almost painfully. Her eyes slide shut so she can absorb this feeling and store it away for later. Next time, this moment will carry her through. Alex has always been that for her, and she hopes that never changes.

“You better not eat all the potstickers.”

The moment is broken, but Kara laughs.  _This_  is Alex, too - and she loves Alex.


	5. Lecture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Kara x Alex: Kara gets injured?"

* * *

Kara hisses as the wound in her chest is carefully cleaned. It’s not deep, but it’s not altogether shallow either.

In front of her, Alex’s lips are pursed in displeasure. It’s clear to Kara that she’s only gathering her thoughts before beginning her lecture.

She waits, dreading the reprimand but also wishing Alex would just get it over with.

Alex’s jaw is working silently now, and then angry eyes meet her own.

“You know, if you  _insist_  on using your heat ray until it totally depletes you, the  _least_  you could do is make sure that all the bad guys are down first.”

“I didn’t have a choice, I needed to–”

Kara winces as Alex begins suturing the laceration. “You had a choice. Kara; I know you’re strong, but you’re  _smart_  too. You’ve got a habit of resorting to brute force when you get angry or frustrated, and while that works a lot of the time, one day it just might get you killed.”

“I–”

“I’ll kill you if you die on my watch.” Alex’s features are hard and unforgiving, and Kara feels duly chastised. She can’t stand it when Alex is mad at her.

“Okay,” she says lowly.

Alex glances up, and her face softens. She sighs and shakes her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Um, how about we have a movie night? Maybe order some pizza?” She puts on her best pleading expression, and she can see that final traces of upset fade from Alex’s demeanor.

Stiff hands are that much gentler as Alex tends to her cut, the tense set to Alex shoulders has eased, and the lines indicating her foster sister’s worry have faded. There’s a half-smile on Alex’s face now, and Kara’s heart leaps in her chest.

“Fine,” Alex concedes with a small sigh.

Kara is thrilled; all things considered she’s gotten off pretty lightly, and she’s eager to have a movie night with Alex.

Alex interrupts her pleasant thoughts as she’s trying to remember what movies she has saved to her DVR. “We’re putting in extra time in the training room while you’re at human-strength. Don’t think I didn’t see those sloppy moves out there today.”

“But–”

Alex leans in, her face scant inches from Kara’s. Her expression is stern. “Kara,” she warns ominously.

The warm breath that caresses Kara’s face is distracting. Her hands fiddle with her cape since she hasn’t put on her glasses yet. It’s hard to think with Alex staring at her, and so  _closely,_  so she just nods.

Alex nods in return, satisfied that her message has been received. “I’ll take it easy on you since I don’t want you tearing your stitches, but they’re in a good enough spot for you to at least learn the movements.”

A moment later her hand’s on Kara’s. The touch is warm and distracting, and it takes Kara a moment to realize what’s going on.

“Wait, you mean  _now_?” She’s pouting and she knows it, but she doesn’t care.

“Yes, now,” Alex confirms in an amused voice. A small smile is tugging at her lips.

Kara sighs, secretly delighting in the fact that her reticence keeps their hands together as Alex leads them through the DEO base.

“Fine, but you’re staying over tonight to give me a backrub. I’m going to be  _so_  sore.” The last part is said in a whine, but Alex’s smile remains in place.

“You big baby,” she says, but her eyes are twinkling and her hand is still in Kara’s. They arrive in the training room before Kara even realizes it.

“Yep, now let’s begin. The sooner we start, the sooner we finish. I’m looking forward to my pizza and that full body massage.” Kara bounces on the balls of her feet, content despite the intense training session she knows is about to come.

“Full body massage? I didn’t agree to that.” Alex’s eyebrows are arched high on her forehead, and Kara’s smile becomes mischievous.

A swing comes Kara’s way, and she ducks. “You really should read the fine print.”

Alex’s eyes narrow, and a second later Kara’s glad that the floor is padded in here. She also doesn’t mind that Alex is straddling her, but she pushes that thought aside.

“You really should take this seriously,” Alex counters.

The room is quiet as they look at each other. Kara’s smile is slow. “Oh, I am.”


	6. Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Alex/Kara, Kara- I would burn down the world to protect you Alex."

* * *

Alex grimaces as a large humanoid hand engulfs the top of her skull. She’s being held back against its grey stony body, one large arm securely across her torso. The sharp angles of its flesh that press into her make her glad that her gear provides some protection.

“One move and this human is nothing more than a stain.” The alien’s voice is nearly unintelligible, a guttural groan  that makes Alex think of immense rocks rubbing together.

She’s internally cursing herself for being taken hostage, but the creature caught her by surprise. Fear tickles down her spine, but she ignores the sensation.

Her heart is thudding in her chest when she realizes Kara is standing just across from them, a shocked look on her face.

The building just to the side of them is little more than rubble, and Alex is glad that it’s just an abandoned warehouse. She hadn’t been near the action, but as she’d been securing the perimeter the large entity had suddenly been thrown back through several walls and landed awkwardly next to her.

Hank is screaming at her through the comm, but there’s little she can do. The daggers strapped to her wrists will do no damage to this creature, and an explosive isn’t an option while she’s still trapped.

She winces as the alien presses harder, and air escapes her lungs forcefully. Stone bites through her uniform in some places, and she grits her teeth when she feels skin break against the sharper protrusions.

The step Kara had been about to take is halted mid stride, and a rumbling sound is shaking the creature. It takes Alex a moment to realize it’s  _laughing_.

His hand grips a little too tightly, and blood’s trickling down her face.

The creature, too amused by itself, doesn’t notice the change in Kara’s face. The fear and shock are gone, and Alex is suddenly afraid of what her foster sister might do.

Kara’s face is contorted in rage, and the only warning the alien has is the fluttering of the red cape as Kara moves.

Both hands are wrenched violently away from Alex, and she scrambles out and away from the embattled duo.

She grimaces as she moves, having landed awkwardly on her ankle. It’s twisted, but she manages to get far enough away to look back.

The massive creature is on its knees, Kara’s hands unflinchingly holding its arms to the sides as she screams and bears down on him with her heat vision.

The sight is terrifying, and Alex knows she needs to stop this before the alien is obliterated into nothing.  _Kara doesn’t kill._

“Kara,” she shouts, and her voice is rough and high, but it’s enough to stop Kara.

The “S” on Kara’s chest is heaving with each shaking breath, but instead of the relief Alex expects to see, there’s a hard, unforgiving look on her face.

The creature’s face is half gone, but it's still moving sluggishly. Kara punches it solidly in the remainder of its face, and she lets it slump to the ground as she turns to move to Alex.

Alex isn’t sure if it's still alive.

“Kara,” she repeats in a shaky voice.

The hard look on Kara’s face diminishes, replaced with tender worry.

“Are you alright?” she asks softly, one hand rising to cup at Alex’s jaw. There’s gentle pressure, and Alex tilts her head.

“Yeah,” Alex says as she tries to reconcile the rage she just witnessed with the sweet foster sister she’s known for nearly half of her life.

“Nothing looks broken,” Kara says absently. Her thumb is rubbing affectionately against Alex’s jaw, and the last of her disquiet fades.

“Don’t you think you went a little too far?” Alex is still worried as she catches a glimpse of the still unmoving alien behind them.

The flash of rage from earlier is back and gone before she can comment, but the determined look remains. 

Kara waits until their eyes meet before speaking.

“I would burn down the world to protect you, Alex.”

Alex swallows. She should be frightened at the searing look, but instead she’s oddly comforted. Her hand reaches up and covers Kara’s.

They hug a moment later, and they’re still hugging when the rest of the DEO recovery team eventually arrives.


	7. Seeing Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Alex somehow gets super powers, maybe something like what happened with Livewire, and Kara has to learn to deal with her going out in the midst of everything with her."

* * *

Sweat drips down Kara’s forehead as she forces herself to hold on. The building ways a ton - technically several hundred thousand tons - and the Kryptonian Astra had sent out to wreak havok is still on the loose.

She’s so frustrated she could scream, but she knows she needs to figure out some way to reinforce the weakened point in the building. A flash of green light streaks by and Kara has to hold her breath.

 _Alex_.

She wants to call out to Alex, tell her to take on the burden of the building so she can take care of the Kryptonian, but Alex doesn’t pause or hesitate in her pursuit of the fleeing man.

Kara grits her teeth, knowing that she has to get out from under this building  _now_. Though Alex is now a strong superhero in her own right, Kara can’t stop the overwhelming urge to protect her foster sister.

She shifts her attention around her, super vision scanning for the weakest spots deep in the metal frame. Heat vision seals a few cracks, and she tests the strength of the spot. It won’t hold for long, but it’ll do until she can find something to brace it.

A concrete pylon that has been ripped from the ground fits after a quick trim, and a moment later she’s flying. Her pulse is rapid as she pushes herself faster and further, zeroing in on the distant sound of Alex’s voice as her foster sister warns the Kryptonian he’s violating several galactic laws.

Kara arrives just in time to see him lunge for Alex, and her heart is in her throat - she’s too far!

But Alex is ready, and the Kryptonian is smacked aside by a giant hand. Alex’s jacket flutters in the wind as she pursues the fallen man, and Kara can just make out the tiny green lantern on the right lapel.

She’s still not used to it.

Alex is fierce when she lands, and she and the man are exchanging blows. The Kryptonian is stronger, but Alex is quicker and smarter.

As Kara lands, she suddenly feels weak.

“Kryptonite,” she says in wonder as Alex holds out a tiny shard to the now sickly looking Kryptonian.

He’s restrained by growing, glowing manacles, and Alex turns with a triumphant smile.

The smile drops when Alex sees her. “Kara.”

Alex’s hand moves automatically and the glowing shard is gone. The restraints around the Kryptonian become a full-body contraption, his face covered with the exception of his nose - presumably so he can breathe.

“Sorry,” Alex says as she approaches Kara. The Kryptonian floats silently behind her on an invisible tether. It looks eerie, like a floating verdant sarcophagus. “It’s the quickest, safest way.”

“Yeah,” Kara says. She’s able to stand, though her knees still feel a little wobbly. Alex strikes an impressive figure in her unique uniform not too dissimilar from her favored casual wear, and it’s only the mask and bright strips of glowing emerald that make it really stand out. The incandescent green ring on her finger shines in the afternoon sun.

There’s a distance between them now, and Kara wonders if Alex prefers it this way - prefers not needing her to step in any more.

The thought stings, and there’s a lump in Kara’s throat as Alex approaches.

“Are you okay?” Alex asks, and it’s just like when they’re kids again and Kara was having troubles adjusting. She closes her eyes when Alex cups her chin, and the unease fades. This comfort is an old one, and one she still relies on.

She looks into Alex’s eyes and they’re a strange shining green, but they’re soft and vulnerable. It’s then Kara remembers that Alex has always come to her for solace too. 

It dawns on her that now that this change is an opportunity; she and Alex can be true partners, true equals. Alex has always been powerful, now there’s just another way for her to show it to the world.

So Kara smiles and feels strong again. “Wanna gonna go flying together after we drop him off?”

“Sure, that sounds great.”

The quick acceptance makes her unreasonably happy, and she can’t wait to be high up in the atmosphere - so close to the unending blackness that it seems easy enough to reach right out and pluck a star from the sky. She  _loves_  that feeling, and now she can’t wait to share it with Alex.

“Race you back!” she says a moment before taking off, and her laughter is loud when she hears Alex shout in dismay behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sparked a lot of interesting chatter between me and my partner-in-crime/alpha reader/fellow writer crna_macka (chokingthecherry on tumblr).
> 
> At some point in the future this might become a multichapter fic since she and I came up with a rather detailed backstory on this - far too detailed for this little drabble. If anyone's curious, Cherry also did a rough sketch of Alex's costume on tumblr. :)


	8. The Kara Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Alex has always been amused by how oblivious Kara is, it's why she liked going to see her at work. Even if they weren't publicly together she enjoyed watching Winn and so many other's faces fall when she immediately stole all of Kara's attention. Even Cat Grant wasn't immune."
> 
> Altered to be more canon compliant; Alex doesn't really swing by Kara's work often, presumably to protect their identities.

* * *

Winn rubs at his face as he stares at his computer monitor. Everything is blurred and all he wants is sleep. 

Miss Grant has been pushing people to volunteer to stay late over the last few days to get a special edition of the magazine out, and of course he’d stayed when Kara had sent him a single pleading look.

He stills felt guilty about snapping at her, and he worries that he’s becoming more like his father. He stares at the figures on his desk, once again telling himself they’re not  _toys_. They don’t count.

Cat Grant steps out of her office, and the air of command around her warns him that he should be paying attention.

“Alright people. I must say that you’ve done a surprisingly passable job, and it looks like this print is a wrap.”

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, and Winn finds himself grinning like an idiot. Miss Grant glances at him and confirms the idea with a look, and his grin becomes a hesitant smile.

“As a reward for your voluntary efforts, I’m taking you all out to dinner to a nice restaurant.”

He’s shocked. It’s a nice gesture - one he would never accuse Cat Grant of publicly - but he’s too tired. He hears James agree, and a beat after that so does Kara.

James studies Miss Grant a moment before asking, “Can I invite my girlfriend?”

 _Shit_ , Winn thinks. He tries not to look, he really does, but a second later he’s looking at Kara. She looks crestfallen and sends a desperate look his way.

“I’ll come too,” he finds himself saying, and Kara brightens just slightly. 

His mind is sluggish, and he knows that his presence won’t do much for Kara. Guilt is still heavy in his chest, so he finds himself reaching for his phone. He still has the number she’d given him, he thinks.

*****

Alex’s face is pinched in concentration as she studies the genetic sample they’d recently recovered from a conspicuous crime scene. Her instincts are telling her it’s alien, and her lips curl up slightly when the sample confirms her suspicions.

Her phone vibrates rather suddenly in her pocket and she curses inwardly. It could be Kara though, so she leans back with a sigh to retrieve the device.

 _‘Kara’s in trouble,’_ the text reads. Winn’s name at the top verifies that this very well could be valid.

Immediately she’s standing as she taps out a quick response, already moving to grab her gear and alert Director Henshaw.

‘ _We’re supposed to go to dinner with Miss Grant, James, **and his girlfriend**.’_

Her heartbeat slows when she realizes this is an emergency of another nature, and she’s glad she hasn’t contacted Hank yet.

‘What can I do?’ she types back before removing the tactical vest she’d hastily pulled on.

‘ _Please come. I’m tired and I won’t do much good. We haven’t left work yet.’_

Alex gnaws at her lower lip. She can’t afford to spend too much time around Kara’s co-workers, especially Cat Grant. Their covers could be blown and then Supergirl’s identity would be splashed messily on every magazine and tabloid cover.

‘ _Please_.’ 

Her resolve wavers when she pictures Kara stuck not only with the happy couple, but her demanding boss. Alex's head shakes when she realizes that she’s already made up her mind.

‘On my way.’

*****

She has a speech prepared when she gets to the Catco building, but she finds it isn’t necessary. She arrives just as the group is exiting, and Winn sends her a very relieved look.

“Alex!” comes the ebullient declaration, and she only has a moment to smile before she’s engulfed in a firm hug. 

Even she’s surprised by Kara’s exuberance, but she enjoys the contact. Her eyes open as the hug ends, and she’s surprised to find the interaction has nearly everyone’s attention. She shrugs to herself and focuses on Kara.

“I got off of work early and thought I’d swing by and see if you wanted to have dinner, but I think I’ve caught you at a bad time?” The lie slips off her tongue easily, but saying the real reason she’s here isn’t an option with James and Lucy watching her.

Kara’s hand trails down her arm until their hands are tangled. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispers.

Before Alex can respond, Kara’s turned to face the rest of the group. “Miss Grant, is it alright if–”

Cat waves a hand at the air impatiently before she can finish. “Of course, Kira. Now, if  _everyone’s_ ready we can move along.”

Kara nods hurriedly, but she’s still smiling.

Alex finds it curious that though Cat Grant is dismissive, her eyes subtly track to Kara’s hand in hers. Her thumb rubs at the back of Kara’s hand and she notices Cat’s eyes narrow.

She tries not to smirk. The contact is fairly innocent, but she enjoys being able to throw Kara’s very demanding boss off kilter.

“You can ride with me,” Alex says to Kara. Kara responds by swinging their hands gaily, and Alex catches the flash of a scowl on Cat’s face.

“We’ll see you guys there.” Kara is so cheerful it’s hard for Alex to imagine that she was ever in a bad mood.

They make their way to the car and Kara is so happy at her timely visit that Alex can’t bear to tell her the real reason she dropped by. Kara tells her the restaurant and chatters away about her day while Alex drives.

Kara’s eyes sparkle when she talks about something she’s managed to pull off at work despite poor odds. It’s diverting and soothing all at once, and Alex admits to herself that maybe they need to do this more often. 

Alex isn’t surprised there’s valet parking at the restaurant, and she nods grudgingly when she walks in. It’s upscale, but not uppity. The atmosphere is polished, but comfortable. She finds she’s actually looking forward to dinner.

She casts a sideways look at Kara, making a mental note to order something she knows they’ll both enjoy. Kara will undoubtedly be sneaking food off of her plate at the earliest opportunity.

Winn is already seated at their table, and the rest of the group arrives as they settle down.

“Thanks for coming,” Winn whispers. He looks so tired that Alex almost feels bad for him, but he’s a grown up who makes his own decisions. Kara’s hand brushes her knee, pulling her attention away.

He makes his own decisions, but she understands why he can’t say no to Kara. Kara smiles at her, reinforcing the thought. When she faces Winn again he’s sulking, though she’s not sure why.

Cat Grant is commanding when the waiter comes, and it seems he’s used to her - or people like her. They order, and her lips twitch when Kara’s eyes light up at her own choice. Kara will  _definitely_ be stealing from her plate.

The group chats easily as they wait, and Alex admits that though Cat Grant is demanding, she’s intelligent. 

She notices when Kara sometimes catches herself looking at James a little too long, but the frown that appears on her face disappears every time she looks at Alex.

At one point Alex can’t stand it, so she slides a hand over to Kara’s lap to entwine their hands. She receives a grateful squeeze, and the frowns stop entirely.

By the time their food comes, Alex has noticed something rather intriguing. When she speaks, Kara ignores whomever she’s been talking to in order to engage with her. Though Alex knows she really shouldn’t, she gets a little thrill at the slightly crestfallen faces around her when it happens.

Even Lucy is affected, and Alex smiles to herself. Kara really has no idea the way she affects people, but Alex has always known that she’s special.

“Oh, did you want some, Miss Grant?” Kara asks when she’s caught taking a piece of chicken from Alex’s plate.

It takes everything in Alex for her not to react, because Kara’s so  _oblivious_. The slightly envious look wasn’t for the food.

“If I wanted some I would simply  _order_  it, Cara,” she says bitingly.

Kara’s face dims just slightly, and the chicken is put back on Alex’s plate.

Alex has to grit her teeth, and she smoothly returns the chicken to Kara’s plate. She leans over to whisper into Kara’s ear. “I ordered this for you anyway.”

Kara looks at her as if there’s no one else in the restaurant, and Alex forgets all about her anger. This night is for Kara, and screw everyone else.

They walk out of the restaurant some time later, and as they push through the glass doors Kara says what Alex is thinking.

“We really should do this more often.”

Alex reaches for her hand as they wait for the valet to bring her car around. “I couldn’t agree more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This pushed past drabble status, I believe.
> 
> Note that while I don't particularly love or even like Winn, Kara needs friends and I really hope he doesn't become a villain. Mostly because he knows about Alex and the DEO and I really don't want anything truly horrible to happen to my precious babies Alex or Kara.


	9. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:"Supergirl keeps getting in the way of Alex and Kara's time together."
> 
> Interesting prompt considering that most of Alex x Kara time involves Supergirl.

* * *

Alex smiles as the latest escapee is led away bound by special cuffs. Beside her Kara as Supergirl is smirking, arms crossed and partially covering the symbol on her chest.

“Well, now that that’s taken care of, I wanted to go over some–”

Kara winces and puts on an apologetic look. “Sorry, Alex, but I promised Miss Grant a brief interview to help deal with the fallout from the damage to city hall.”

The damage had been unavoidable as the alien had struck without warning, and Kara had been half across the city on an errand for work.

“Is it really wise for you to be talking with her so much as Supergirl?” Alex barely manages to withhold her frown, though the creases between her eyebrows give her way.

“Wise? I don’t know. I kind of don’t feel like I have much of a choice any more. You’ve seen how people get if I’m not around to defend myself.”

There wasn’t much Alex could say to that; it seemed certain people were only interested in becoming famous. Already they’d had to deal with bad press with edited videos that had made Supergirl seem more menace than hero.

Alex was of the suspicion that Maxwell Lord was somehow behind it, having witnessed his smear campaign against her foster sister first hand.

“Does it have to be _her_  though Kara? You work with her every day! It’s only a a matter of time until she puts two and two together.”

“Hey,” Kara says as her hands cup softly at Alex’s shoulders, “she’s really good at what she does, and she’s been consistently in my corner. I’ve got this.”

Kara’s blue eyes are steady, and Alex knows she has to trust her foster sister on this. It’s hard, but she doesn’t want to undermine Kara’s confidence. So she smiles. It’s apparent that it’s fake, but Kara accepts it for what it is.

The sight of Kara’s red cape fluttering as she first hovers and then flies away is somehow hypnotic. Alex’s shoulders slump as Kara becomes a little more than a speck in the distance.

The last several times they’d been on a mission, Kara has taken off immediately afterwards to handle various Supergirl duties. 

Alex has been quite busy with the DEO (and getting to know Hank) as well, and she’s beginning to sorely miss their post-mission “debriefings” with each other. 

As her mind wanders, her hand slides into her pocket to cup the tiny crystal she’s been holding onto for nearly a week. She’s worked with some friends in tech the last month to get it restored, and the brief moment she’s turned it on she knows what she’s found is priceless.

No matter what pulls Kara away again, Alex knows she’s waited long enough for the right moment. Kara needs this last part of her mother, and Alex intends to give it to her.

She sends Kara a text with a heavy sigh, determined to set up a time where neither of them will be pulled away. 

Hank calls out to her, and she knows it’s time to get back to work. She slips back into business mode with ease.


	10. Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Based on that headcanon were Kara taught Alex kryptonese and she loses her ability to speak English and Alex has to translate for her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t use actual Kryptonese within the text, so dialogue in italics represents this language.

* * *

Alex has to hold her breath as Kara, chest heaving, lands a powerful blow on the weakened Non. Pride swells in Alex’s chest, though she’s anxious to assist her foster sister.

Kara had smartly disabled Non’s protective armor, and even Alex had been surprised when she’d asked for Hank to take out some Kryptonite.

It had been clever and stupid all at once, and Alex is only glad that she’s made Kara practice in the kryptonite filtered training room so much.

Non isn’t moving, so Alex rushes forward. Kara is swaying, a drowsy look on her face. Blood is dripping from her nose, and it only takes Alex a moment to slide a shoulder under Kara’s arm.

“Supergirl? Are you alright?” She’s mindful that they’re still in the Lord Technologies building. There’s movement rushing around Alex and she sees Non restrained out of the corner of her eye.

Kara says something, and it takes a moment for Alex to realize that it’s not _English_. Her lips part in surprise. “Supergirl?”

Her foster sister repeats herself, and this time Alex is able to make it out - mostly. Kara’s speech is slurred. “ _What are you saying?”_

It’s _Kryptonese_ , and Alex hasn’t spoken it in years. Kara had enjoyed teaching her when they were teenagers, but Eliza had put an end to that after the third time catching them.

She’s translated texts since then, but never has she done more than mutter to herself. Her lips purse as she concentrates.

“ _I think there is something wrong - you are not speaking English. We need to go back to base and have you checked_.” 

The spot between Kara’s eyebrows is furrowed and Alex knows that she must have butchered _something_ , but after a few beats Kara nods slowly.

“ _This is a good idea. My head is spinning. I do not think I am able to fly.”_

Alex is relieved that they can still communicate, though worry gnaws at her gut. Kara might have a concussion or worse.

“ _Come on, I’ll drive.”_

_*****_

Kara has a concussion. Alex is still worried, but there was nothing on the CT scan to indicate it’s anything worse. She’s seen people act oddly with concussions, but having Kara revert back to Kryptonese is something new for her.

She sighs as they enter Kara’s apartment. “ _Steady_.”

There is no response, and Alex’s concern rises. “ _Kara, are you well?”_

_“I would like to change_ ,” Kara says instead of answering.

Alex watches her go silently, knowing deep in her gut that there _is_ something very wrong.

When Kara emerges she’s more comfortable in sweats and a scruffy t-shirt, and Alex goes into comfort mode. “ _I will call for some_ pizza.”

She doesn’t know a word for it in Krytponese, and Kara looks confused. She thinks quickly and goes to the stack of menus Kara keeps on one end of the coffee table. She holds the flyer up for Kara’s favorite place, and Alex is thrilled when her face lights up.

The call to place the order is over with quickly. Kara is on the couch with her knees up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs.Things have been crazy the last few days with Astra and everything, and Alex knows Kara is struggling.

It’s been torture knowing that she can’t help Kara with everything; the vivid memory of Kara’s meltdown when speaking with Alura’s program cannot be forgotten.

“ _Kara_ ,” she says as she takes a seat on the couch. Her instinct is to reach out to her foster sister, but Kara’s body language is sealed off. “ _No matter what it is, you know we can talk about it.”_

Kara stares resolutely ahead, though her face shifts so much that Alex can’t pinpoint any one emotion. After a few moment’s Kara’s head ducks down so her forehead is resting on her knees. Her shoulders begin to shake.

Alex’s chest aches. It feels like she can’t breathe in the face of Kara’s pain and confusion. She reaches out to tentatively to rub Kara’s back, worried that she’ll be rebuffed but willing to take the risk in the off chance that it can bring Kara comfort.

“ _It is too much_ ,” Kara says between sobs, and there is anger in her voice. 

“ _Tell me_ ,” Alex coaxes gently.

Kara’s head rises, but she won’t look directly at Alex. Her eyes and nose are a blotchy red, with damp tear tracks marking her cheeks.

“ _My mother, my aunt. I know something is not right, but I’m so tired of not being in control._ ” Her eyes blaze. “ _Even you would make all of my choices for me_.”

It _hurts_ , but it’s not entirely inaccurate. Alex swallows and lets her hand drop. She can’t look at Kara. “ _I am sorry. I just love you so much and I want to protect you. I_ …”

It’s become difficult to speak, but she’s said enough for now. This moment isn’t about her.

“ _I know_ ,” Kara admits softly.

There’s a pained relief that strikes through Alex when Kara takes her hand.

“ _I am so sad, and angry, and frustrated.”_ There’s a pause as Kara collects her thoughts. “ _Miss Grant believes she that she has figured out who I am. It is my fault for trying so hard to help her, but I look up to her so…It hurt very much when she forced my hand. I was not ready for her to try and trick me so.”_

Alex’s mind works as she tries to figure out what Kara means.

Oh. _Oh._  Cat Grant did something to try and reveal Kara’s identity? She wants specifics, but now is not the time. 

Alex’s instincts call out for her to hug Kara, call Hank, and dose Cat with something that will make her forget the last twenty-four hours. One can wait, the other would make Kara furious, and so she follows her very first instinct as she leans forward.

She’s relieved when Kara snuggles into the hug.

“ _We will handle this. I know that the last few days have been particularly difficult. I cannot imagine how you feel since my life has not been filled with the pain yours has, but you are **not** alone.”_

It’s quiet, but Kara squeezes her tighter. Alex feels the fabric over her shoulder dampen, but she doesn’t move.

“Thank you,” she hears after some time.

It’s only when she’s paying for the pizza that she realizes that Kara had spoken English.


	11. Dark Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Right after the red tornado/dr morro (sp?) fight, Kara comforting Alex after she shot him, "but Alex, you saved my life" sorta thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good prompt and if I’d gotten to it before I saw the latest episode I probably would have done more of what the prompter wanted, but I changed this a bit because…reasons. Post Episode 08.

* * *

_Superman doesn’t kill_.

It’s been on Alex’s mind a lot. The look on Kara’s face as she’d said it - she hadn’t been able to look her foster sister in the eye.

Superman doesn’t kill, but he _has_ killed. So has Alex.

Kara knows she’s killed.

The memory shouldn’t hurt, but it does.

Alex rubs at her eyes as she stares down at the digital screen she stopped really seeing some time ago. She’s been spending more time at the DEO, and less at home.

The few half-hearted invitations over to Kara’s have been rebuffed, and Kara hasn’t seemed to mind.

That hurts too, though Alex won’t admit it. They’re at odds with each other. It’s not something Alex is used to. 

Kara is still too mixed up about Astra - it hadn’t helped that Hank had been forced to take a kill shot on Non - and has rejected Alex’s every attempt at communication about it or any topic of importance that isn’t directly about work.

Her eyes are burning, and Alex realizes she’s forgotten to blink. She does so now, her vision blurring with the excess moisture that’s suddenly there. Around her the DEO is still active.

Alex knows her control is slipping, and this isn’t the place for such things. Alex prides herself on control. She manages to slip away with her mask in place, even managing a respectful nod in Vasquez’s direction.

The storage space is small and dark, but it’s perfect for what Alex needs.

There are vague outlines of lighter shadow, and Alex feels at ease. This has always been her place. Unseen is better. Unknown is better.

She’s understood for quite some time she’s never quite been what anyone has wanted, and that’s been okay. As long as she’s had Kara, no one else’s opinion has ever mattered. Her mom’s has _hurt_ , surely, but Kara has always been there to make it better.

There is no Kara this time.

She pants in the effort it takes to try and regain control, and it’s _hard_. It’s the look on Kara’s face the first time she wakes up in the DEO all over again, all the time. 

Their once unshakeable bond has cracked, so much so that she’s _terrified_  that soon they’ll be gaping chasms the likes of which the Grand Canyon would envy.

She and Kara are different, but Kara has never made her feel ashamed of that. Not until now.

Alex can’t handle it.

Her hands dig into the edge of a metal shelf as she grits her teeth in an effort not to cry.

She _hates_  crying. It doesn’t suit her, or her work. It’s a nuisance, and a biological reaction she’s never quite understood.

So what if Alex has killed before? This time had been different in many ways, but the same as all the rest. It had been her life or his, and she’d chosen her own. It was that simple, and that difficult. The alien lives she’s taken were worth no more or less than his, but she could still remember the look in his eyes as he’d gone down.

She’d met him, spoken with him under polite terms. If that didn’t bother her, so what? It had been just as easy to make that final decision as it had been all the other times. Her life or theirs.

How could Kara stand to be around her when the choice was always so easy?

The fact of the matter is that she can’t. Kara might be the alien, but Alex has always been _different_. Kara has finally seen what Eliza has always seen.

Her palms sting as her grip on the shelf tightens and the first few tears slip free.

“Kara,” she whispers brokenly. The metal of the shelf is cool against her forehead, and she wonders if it would hurt so badly if Kara would just _talk_  to her.

There’s quick footsteps outside, and Alex barely has a moment to turn away from the door before it’s opened. Light pours in briefly, and Alex tries to subtly wipe at her face as the new arrival fumbles with the light switch.

“Alex?” she hears a moment before there’s a warm hand on her shoulder, but Alex can’t move.

Her body is stiff and she’s frozen. Why did Kara have to be here _now_? She tries to wipe at her face again, and the hand on her shoulder tightens a little.

“Yeah?” Alex applauds herself with how normal she sounds. She’s had lots of practice pretending over the years, and she’s glad for it.

A moment later Kara has moved around her, and Alex realizes that Kara _didn’t_ fall for it.

Kara is in her Supergirl uniform. It makes Alex want to step back.

Away, she needs to be away.

“Alex, talk to me.” Kara’s other hand comes to occupy her free shoulder and Alex wonders if Kara can sense her urge to flee.

“Talk to you?” Alex releases a sharp laugh, but there’s no humor in it. There’s words stuck in her throat and she tries to swallow them, but her control is gone.

“You’re the one who won’t talk to _me_.”  Her voice breaks as she looks away, and the urge to feel intensifies. She takes a step back, but Kara isn’t letting go.

“Alex…”

The pause makes Alex skin itch and _god_ , does she want to leave. More words are bubbling up and she tries to keep them away. She’s good at not saying things to Kara. She’s always kept secrets from her, and she can handle a few more.

“I-is it because I killed him?”

She still hasn’t been able to look up, but she forces herself to. She needs the truth. It takes her a moment for her to gather herself. Kara is frowning, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Is it because I killed Morrow? The Hellgrammite?”

Understanding flickers on Kara’s face, followed by regret and a deep sadness. “Alex, _no_.”

Kara’s head ducks down, but she leaves her hands on Alex’s shoulders. Her blonde hair is a soft curtain that separates them, but Alex reaches up and brushes it back. She leaves her hand cupping at the patch of soft skin between Kara’s neck and shoulder.

She’s glad Kara is taller, even when the grip on her shoulders becomes too tight.

Alex is patient, and it pays off.

“Alex, you did what you had to do. I…I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to think things through clearly for a while now. Everything _hurts_  and makes me so angry and…and if you hug me and tell me everything will be alright I’ll believe you.”

Kara looks up finally and there’s a dismayed look on her face. “I can’t handle that, because it only works when you’re around, and you can’t be around all of the time. For so long I’ve just pushed and pushed so many things down and I feel like I’ll go crazy if I don’t let them out.”

For a moment Alex is lightheaded and her world tilts, but she understands.

“When I was talking about killing, I didn’t mean to make you - god, Alex. For so long you’ve been my hero in just about every way. I love you so much and I never meant to make you feel,” Kara’s voice tapers off, and the grip on Alex’s shoulders ease.

When their bodies come together in a hug, Alex finally feels like things just might be okay again. 

“I get it,” she says. There’s real relief in her voice, though she’s even more worried about what Kara might be feeling. “I know I can’t help you with everything, but,” Alex wishes she had some water because there’s still something stuck in her throat. She changes her mind. “You’re my sister, and I love you. I can respect that you need time, but _please_  don’t shut me out.”

Kara nods against her shoulder before nuzzling closer to her neck. Alex’s smile is tight but unseen as she does the same.


	12. Remember Winn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off an idea I had a few weeks ago while cooking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote and posted this on tumblr before episode 10 aired.
> 
> Technically this is all Kara & Lucy interaction, but I think you'll understand this is posted in this collection at the end. :)

* * *

Kara sighs and adjusts her glasses before typing out her notes for the day. She and Winn had just had another awkward run-in, though she’s not sure what’s made him act weird this time.

Someone approaches her desk, and she’s surprised to find Lucy with one hip cocked and resting against corner of her desk. There’s a thoughtful look on her face.

“Kara, we’re friends right?”

“Of course,” Kara blurts out immediately. Though not totally comfortable with CatCo’s newest employee - she’s still shaken about Miss Grant’s near guess of her identity - Lucy has already proven to be a nice addition.

Lucy smiles. “Feel free not to answer this, but what’s up with you and Winn? You know he’s got the biggest crush on you, right?”

Kara coughs into her fist, surprised and not altogether comfortable with the subject. “Well, I mean…I kind of thought he might but he hasn’t said anything, so,” her words trail off into awkward silence.

The smile playing around Lucy’s lips shifts into a smirk. Kara isn’t certain she likes this look.

“So, what are you going to do when he _does_  tell you? He seems like a nice enough guy.”

Kara is still uncomfortable. “Um, actually, I wanted to thank you for standing up to Miss Grant for me earlier.”

Lucy doesn’t miss a beat, and her eyes are warm. “Well, it _is_  my job to protect her from potential lawsuits. I’m actually pretty surprised she hasn’t been sued already after what I’ve seen this last week.”

They share a smile and Kara is relieved. She handles Winn’s feelings by ignoring them, and it’s worked so far. She likes things the way they are.

“Hey, I get that maybe you’re uncomfortable about the situation, and I won’t force you to talk about it. If you need to, I’m here.” Lucy’s face is calm and open, and the anxiety Kara thinks will return to her stomach just _doesn’t_. 

“Not here, okay?” Kara finds herself saying.

* * *

They decide to have a snack after work, and James only smiles when Lucy informs him it’s girls’ night.

Kara is halfway through a serving of stuffed potato skins before Lucy brings it up again.

“So,” Lucy says as she scoops up more spinach-artichoke dip with a corn chip, “spill.”

Kara finds that this moment is easier with food. Her stomach is hardly queasy. She smiles awkwardly while she chews and swallows. A sip from her drink gives her an extra moment of calm.

“I’m not worried about when he tells me. I know he’ll get over this crush.”

Lucy tilts her head and looks confused. “How do you know that?”

Kara bites her lip as she considers what she can say. “I don’t know how much you know about Winn, but he didn’t have an easy childhood. He doesn’t have a lot of friends, but when I first started at CatCo - and seriously thought about quitting - he was always really nice and helpful. He’s not perfect, but he and I are kinda similar in that we were both kind of orphaned.”

She pauses and nibbles at her lower lip, her cheeks flushing as she considers revealing the next part. She’s _never_  told anyone, but she feels like this might be a good time.

“I can kind of understand that he’s latched on to me. I did the same with someone important to me after losing my parents.”

She can’t say _everything_ , but it’s easy for Kara to picture her now. 

 _Alex_. 

Kara’s first few years on Earth had been very difficult, and Alex had always been her own personal hero. Her feelings had become complicated for the older girl she didn’t know how to label; Eliza’s insistence that Alex was her ‘sister’ took some getting used to, and it hadn’t felt right for some time.

They were close, definitely. More than best friends. After a while, she’d settled with sisters because there was no better word she could find for it. Their relationship wasn’t quite like what she’d seen between her mother and Astra, but she respected that relationships could be unique.

Despite all her new friendships, she still feels closer to Alex than anyone.

“Well _that’s_  an interesting look,” Lucy quips.

Kara flushes and shoves another stuffed potato skin into her mouth.

“He’ll get over it,” she affirms after swallowing her food.

Lucy raises an eyebrow and there’s an odd twinkle in her eyes. “If you say so.”


	13. Puppy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey I have another headcanon that Alex always wanted a puppy as a child but it would be "too much responsibility" so she wasn't allowed. But then Kara showed up and she was like hmmm close enough! Because Kara is an actual puppy!"
> 
> Okay, but picture Alex…

* * *

“Okay Mom; a puppy is too much responsibility but you want me to look after an actual _alien_? Okay, yeah I can see how _that’s_  fair.”

She _adores_ Kara, but that’s forgotten in the wake of her mother’s continued rejection of an altogether simple request.

Alex scowls at Eliza, but her mother’s face is impassive. Alex barely suppresses the urge to roll her eyes. She’s really not interested in another ten minute lecture about attitude.

Her mother’s lips twitch and Alex knows there might be a lecture coming anyway, so she hurries from the room - and has only taken a few steps up the stairs when she runs right into Kara.

“Oh,” she says in surprise. She reaches up to tuck some loose hair behind her ear when she considers that Kara might have overheard her.

She has nothing against Kara, but her mom’s hypocrisy never fails to annoy her.

Kara looks sad, lips curled downward and eyes welling with unshed tears.

Something shifts in Alex’s chest, and the last of her annoyance fades. Kara hasn’t said a word, but Alex can feel the nearly palpable _hurt_ she exudes. Her stomach roils uncomfortably when she considers she’s hurt this sweet new girl that’s now a part of her family.

She extends an arm and shifts so she’s offering Kara a side-hug. Kara cautiously moves her head to rest on her shoulder and Alex can’t subdue the urge to smile.

“I kinda love you way more than I ever could a puppy,” she admits with a blush as she stares at something on the wall, “just don’t tell Mom that. We could so handle a puppy.”

The nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach eases when Kara visibly brightens. “Okay.”

They begin walking up the stairs, hips gently bumping as Alex’s arm remains around Kara. Kara hasn’t gotten the hang of safely embracing others, but she soaks up all the physical affection Alex can offer.

“Alex,” Kara says as they reach the top of the stairs, “what’s a puppy?”

Alex freezes and her eyes widen as a _glorious_  idea comes to mind. “Kara, just _wait_  until you see one. Mom _can’t_ say no to you!”

Kara laughs, and Alex thinks that even if they don’t get a puppy things will be just fine. Kara’s beautiful when she laughs and forgets - just for the tiniest moment - the sadness of losing an entire world.

She makes her own silent vow to protect this emerging brightness. Alex has never seen anything quite like it, and already it’s something she treasures more than she can comprehend.

Her breath catches when she feels a light touch on her hand as Kara carefully entwines their fingers. This is the first physical affection she’s seen Kara offer anyone since Kara had nearly broken Jeremiah’s ribs on her first day in the Danvers househould, and Alex forgets everything else.

They share an excited smile, and then Alex is tugging lightly on their clasped hands. “Come on, I’ve got _so_  many pictures to show you.”


	14. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on requests from tumblr users for Alex x Kara + snow.

* * *

“You want coffee?” Alex calls out from her small kitchen. She can just see Kara’s head propped up against the back of the couch.

“Sure,” Kara says loudly enough so she can be heard from the living room.

Alex nods and stifles a yawn as she prepares two mugs of coffee; hers is black, Kara’s is drowning in milk and sugar.

Her bare feet are quiet against the wooden floor as she joins Kara. “Ugh, it seems colder today.”

Kara sits straighter and sets her coffee down, a confused look on her face. “Have you looked outside?”

“Kara,” Alex begins patiently, “I wasn’t even awake before you snuck in and put your cold hands against my very warm back.”

She makes a face at this, because _dammit_  Kara knows she hates that.

Kara’s response is to stick her tongue out. “I was cold. It’s snowing outside.”

Alex gulps at her coffee in surprise, glad that the scalding temperature has already cooled to just  _very hot_. “Snowing?”

She sets her own mug down and steps over to peek out one of her only windows. The blanket of white makes her smile, and a memory from childhood surfaces.

“You remember the first time you saw it snow here?” she asks absently as she stares out the powdery white substance slowly drifting down.

There’s movement behind her, and then Kara is standing next to her. Her shoulder dips a little when Kara’s head shifts down to rest against it.

“Yeah,” Kara says wistfully. “I’d seen it before, but that was with my mom when we were visiting other planets on official business. I hadn’t played in it before.”

Alex can picture a young Kara with flushed cheeks and bright eyes laughing after having surprised Alex with a large snowball to the face. The sight had been too pleasant for Alex to hold onto the spark of anger that the surprise attack had brought.

Her hand reaches out automatically to tangle her fingers together with Kara’s. “Hey, you wanna go out and play?”

Kara squints as she looks out of the window. “It’s cold,” she says in lieu of directly answering the question.

Alex snorts. “Like that ever stopped you when we were kids.”

“Well, I’m not a kid now.” 

Alex doesn’t have to peek to her right to know that Kara is pouting. She gently bounces her shoulder once to dislodge Kara’s head, turning to face Kara but still holding her hand.

“Aw, come on, Kara. It’ll be fun.”

For a moment Kara is taken back nearly ten years ago to when she’d had her first Earth snow - and how the powdery white substance had made her think of the way her mother had smiled at her on their diplomatic mission when she’d held a hand up in wonder and tried to catch the snowflakes on her hand. 

They’d melted too quickly for her to admire them at close range, but her mother had never chided her for the attempts even though they’d almost been late for the council meeting. Her chest aches with the memory.

Alex had pulled her through that melancholy without even trying, without even knowing what had caused it. These days Alex is so serious that the flickers of the young Alex she knew are coming fewer and further between.

“Okay,” Kara finds herself saying, “but I’m flying us somewhere where I know the snow is _clean_.”

Alex’s dark eyes seem lighter somehow, and the smile on her face is carefree. “That sounds good to me, just let me get dressed.”

An hour later National City is a mere spec, in the distance and they’re covered in snow. Kara has no regrets as she admires her handiwork; Alex seems more snow than flesh after Kara’s onslaught.

“Aren’t you glad we decided to do this?” Kara asks brightly.

Alex has to spit snow from her mouth before she can reply. “Oh, yeah.’

It’s the only warning Kara gets before Alex leaps at her, and it’s surprise enough that Kara lands on her back. Alex furiously scoops snow at her face.

Kara is laughing so hard that she thinks she swallowed the first handful.

Alex stops because she’s having trouble breathing from her own laughter and she’s made her point anyway.

It takes a few moments for Kara’s laughter to die down, but her face hurts from smiling up at Alex. Alex’s cheeks are red, but it’s her eyes that draw Kara’s attention.

White snowflakes are caught delicately on Alex’s eyelashes. Kara sighs, but she’s not sure why.

“Here,” Alex says after a moment as she stands and reaches out a hand to help Kara up.

Kara takes the hand even though she’s more than capable of just floating up and onto her own feet. It takes her a moment to realize that Alex’s hand is warm.

Her eyes jerk in surprise to stare down at Alex’s hand. “You were just throwing snowballs!”

Alex smiles mysterious and shrugs. Kara stares hard at her, and finally Alex lets her hand go with a sigh.

Kara watches as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small object. “I did a stint in Japan and realized these are _amazing_.”

She offers the object to Kara, who groans in surprise. “Oh, this is awesome.”

Kara had been a few moments away from using heat vision to warm her hands, but she decides this is much better.

She nibbles on her lower lip before slipping the device back into Alex’s pocket.

Alex frowns at her, but smiles when her hand is taken again and then they’re both gently cupping the small hand warmer.

“Wanna go home and have hot cocoa?” Alex asks as they begin walking through the secluded area sparsely populated with trees.

“Can we watch a movie too?” Kara asks.

“Sure,” Alex says.

Kara smiles because even though Alex has changed since they were kids, some things haven’t changed. Maybe she can talk Alex into building a blanket fort.


	15. Fuck Episode 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, in my world there’s a different ending to Episode 10.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as I'm concerned this is what really happened...because REALLY?!

* * *

Kara is distracted when she flies through the open patio doors to her apartment, but not so much that she doesn’t smell the pizza - or hear the shower going.

It hits her what day it is, and even though she still kind of feels like crap for what’s happened with Winn, she smiles.

It’s wobbly and her eyes still sting sometimes, but her shoulders slump in relief when she walks over to the master bedroom so she’s standing to one side of the en suite bath. Her back presses into the wall - accidentally catching glimpses of Alex in the shower is something she wants to avoid because Alex will tease her endlessly - as she stares at her mussed bed.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” she says loudly enough to hopefully be heard over the shower.

The sound of water pouring from the showerhead continues for a few more moments before it’s shut off.

“I was beginning to think you totally forgot about TV night,” Alex replies, her voice echoing oddly in the acoustics of the shower stall.

“I…kinda did,” Kara admits as she makes a face. Alex can’t see it, but Kara hears her chuckle.

“I got caught up flying around,” Kara continues.

The door to the bathroom opens and Alex walks out with a towel wrapped around her body. Her short hair hangs down in moist spikes.

“Did something happen?” Alex asks as she rifles around in one of the drawers that’s long been designated as hers.

Kara looks pointedly away when the towel drops and tries to ignore the heat in her cheeks. Alex had played in various sports in high school in college and has no qualms about public undressing, but Kara is still never prepared for when it happens.

She clears her throat as she studies the speckled paint on the wall. “Something happened with Winn.”

Alex snorts, and it’s a muffled sound. Kara glances back to see that Alex is dressed in jeans and a baggy sweatshirt Kara is fairly certain is _hers_.

“Did he ask you out? Try to kiss you?” Alex sounds amused.

“How did you know?” Kara is surprised because she _did not see this coming,_ so how did Alex?

“I’m a highly trained operative.” Alex is smirking. “Plus, I’m a human with _eyes_.”

“Ugh you should have seen his face.” Kara is guilty just thinking about it because, really, how did she not know how he felt?

“Eh,” Alex makes a face as she approaches Kara, “He’s a big boy. I’m pretty sure he knew you _didn’t_  feel the same way. This isn’t your problem, and if he’s a real friend he’ll get over it and still be there for you after.”

Alex face looks serious as she takes Kara’s hand. “You’re a great friend, and if he read more into that, that’s on him. Now, come on our pizza’s getting cold.”

A tentative smile is on Kara’s face. “Okay,” she pauses, “why are you wearing my favorite sweater?”

“A couple of reasons,” Alex admits as they sit down on the couch. “I feel like crap being the prominent one.”

Kara is staring at her patiently so she sighs and continues.

“I kinda forced Hank to use his powers, and he was…just so upset. He said he did something he swear he’d never do again and I–ugh.” 

Alex combs a hand through her still slightly damp hair before resting her elbow on the back of the couch and leaning her cheek against her hand.

“Did you get any intel from Max?” Kara asks as she reaches out for a slice of pizza.

Alex has to bite the inside of her cheek as she accepts a slice from Kara. “Yeah, but I had to eat slugs for it.”

Kara makes a face. “What?”

“He did this whole wine and dine thing,” there’s a sour taste in Alex’s mouth, “and when I was checking back in at the DEO, security found a camera and bug set on my purse.”

Kara’s pizza is flung down at the box and she looks furious. “He’s such a creep! I’m going to go–”

“Whoa, no.” Alex’s hand is firm and warm on Kara’s shoulder. “Hank has found a way to use this to our advantage. Max is being fed some very fake intel as we speak.”

Kara still looks ready to go and break a few of Max’s favorite toys, so Alex reaches down to take her hand again.

“Kara, please. Trust me.”

Kara sighs and slumps back against the couch, her head settling against Alex’s shoulder.

Alex smiles and kisses the top of her head. “Now let’s watch Game of Thrones.”

Ales reaches for the remote and hesitates before turning on the TV. “If anything else happens with Winn, you just let me know if I need to kick his ass.”

Kara laughs deeply and genuinely, and her eyes sparkle in the low light of the apartment. “I can handle Winn,” Alex gives her a pointed stare so she pauses, “but I’ll let you know.”

They’re quietly eating pizza and cuddled up together by the time the intro to the show begins playing.


	16. 4:30 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Episode 13 I woke up after crappy short sleep and this idea wouldn't leave me alone. 
> 
> There be angst here. Much angst.

Their faces are clear in her head. She knows their names from far too many nights Kara had spent crying. Alura. Zor-el.

They haunt Alex, much in the way Astra’s face does. Alex has killed more people than she’d like to count, but each has their own weight on her spirit. Astra’s feels heaviest.

Still, what lingers in her mind even more is Kara’s face. Shocked and distraught, trying so hard to seem okay when her world had been shattered all over again, only to lose her last direct connection to her parents scarcely an hour after waking from her perfect world.

It was Alex who had taken away all of them. Alex who’d hurt Kara without even really wanting to. She hadn’t wondered why she wasn’t part of Kara’s perfect world.

Had she been selfish in saving Kara? For the first time in a long time, Kara had finally gotten her most ardent wish. Kara would have died eventually, yes, but would Kara truly have minded?

Alex would like to think she would have, but Kara has often kept her deepest wishes secret.

Alex can’t help but think that this is something Kara won’t ever be able to forgive her for. Kara still doesn’t even know the truth of Astra’s death.

Alex's stomach heaves. She barely makes it to her bathroom in time. It’s dark in her tiny apartment, but she doesn’t bother turning any lights on. Her place is spartan in its decor, and Alex is used to navigating her way through the darkness.

As the last of what she’d had for dinner escapes - that lone bite of lo mein she’d forced past her lips under Kara’s eerily blank stare - Alex wonders if she’ll ever be able to expel this overwhelming sense of self-loathing.

The tile wall is cool against her back, seeping through the thin layer of her t-shirt.

Distantly she hears movement in her apartment. She scrambles to her feet and wipes at her mouth, body on high alert.

She relaxes after a moment, secretly wondering if this intruder might bring her some relief from her thoughts - in whatever way that might be.

“Alex,” she hears after a moment.

It’s Kara, her voice shaky and unsure.

“Kara,” Alex says. It comes out sounding more like a croak, but it’s enough.

The light is blinding to her, and she has to blink rapidly in an effort to adjust.

Kara looks horrible in a ratty t-shirt and jeans. Alex wonders if she’s been flying through the trees again, but she doesn’t ask.

The bags under Kara’s eyes are deep, and the look in her eyes shifts back and forth in a mix of delirium and anguish.

“You’ve seen them,” Kara says.

Alex swallows and nods hesitantly.

“You saw them,” Kara repeats, “they were real - even if they weren’t real.”

“Kara…” Alex voice trails off as she shakes her head. She wants to say more, try and offer _something_ , but she has nothing.

A memory sparks. No, she has something. It’s not much, but…

“Come with me,” Alex says as she brushes past Kara. She wants to reach out and hug Kara, but the acid of her guilt is churning deep in her gut.

She hurries to her living room and digs through a wooden chest she’d gotten at a garage sale. She breathes a sigh of relief when she sees them. A large sketchpad and a set of charcoals she’d intended to give Kara on her birthday.

Kara is lingering halfway through doorway to her bedroom, and Alex’s heart is thumping as she moves back to stand in front of Kara.

“Here,” she says gently, “draw them.”

Kara stares down at the proffered items, her chest heaving and her eyes wide.

 Kara has drawn much of her life on Krypton, has lovingly painted whimsical buildings and landscapes that have taken Alex’s breath away. Never, not once, has Kara been able to draw the faces of her family.

Alex knows that they’ve never been forgotten.

Kara’s hands tremble as she reaches out and accepts Alex’s offering. Alex is careful not to let their skin touch, but she wordlessly guides Kara to the couch, turning on all the remaining lights so that Kara won’t have to strain in the low light.

The first strokes are hesitant and uneven. The longer Alex stands there, the steadier Kara’s hands become. They move faster, and faster, and the first page is turned away.

Alex’s hands are clenched into fists. She wants to leave, but she feels like she owes further penance for all that she’s done. She weighs the value of Kara’s privacy versus her own punishment. 

She’s only taken a step towards her room when Kara stops her.

“Stay.”

Alex’s fists become tighter, and she can’t take it. She’s beginning to falter under the burden of her choices, and she buckles.

“Kara, I have to tell you something.”

She can hear the pause in Kara’s sketching. For a moment she wonders if staying quiet isn’t better for Kara - but then she thinks of how betrayed Kara had been after learning of her involvement with the DEO. This is much worse.

“After,” Kara says hoarsely, “but stay.”

Alex nods silently, not caring that Kara probably hasn’t looked up from her task. Alex moves until she’s sitting on the furthest cushion on the couch from Kara. She doesn’t look at the sketch pad, instead staring ahead.

It takes her a while to realize when the room is quiet again, and she holds her breath when Kara’s head is suddenly resting on her lap.

“Tell me,” Kara says softly.

Alex lips tremble, but she nods. They’ve had enough secrets between them.

“I’m so sorry, Kara,” she begins.


	17. Chicago

Alex winces at Kara’s grip on her arm. “Chill out will you? If you break my arm Mom is _so_  going to send us back home.”

Kara tries to look apologetic as she pats lightly at Alex’s elbow, but she’s too excited not to grin. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, you look sooo sorry,” Alex drawls in a deadpan voice. Kara shrugs and looks away, and Alex can only sigh.

“There’s so much I want to see! The Art Institute, Cloud Gate, the John Hancock Observatory - I can’t decide!” Kara’s head is darting around as they walk, oblivious to the crowds of the city around them.

“Slow down,” Alex says as the tries to pretend Kara’s enthusiasm isn’t affecting her, “we’ve only got a few hours of freedom before Mom’s going to want us back at the hotel. She wants to have dinner together before she has to give her speech, remember?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Kara’s face scrunches as she seriously considers something. She frowns after a moment.

Alex feels guilty that Kara’s mood has visibly dampened. She licks her lips and runs a hand through her hair. “You know, just because we’re here for Mom’s conference, it doesn’t mean we can’t come back some day. Pick the stuff you want to see most, and we’ll come again during the summer or something. Just us.”

“Are you sure? I know you said you were going to take courses year round. It’s okay, Alex. I just got excited for no reason.” Kara’s smile is tentative.

“Don’t worry, the courses don’t last _all_  summer. I’m serious.” Alex swallows. High school has been a breeze, but she knows Stanford is another matter entirely. As Kara’s blue eyes brighten immeasurably, she decides the extra stress is worth it.

Kara loves seeing new places, and Alex will take on another part time job to afford the trip if she has to - school be damned. She doesn’t need much sleep anyway.

“Okay! In that case, I want to see The Art Institute first!” Kara’s excitement is back as she rushes forward, dragging a faux reticent Alex along by the hand.

“Why am I not surprised?” Alex says to no one in particular as a smile tugs at her lips.

Kara changes directions abruptly. “Wait, okay. I smell something really good over here. Lunch first, and _then_  The Art Institute.”

Alex can only laugh as Kara leads them to a crowded food truck. This doesn’t surprise her either.


	18. Flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sentence prompt from tumblr: "She couldn't. They aren't teenagers anymore, and it would be silly for Alex to ask Kara to take her flying."

Alex has to stomp down on the jealousy that curls in her stomach as Kara giddily relays flying to her cousin’s Fortress of Solitude with James. It’s petty and stupid, but she still can’t stop herself from feeling it.

Flying together used to be _their_  thing - at least before she and Kara had decided that it was best to stop after the fourth time of almost getting caught by Eliza. The last time had been just before she’d gone off to college.

She’d never told Kara how much she missed it; it would seem selfish since Kara probably missed it even more. Things are different now, but they still haven’t flown together once.

Maybe if she’d reminded Kara before about how much she used to love that time when they would soar together and Alex felt like it was just them against the world - but, no.

She couldn’t. They aren’t teenagers anymore, and it would be silly for Alex to ask Kara to take her flying.

It’s obvious that Kara hasn’t missed sharing that with her, and Alex won’t push.

“–huge key that I’m pretty sure Clark should definitely reconsider since Fort Rozz crashed here, but oh _man_! It was so amazing inside. He’s done a decent job of recreating a little of Krypton here, and he’s got some cool stuff there.” Kara is nearly bouncing with excitement on the couch cushion next to Alex.

Alex forces a smile and leans her head on her hand, elbow braced against the back of the couch. “That sounds pretty cool.”

Kara’s smile falters just slightly as she stares at Alex. “It was.”

“Maybe I’ll call Clark and discuss the security thing with him,” Alex says quickly when the silence drags on.

“Alex,” Kara begins. There’s a loud knocking on the door before she can say more.

Alex hurries from the couch, grabbing her wallet along the way. “Food’s here,” she says unnecessarily as she makes her way to the door.

When she returns, Alex makes a point of distracting Kara with teasing threats of withholding pot stickers to avoid more conversation on their previous subject.

Her method works, and it isn’t until Kara is stuffing her face and mumbling incoherently around fried rice at the TV that Alex allows the sadness to overtake her for a few precious moments.

She adores Kara, but she can feel Kara slipping away further and further as the days pass. It’s been inevitable, but there’s still a bitter taste in the back of Alex’s throat as she acknowledges the truth.

Kara turns at the wrong moment and catches the expression on her face. She gulps down her mouthful of food in a hurry. “What’s wrong?”

Alex swallows and squints her eyes. “You ate all the pot stickers.”

“What? You so had one!” Kara replies indignantly.

“ _One_ ,” Alex emphasizes as she holds up a lone finger, “unlike your _four_.”

Kara sticks out her tongue and grins. The bitterness at the back of Alex’s throat fades. She might be losing Kara, but she hasn’t lost her yet. She’s going to enjoy every moment that she can.

“You’re lucky I love you,” Alex grumbles good-naturedly.

“I know,” Kara says in a soft voice.

Alex smiles, because Kara looks so serious - it helps some of the lingering unease in her stomach melt away. 

They focus on the TV again, and Alex sighs happily when she feels the weight of Kara’s head settle against her shoulder.


	19. Under the Influence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for Episode 16, which hasn't aired yet at the time of this posting. I haven't watched it, but this deals with something I've gleaned from other spoilers/teasers about the ep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: potential to trigger people who might have been drugged against their will or been forced to do something while under the influence of certain substances. Please read with caution.

Alex is quiet as she slips into Kara’s room. She’s brought Kara some food, and she hopes since she’s picked an out of the way place Kara doesn’t often get to that Kara will actually eat it.

“Kara,” she says softly as she gets closer to the bed. 

Kara is on her side and turned away, the covers high and held tightly around her body. She doesn’t respond.

Alex suppresses a sigh and sets the food and drink down on Kara’s nightstand. “Kara, please eat.”

She has trouble ignoring  the wadded up tissues scattered all over the bed and floor and what they signify. She doesn’t want to think about Kara crying the entire time she’s been at the DEO. Alex could kick herself. Kara had been insistent that she’d be fine alone.

She takes a seat just behind Kara’s back and reaches slowly out to rest a hand on Kara’s arm. “Talk to me? Please.”

“I remember everything,” Kara says in a hoarse voice, “every single thing. It’s like it’s me but it’s not me. I scream and shout, but I can’t control myself. I can’t stop _anything_  that happens.”

Alex’s stomach lurches as her mind flashes back to an incident in college. Her freshman roommate had gone with some friends to a frat party and hadn’t come back ‘til the morning. Alex can still remember how small she’d looked curled up not unlike Kara is.

Alex had never forgiven herself for turning down the invite. She would have known something was wrong, that someone had slipped something into her friend’s drink.

The situations here are different, but also not.

“It’s over now,” is all Alex can say. She knows it’s not enough, that Kara can’t and won’t just easily forget the time she’s spent under the influence of red Kryptonite, but Alex has to try _something_.

“I love you,” she says when Kara remains unresponsive. Her shoulders slump after a while when she realizes that she still hasn’t reached Kara.

She moves to stand, but then Kara is turning and sobbing into Alex’s lap.

Though it’s agony to see Kara so upset, Alex feels a glimmer of hope. This is the first time Kara’s turned to her for comfort since being restored to herself.

“We’ll get through this,” Alex whispers as she combs gentle fingers through Kara’s hair.

Kara responds by burying her face against Alex’s stomach and wrapping her arms tightly around Alex’s waist.

It’s a little too tight, but Alex doesn’t complain. She’ll bear as many bruises as it takes to get Kara smiling again.

“I love you too,” Kara mumbles some time later when she’s finally stopped crying.

She looks up at Alex and there’s a flicker of something in her eyes that makes the tiniest hint of a relieved smile curl Alex’s lips

Kara’s still upset, but for the first time in several days she looks the slightest bit hopeful.

Alex leans down and brushes a kiss across her forehead. “Come on, I got you your favorite inauthentic Philly Cheesesteak and fries.”

Kara sighs and looks away.

“Come on, at least one bite?” Alex gives her a pleading look.

Kara’s lips twitch before she heaves out a heavy sigh. “Fine.”

Alex tries not to grin when one bite turns into three and then more.

“Shut up,” Kara says around a full mouth of food.

Her eyes are shimmering with something that looks like _happy_.

Alex treasures the moment.


	20. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "I'd love to see something based on the time before Kara woke up post-red kyrptonite in the last episode. Alex with her injured arm getting Kara to the DEO and setting the medical stuff up and just generally feels bc her sister nearly killed her but she's still her sister and she's really worried she won't get the old Kara back."

Alex doesn’t leave Kara’s side for the entire trip back to the DEO, glaring at the driver when the SUV jostles over bumps. The throbbing pain of her arm is pushed to the back of her mind, though she certainly can’t forget it. It’s not her first broken bone, and she doubts it’ll be her last.

Her arm doesn’t matter.

Kara’s face is furrowed in her unconscious state, and Alex wonders if Maxwell’s cure is causing Kara _more_ harm. She’ll hunt him down and skin him alive if that’s the case.

It’s already a tempting prospect, given what he’s already done to Kara. He’d been lucky she cared more about restoring Kara than making him pay. She will - make him pay, that is. She isn’t sure how yet, but she will.

Kara’s head jerks to the side, and Alex’s heart pumps furiously. Kara looks like she’s having a nightmare. She awkwardly reaches out with her left hand to try and offer some sort of comfort, but stops herself.

There’s no way of knowing how Kara will react. The SUV hits another bump and Alex is forced to breathe through a flash of pain. Kara will no doubt be beating herself up enough for everything else that happened under the influence of the synthetic red kryptonite; Alex doesn’t want to add to that.

She breathes a sigh of relief when they finally reach the DEO, watching the agents that move to unload Kara like a hawk. They keep their heads ducked down respectfully as they carefully unload Kara’s stretcher from the vehicle.

It’s not until she’s in the infirmary with Kara that Alex allows someone to check her arm - as long as she can keep Kara in sight. The doctor wants an x-ray but Alex settles for a sling. It’ll do for now. Kara can’t wake up alone.

She’s left alone soon after that, and she takes a seat on a low chair only a few feet from Kara.

Alex tries to busy herself with thinking of all the ways she can torture Maxwell Lord while she waits for the sunbed to do its work. After a time, that doesn’t occupy her mind enough.

She tries to avoid thinking about certain topics, but that only brings them to the forefront of her mind. 

Kara was going to kill her. Kara doesn’t feel they’re really family. Kara thinks she’s pathetic, nothing without her.

Kara isn’t totally wrong, even if her brain had been altered by red kryptonite.

The memory of Kara’s disgust makes Alex feel like she’s swallowed a fistful of stones; they stick in her throat before traveling toward her stomach, weighing her down with the thought that even when she tries her best, she’ll never be good enough. Not for her mother, and certainly not for Kara. 

She wonders what it would have been like if she’d died today. Not at Kara’s hand, no - that would have upset Kara too much. Her lungs have difficulty pulling oxygen in for a few heartbeats.

The stones sink further, grow heavier.

She shakes her head. Wallowing will do no good. Even though she might not be good enough, she won’t stop trying. She needs to protect Kara because Kara is worth everything and more. She’s hope and light and goodness, and when she wakes up she’ll no doubt be hard on herself for doing things that are more like Alex and less like Kara.

In this way Alex can be of some use to Kara; though Kara is new to the feel of shadows on her skin, Alex has long thrived at their touch. She’ll be here to speak to Kara, tell her that though things might not be okay right now, they will be eventually. Kara is too good for the world not to see it.

Kara’s light is too strong to be dimmed forever.

Alex is startled to discover she’s on the verge of tears. She rapidly blinks them away. She won’t have Kara waking to such nonsense, even if Alex feels like she’s walking around with a gaping chest wound.

Movement makes her stiffen, and a moment later she’s hurrying to Kara’s side. All thoughts that have nothing to do with Kara’s well-being are pushed away.

It doesn’t take long for Kara’s eyes to flutter open.


	21. Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Psychology fact: holding hands with someone you love can alleviate physical pain as well as stress and fear."

Kara stares at her phone, the dark and still device mocking her with its inactivity. She shifts on her couch until she’s hugging her knees tightly to her chest, not taking her eyes off of the ever-silent cellphone.

It’s almost an hour past the time Alex would normally show up to catch up on shows with her. It should be clear that Alex isn’t coming, but Kara knows that Alex isn’t the type to cancel without a word - unless…

Kara swallows hard and focuses on her knees, covered by old cotton PJ bottoms in an effort to find a comfort she’s lost since her experience with red kryptonite.

Unless, maybe, Alex thinks that she doesn’t belong here anymore.

Despite Alex’s assurances, Kara has noticed that her sister has been oddly quiet the last several days. More than once Kara has wished that she has J’onn’s ability to read minds. 

Part of her has also been grateful she lacks the ability - because what would she do if she peeked into Alex’s mind and found that Kara had destroyed _everything_ they’d spent years building?

As it is, Kara’s been unable to leave her apartment. She can’t face her old life, not knowing how to handle the aftermath of her apparent fall from grace. She’s almost out of sick days, but she doesn’t care.

Alex has visited several times, but each time it’s been clear that she struggles to look Kara in the eye.

Kara hasn’t lost all hope, taking comfort in the fact that Alex _tries_ to seem like everything’s normal. They’d even shared a few hugs - hugs that had been awkward as Kara tried to avoid putting pressure against Alex’s cast.

She swallows and tries to focus on the TV. She’d turned it on half an hour ago to try and fill the silence of her apartment, but it’s not doing much to distract her. There’s some kind of talk show on that Kara struggles to feign an interest in.

A stern brunette woman begins to speak, her hands moving to emphasize her points. “…you know it’s a psychologically proven fact that holding hands with someone you love can alleviate physical pain as well as well as stress and fear. Why just the other day…”

Kara tunes out just as easily as she tuned in, her attention dropping to her hands. She thinks of all the times over the years Alex has been the first to reach out when she’s upset. It had terrified Kara when she was a teenager.

When she’s upset, much like anyone else, she has poor control over herself. Alex has never cared about that, has never cared that those small gestures that bring comfort could so easily end in pain.

Alex has always been the bravest, most selfless person she knows.

Kara had repaid that favor by breaking her arm, and probably would have killed her. She likes to think she wouldn’t have, that some small part of her would cry and scream and rage that she loves Alex…but she doesn’t know.

She doesn’t know what she’s capable of any more.

All she knows is that she’s hurt everyone she cares about. 

All she knows is she’s hurt the one person she loves most.

Something tickles at her face. She reaches up to try and scrub the feeling away with the palms of her hands. The feel of moisture startles her enough that she laughs. It’s a pained, choking sound that becomes a series of sobs.

“Shhh,” she hears a moment before she’s wrapped up in the warm familiarity of Alex.

Kara turns her face so she’s sobbing against Alex’s clavicle. Part of her recognizes that this must be incredibly awkward for Alex and her one good arm, and she tries to pull away.

“Shhh,” Alex repeats as she hugs Kara tighter. “I’m sorry I’m late. I was stuck filling out reports for Senator Crane. She wouldn’t let me leave until I finished, and I didn’t realize what time it was. I’m sorry.”

Kara’s hands clench in her lap. She’s too scared to wrap her arms around the much too fragile body before her. She pulls back and laughs again, the sound odd with her partially stuffed nose. “You don’t have to apologize.”

Alex’s mouth twists into a frown, and then she’s gently cupping Kara’s face. She doesn’t say anything, and Kara just revels in the contact, loving the feel of the softly callused fingertips against her cheek.

She thinks again about all the times Alex has comforted her, about how many times Alex has taken her hand without thought when she’s hurting. After a few moments, Alex’s hand falls away from her face.

Her eyes settle on the thin dark cast over Alex’s arm and wrist. Bile rises in the back of her throat.

The touch is light and tentative at first, a gentle tracing of a single digit against the hard line of her knuckles. Her lips part in surprise as she watches Alex’s hand gently gets her own to relax from their white-knuckled fists.

“That’s better,” Alex says in a tender voice as Kara opens her hand.

Alex doesn’t hesitate to tangle their fingers together.

This time when tears well in Kara’s eyes, they’re different.

She wants to say she’s sorry, but Alex has told her that the hundred times she’s already said that is more than enough. “I love you,” Kara says instead around the thickness in her throat.

Alex’s smile is shaky and slow, but Kara sees that for the first time in days Alex seems to actually believe her.

The tears turn to smiles and then chuckles, and Alex relaxes back into the couch.

“What do you want to watch first?” she asks.


	22. One Big Happy(er) Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Jay. 
> 
> Takes place soon after One Big Happy(ish) Family. Mild Sexual Content.

Alex sighs as she sinks back into the couch, her eyes sliding shut. She’d been chasing a rather annoying alien all day, and it’s great to be home. Her right eye peeks open when she registers movement in the room.

Calvin smiles at her, big and bright. Alex’s lips twitch in response.

“Hey Calvin, how was school?” She’s tired, but she manages to muster some enthusiasm into the question.

“It was entertaining. The teacher was upset with me for looking out the window for most of class, but I was able to solve the primitive equation she posed to me.” His formal facade breaks as he giggles. “I couldn’t tell whether she was upset or pleased. I don’t think she could, either.”

Alex squints at him. If she didn’t know he and Kara were cousins, she could swear there was a closer blood-bond between them. He snorts exactly the same way Kara does when she laughs at her own jokes.

“Well, don’t give her too much of a hard time, okay? She just wants you to learn.” While Alex is pleased he’s adjusting well, she doesn’t want the people around him to suffer.

Calvin gives her a serious look. “Of course not, Alex. Educators serve a higher purpose than most other fields of employ. On Krypton, our teachers were viewed with great esteem.”

Nostalgia sweeps over Alex; she’d had a similar conversation with Kara when they were kids. It’s been a treasure in more ways than one to have Calvin around.

Alex is about to comment when the door to the apartment opens.

“Honey, I’m home,” Kara sing-songs in a saccharine voice.

From her position on the couch, Alex makes a face. She turns to Kara with a frown. “Let’s both agree you’ll never do that again.”

“Sorry, I can’t make that kind of promise,” Kara counters with a grin. Really, how can she? Alex’s glower is so _cute_.

“Canned soup for dinner?” The words come out like a threat. Alex glares to emphasize her point.

Kara rounds the couch nonchalantly and flops down next to Alex. She rests her elbow on the couch back and leans her head against her open hand. “ _Or_  I could fly to a certain someone’s favorite place for Tajine.”

“You fight dirty.” Alex wavers, especially when Kara smiles that smile that always makes forget what they’re talking about.

“What’s Tajine?” Calvin asks with great curiosity.

Alex sighs. Like Kara, Calvin has developed a rather intimidating appetite. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Kara bounces in her seat twice, grinning at her victory. Alex glares harder when the urge to lean forward and kiss Kara becomes difficult to resist.

“I’m going to go look this up,” Calvin announces a moment before scurrying from the room.

“It’s a good thing his cover still has you biologically related. Anyone could see the family resemblance.” Alex is, of course, referring to the way they eat.

Kara chuckles and scoots closer, making Alex automatically shift so that Kara can rest her head on Alex’s shoulder.

Alex’s annoyance fades. She’s still adjusting to her new role in Kara’s life, and she’s been feeling a little more defensive than she knows she should be.

“What’s wrong?” Kara asks as she nuzzles closer to Alex’s neck and inhales.

Alex swallows. She doesn’t even realize she’s playing with the tips of Kara’s hair until she stops to try and figure out how to say what she needs to say.

“I…nothing, really.” She swallows again. “Just - are you sure about this? Are you sure this is what you want?” Alex doesn’t say it, but she thinks that if Kara were to suddenly change her mind, there’s no way Alex could survive the heartbreak.

“Alex, look at me,” Kara coaxes.

Alex braces herself and looks down. Her breath catches when she meets Kara’s eyes.

“I love you. Nothing will _ever_ change that.” Kara’s voice is both delicate and firm, and Alex is left wondering how Kara always manages to find that perfect line between both.

Their lips meet in a soft kiss, and Alex sighs into it. Yes, Kara is always the perfect mix of delicate and firm.

One kiss becomes another until Alex forgets everything but how wonderful it is when Kara’s fingers run through her hair, or the pleasure of feeling Kara shiver when Alex sucks on her lower lip.

There’s a gentle clearing of a throat. “I understand that you two care for each other a great deal, but I’m quite famished after my research.”

Alex pulls away abruptly, rubbing at her warm face and hoping she’s not as red as Kara is.

Kara coughs. “Um, yeah, well, I’m just going to,” she stops talking and makes a flying motion with her hand, and then she’s gone from the room.

Alex is left staring at anywhere but Calvin. The room is so quiet that Alex  _knows_  Calvin has no trouble hearing how panicked her heartbeat is.

There’s a shifting weight next to her on the couch, and then a small hand taps at her shoulder carefully. Alex braces herself as she turns to face him.

“So,” Calvin says seriously, “when are you two exchanging your vows of devotion?”

Alex chokes and makes a high pitched noise in her throat. “Why don’t we talk about puppies instead?”


	23. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU/Canon Divergent piece starting before the show does.

Kara sighs as she looks up at the sky. It’s a pleasantly clear night, but she’s not surprised. In National City such nights are hit or miss, but the skies are usually clear in Midvale.

She leans back so her head is resting against the cool wall, her fingers tracing the lines of the bricks absently. It had been a bad idea to come here tonight.

“Hey,” a soft voice calls out.

A moment later Alex turns the corner of the small storage shed, a relieved smile on her face. “I finally found you. What are you doing out here?”

Kara closes her eyes and lets out a breath. Inviting Alex along had been an equally bad decision. “I just needed a break.”

Alex doesn’t respond right away, instead walking over to lean against the wall next to Kara. She tucks her hands into the pockets of her dress pants and pretends to look at the sky. “What’s wrong?”

It’s a question Kara doesn’t know how to answer. The truth is, well, too much. She knows if she opens her mouth to reply, she’ll fumble her way around the answer and probably say more than she should.

She shrugs.

Alex grunts once and turns so that her shoulder is resting against the wall.

Kara can feel the weight of her gaze, but she tries to ignore it. “Stop that,” she finally blurts after a few minutes have passed. She huffs out an irritated breath and shoots Alex a displeased look.

The look wavers almost instantly. Alex is giving Kara a crooked smile, and her hazel eyes are as unerringly kind as always.

“They haven’t changed at all,” Kara finally says. It’s only part of what’s bothering her, but it’s the safest part.

Alex let’s out a breath and nods, glancing away for a few beats before focusing on Kara again. “It hasn’t been that long since we lived here, and this is a pretty small town.” She pauses and shrugs. “I mean, who has a high school reunion at five years?”

“Midvale does,” Kara grumbles as she crosses her arms over her chest, “and it’s nothing like the movies. I swear besides a few different hairstyles, everyone is the same.”

She doesn’t say it, but means to include Alex in that number. They’d had a rough patch during Alex’s senior year at college, but after that they’d been just like before - with the exception being that Alex lived in National City. Kara would never admit to her that one of the main reasons she’d taken the job at CatCo Worldwide Media was just so that she could be in the same city as Alex. As far as Alex knew, that was just a bonus.

“People can suck.” Alex knows what high school had been like for Kara, though she doesn’t really know how bad things had gotten for Kara’s senior year. It had been hellish without Alex around as a buffer and the only person who truly got her, but Kara had never told Alex that.

It’s something she also never plans to tell Alex about. She fidgets with her glasses as the silence lingers.

“Kara, you know you probably scare the shit out of them.”

Kara blinks and focuses back on Alex. “What do you mean?”

Alex tilts her head to rest against the brick, a small smile growing on her face as she looks at Kara. “Despite all their attempts to bully the light out of you, you beat every single one of them. Not only are you not stuck in this town, but you’re off in National City, working for one of the most powerful women in business. You think Ted is really that proud to be the shift manager at the grocery store?”

Kara doesn’t have to answer, because Alex is already shaking her head from side to side. “He’s not. You make them feel insecure.” Alex glances away. “They’re assholes who wish they could be as brave as you to go out and experience something other than this three-street town.”

Something swells in Kara’s chest; emotion that curls and tickles up her throat and threatens to come out in a flurry of words that she really can’t say to Alex. She looks away and takes a shaky breath. “Thanks.”

A hand reaches out to squeeze Kara’s bicep. “I’m just being honest,” Alex says in a low voice.

Kara nods and bites her lower lip, reaching up to tuck some loose hair behind her ear as she looks down.

“Now, are you going to come back inside? The music’s starting up.”

“Oh, no way,” Kara declares as she peers off to the right and away from Alex. She’d seen the band beginning to set up; they’d been the deciding factor in Kara deciding to duck out. The decorations and the band, they all served to remind Kara of a painful time when she’d wanted nothing more than to go to one of the stupid school dances and be lost in the embrace of the one person she loved most.

Alex grunts again. “Well, that just won’t do. Come on.”

It takes a moment for Kara to register the fact that Alex has straightened from the wall - and not only that, but she’s reaching out a hand to Kara in invitation.

Kara’s heart begins to pound erratically. “What? Here? Can you even hear the music?”

Alex shrugs and offers Kara a relaxed smile. “You can lead.”

“I, I, uh,” Kara stutters as she crosses an arm over her abdomen to clasp at her opposite wrist.

“Kara, you look too beautiful tonight not to dance, come on,” Alex insists in soft voice.

Despite her better judgement and the blood pounding in her ears, Kara can’t resist Alex - not in the moonlight, and especially not in the women’s suit tailored to fit Alex’s frame so well.

When she reaches out to take Alex’s hand it feels like she’s stuck in a dream. When they begin to sway together and she accidentally steps on Alex’s foot, the feeling remains even when Alex laughs. Kara is smitten all over again as Alex grins and doesn’t miss a beat, following Kara’s clumsy lead without a care in the world.

Time becomes an inconsequential thing as they dance, Kara humming along to the song as they move. Alex sings along lowly to the parts she knows, harmonizing easily with Kara’s own rich voice.

The song comes to a close but Kara can’t move. The moment is all that she’s hoped for and more, and it’s painful to consider it ending.

“Alex,” she begins in a quivering voice. She looks down and feels dizzy when she sees Alex staring intently at her lips.

“Sorry,” Alex whispers before she leans forward.

Kara wants to say there’s nothing to be sorry for, but she’s too busy meeting Alex halfway.

It’s the first time Kara has ever flown without leaving the ground.

When they pull apart Alex is giving her a worried look, but Kara is delirious with joy. “Can we dance some more?” she asks cautiously.

Alex takes a shaky breath, her eyes seeming to search Kara’s for something. She smiles after a moment. “Sure.”

They sway together long after the music stops, wrapped tightly around each other and sharing long-kept secrets under the starry sky.


	24. Laundry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asher601 on tumblr requested domestic fluff. This is...mostly fluff. :D

Kara hums as she walks around her bedroom, collecting laundry along the way. She’s not messy, just busy - something she tells herself frequently. A smile curls her lips. Alex had been the one to acclimate her to that phrase.

She snorts when she bends over to retrieve the shirt and pants Alex had discarded in her haste to shower and change from her work clothes.

“Why didn’t you go back to your apartment again?” Kara calls out as she adds the dark fabric to a similarly color separated pile.

“Your shower is bigger,” Alex mumbles knowing fully well that Kara can hear every word. “And so is your couch. And your TV.”

Kara chuckles and shakes her head, moving to collect Alex’s shirt again to turn it inside out. Something feels off as she pulls on the garment. She frowns and turns the fabric so she can clearly see the front.

Her face pales and then reddens, and she floats back up onto her feet to stomp out to the living room.

“Kara, you’re kinda blocking the TV,” Alex says with a sigh. She’s in a borrowed white v-neck shirt and loose gray yoga pants and curled up on her side on the couch.

Kara grits her teeth when Alex continues to try and peer around her. “Alex Danvers, do mind explaining what _these_  are?” She holds up the dark shirt directly in front of Alex’s face.

Alex blinks and squints at the shirt. “I’m not sure what you–”

“You told me you had _a boring day in the lab_!” Kara thrusts the shirt closer to Alex’s face. She’s so angry she could…

As suddenly as it’s rushed out, the rage is gone. She slumps to sit on the couch cushion near Alex’s waist. “Alex, these are bullet holes,” she says in a low voice.

She can feel Alex’s sigh brush over her leg, and it serves as a reminder that Alex is here and alive and not…the alternative.

“Kara, look at me.”

Kara swallows, embarrassed that there are tears stinging her eyes. Alex shifts on the couch, grunting as she turns. Fingertips brush softly against Kara’s jaw, and then she’s facing Alex.

Alex gives her a lopsided smile. “Okay, so it was a _mostly_  boring day at the lab. I had to do deal with a breach and there was some crossfire, but I had on regulation under-armor, okay?”

There’s a pause as Alex’s arm drops, and Kara automatically finds her hand to interlace with her own. 

Alex looks away. Her throat works. “So maybe I was reminded that even a stupid routine thing could put me down, and maybe all I wanted after that was to hang out with you a bit.”

Kara takes a shaky breath and looks down at their hands. “You wanna spend the night?”

“Are you gonna hog the covers again? I mean, it’s not like you can even actually _get_  hypothermia, and still…”

The ache in Kara’s chest eases. She chuckles at the very old argument and sends Alex an affectionate look. “You know I can’t make any promises.”

Alex’s hazel eyes seem to twinkle up at her. “I know.”

Kara thinks about how much she loves waking up to Alex snuggled into her side seeking warmth. “Scoot over.”

Alex huffs dramatically to put on a show, but she moves quickly and opens her arms. Kara smiles when she hears the nearly inaudible happy sigh Alex releases.

With Alex wrapped around her from behind, Kara is reminded of the years when Alex was the taller one. She’s glad that Alex has never grown tired of holding her; of all the things that bring her comfort, nothing else comes as close.

“I love you,” Alex says as her arms squeezes Kara minutely closer.

Again Kara smiles, her hand searching for Alex’s at her hip and tangling their fingers together. A wave of serenity rolls over her. She decides there’s no need to move for the foreseeable future.

“What are we watching?”

There’s a moment of silence. “I thought you were doing laundry?”

“Laundry can wait,” Kara murmurs. She rubs her thumb over the skin of Alex’s hand and ignores the images flickering on the screen.

The room is quiet except for the low sounds coming from the TV.

There’s a quick intake of breath and then a moment later Alex’s voice is shaking.

“Kara.” The word is low - Kara can’t decide if it’s a warning or something else entirely.

She sighs and brings Alex’s hand up for a kiss. “I love you. I can’t lose you.”

There’s a thick weight between them. As much as Kara needs Alex to promise she won’t ever leave, they both know that’s impossible. Even if Alex gave up the DEO and took on a more boring job, she could still be hit by a car or be victim to some other random act of fate.

“I understand that feeling,” Alex says in a bemused voice.

Kara chuckles and closes her eyes. She can feel Alex’s head move, and a moment later Alex’s warm precious breath is tickling against her neck. There’s a brief contact of softness to the juncture of where her neck meets shoulder, and then Alex’s head moves back to the pillow.

“So, how about a new show?” comes Alex’s carefully cheerful question.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Kara’s lips twitch into a smile. She loves moments like these.

Alex’s chuckle rumbles through their bodies. “I dunno, let’s see what we can find.”

“Perfect,” Kara replies as Alex raises the remote.


	25. Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: kalex - hurt/comfort like one of them getting hurt for something dumb/not life threatening like climbing a tree/falling off a ladder or something fluffy like one of them rambling about something they're passionate about while the other looks at them all heart eyes emoji :)
> 
> Mild Sexual Content.

“…then Vasquez had the nerve to question the results of the tests I ran. She should stick to the tech and leave the biology to me. The nitrogen levels _clearly_  indicated–Kara, wait!”

Kara, who’s been avidly listening to Alex describe the methods she’d used to identify a rare alien species, is suddenly pulled from the conversation when she missteps. _Crap_ , is all Kara can think before her ankle rolls and then her body is violently rushing to meet the rocky hillside.

“Are you alright?” Alex asks as she kneels next to Kara’s unmoving form.

Too many things are hurting at once, and Kara can only groan. “I hate Solar Flare days.”

Alex chuckles lightly in relief. Her hands are gentle as they help Kara turn over. “Tch, you’ve got a scrape on your cheek.”

Kara’s eyelashes flutter as Alex cups her cheek and brushes a gentle thumb over the scrape. “It’ll heal when I get my powers back,” she murmurs absently as she tries to decipher the exact color of Alex’s eyes. They always look a little different, but now they’re soft and warm and maybe a little more umber than green.

“Be more careful until then, okay? I don’t want you hurt.” Alex smiles and straightens, offering Kara both hands to assist her up.

“Oof.” Kara winces as she tries to set weight on her left foot.

Luckily, Alex is closer now, and she makes it to Kara’s side before Kara can take another tumble.

“Thanks,” Kara says with a lopsided smile. “I’m really not used to stuff like this.”

“I know,” Alex admits. She bites her lip and frowns down at Kara’s ankle, seeming to make a decision after a short time. “Maybe we should head back,” she says as she pulls Kara’s arm over her shoulder.

“Hm? What, why?” Kara’s too focused on how nice it feels to be so close - especially now, knowing that she won’t accidentally hurt Alex if she grips Alex just a little too tightly.

Alex sighs, her right hand tickling at Kara’s right hip. “Maybe it was a stupid idea to head out here for a picnic. I just thought it would be nice - and safe - to get some time away from the city.”

Kara is glad that Alex had talked her way into carrying the backpack. At least their picnic isn’t ruined by her spill. “No, it’s a great idea, Alex. Please, it’s so pretty out here. Can’t we just find a spot and relax? It’s probably better for my ankle.”

“Rest is important, and I think I’ve got an extra ice pack in the cooler with the drinks. Okay, let’s just round the bottom of this hill and sit in the sun a bit.” Alex looks so serious that again Kara can only smile.

Her eyes close when she’s finally sitting, bringing her weight to rest on her hands as she leans backwards. The sun is warm on her face, and Alex’s hands are gentle as they inspect her ankle.

“Just a little sprain,” Alex says with some relief. “We’ll take it easy on the way back.”

“Sounds good to me. Hey, come here for a  bit, will you?” Kara bites her lip as she sends a hopeful look Alex’s way.

It takes Alex only half a second to nod her head and release a (beleaguered) sigh. “Fine.”

Alex’s pseudo protests are a distant memory when they’re both flat on their backs and staring up into the crisp clear blue of the sky. Wispy clouds float distantly on the horizon, and Kara is thrilled when Alex interlaces their fingers.

“I never told you,” Alex says.

“Told me what?” Kara turns curiously to face Alex, the fingertips of her free hand tingling when she sees the short strands hanging over Alex’s cheek begging to be pushed back.

“Thanks for saving my life.” Alex’s voice is soft; she carefully watches Kara’s face for a reaction.

“You’ve saved me plenty of times,” Kara counters, “and saving you was kind of a selfish thing. I love you and I never want to lose you - you know?”

“Yeah,” Alex agrees. “I know exactly what you mean.”

Kara’s breath catches because Alex is giving her _that_  look, the one that’s only for her. Kara’s heart pounds and she tugs gently on Alex’s hand.

“I don’t know, Kara,” Alex says with a worried look as she half-rises to rest her weight on her elbow.

“I do,” Kara retorts a moment before she’s simultaneously leaning up and pulling Alex down.

“What about the picnic?” Alex sounds winded and distracted, and Kara is far too swept away by how enticing her glistening bottom lip is.

“Later,” Kara murmurs as her eyes slide closed and she finally feels the perfect symmetry of Alex’s lips against her own.


	26. The Doppelganger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> neonbluebag requested a celebrity!Kara AU for Alex/Kara, with Alex being a fan from afar.
> 
> Well, with my own twist I went with that basic idea.

The first time Alex sees her on the train, she thinks maybe she’s been putting in too many hours at the lab. Surely, the resemblance of the woman in ripped jeans and a comfortable pullover is purely coincidental to the actress that - and Alex won’t admit it out loud even on a good day - she might actually have a little bit of a crush on.

The blonde hair only partially hidden by a worn Superman ball cap is straight and roughly the same shade Alex can last remember seeing in the fantasy blockbuster movie that had finally gotten Kara Zorel noticed. Alex had been a fan since an ex-girlfriend had dragged her to some indie festival and she’d been entranced by Kara’s portrayal of a young woman struggling with bulimia after years of participating in beauty pageants.

That’s another thing Alex won’t say out loud, though it is certainly true that she’s been a fan of Kara Zorel’s for quite some time. She shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot and avoids looking in the direction of the doppelganger again.

*

The second time Alex sees the not-Kara on the train, Alex is admittedly tired and definitely on the verge of delirious. There’s deadlines looming and her research funding is at risk of being pulled if she doesn’t have thorough evidence to present. The results have been promising so far, but she wants to be _sure_  before the investors drop by to consider additional funding.

The only thing that saves Alex from appearing to stare is that when she’s slumped against the side of her seat, her short hair falls perfectly to hide her curious looks.

*

Alex doesn’t see the doppelganger again for a while, and she’s not sure if that’s because she’s finally well rested again or perhaps she’d ended up creeping out the mysterious woman after all.

Days pass in a sense of monotony - especially on the train where the rhythmic sound and feel of its passage leave the people on board wondering and hoping their stop is sooner than they remember.

“Excuse me,” Alex says on one such boring day. She usually doesn’t bother with niceties on the platforms, but some habits die hard.

She frowns when her comment does little to make room for her to pass. The formula she’s been working out in her head is forgotten as she glares at the people blocking her way.

Her pointy elbows come in handy where niceties have failed, and she maneuvers through some of the crowd only to find the bottleneck is caused by not-Kara looking uncomfortable surrounded by a tight half circle of teenagers. The wall behind her prevents any easy escape.

“You’re her, aren’t you?” a petite brunette asks excitedly.

Not-Kara grips the strap of her backpack tighter. “Sorry?”

“Oh, come on,” a tall boy with scraggly facial hair says, “we _know_  you’re her!”

Though Alex firmly believes that celebrities should get used to a certain lack of anonymity, it’s also clear to her that there’s a time and a place for approaching such celebrities. Famous or not, everyone should have the option to peacefully go about their day.

It’s such thoughts that have her stepping forward and speaking when she normally might not - it’s not that she hates confrontation, but rather she hates wasting energy needlessly. She blames her apathy on too many years spent living in National City.

“Melissa!” Alex calls out as she elbows her way past the scraggly-faced boy. “What are you still doing here? You know Uncle John will kill us if we’re late again!”

Not-Kara blinks at her in surprise.

 _Come on, you’re an actress aren’t you?_  Alex widens her eyes and nods to help the idea along.

“Please tell me he didn’t bring up last Christmas,” Not-Kara says with a pained look.

It takes considerable willpower for Alex not to smile. “He did,” she deadpans, “and then he started going on about his poor heart.”

“Of course he did,” Not-Kara says with a put-upon sigh.

Alex nods along, and then turns to blink at the confused looking teenagers. “Were these kids trying to mug you or something?”

The petite brunette that had seemed so excited before blushes, and she begins tugging at her friends’ arms. “No, sorry. There was just some confusion. Have a nice day!”

The group hurriedly flees, and then Alex and Not-Kara are nearly swept away in the suddenly rushing crowd again.

Not-Kara gives her a smile and then is lost in the crowd.

Alex mourns the missed opportunity to at least learn the doppelganger’s name, but she shrugs after a moment and grins. The monotony of her day is broken, and Not-Kara had smiled at her for the first time. If Alex didn’t know any better, she’d say the even and captivating smile had _certainly_ belonged to Kara Zorel.

*

Alex is frowning down at her notebook some days later, trying to decipher her own scribbles when a voice interrupts her.

“Excuse me?”

The words have to be repeated for Alex to realize that she’s being addressed. 

“Ye–es?” The simple word is unnaturally drawn out when she glances up and sees that it’s Kara’s doppelganger standing so close and looking down at her.

“I hate to interrupt you, but I just wanted to thank you for the other day.” Not-Kara is wearing the worn ball cap again and when she tilts her head, Alex thinks that this woman’s eyes are far bluer than Kara Zorel’s are.

Alex moistens her lips when she realizes that she’s supposed to say something. “It’s no problem. People in this city can be a nuisance.”

“They’re not all bad,” Not-Kara replies, “but sometimes…”

The wince makes Alex chuckle because she gets it. “I have a love/hate relationship with the city myself.”

Not-Kara’s lips curl up in a slight smile, and Alex thinks that maybe _this_  one is her favorite. It’s secretive and promising, and Alex’s heart is pumping embarrassingly fast in her chest at the sight of it.

“So I was thinking, to show you how much I appreciate your kindness, I would offer to buy you a sticky bun.” Not-Kara leans against the shiny metal pole to her left as she waits for Alex’s response.

“A sticky bun?” Alex gives her a surprised look.

Not-Kara laughs, making her nose scrunch up adorably. “I promise you, I know the best place in the entire city to get them.”

“When you put it like that, how could I possibly say no? Fair warning, I will be _greatly_  disappointed if they are, in fact, _not_  the best sticky buns in the entire city.” Alex’s face hurts from smiling, but she really can’t help the effect this woman is having on her.

“You’ll love them,” Not-Kara says after more laughter.

“Confidence, good. You’ll be needing that.” Alex pauses, entranced by the delight on Not-Kara’s face. “By the way, I’m Alex.”

She reaches out a hand politely, pleased when it’s immediately accepted.

“Nice to meet you, Alex. I’m Kara.”

Alex freezes and stares at Not Not-Kara with wide eyes. “What?”


	27. The Doppelganger 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second selection for August fluffy ficlet day (chosen by people on tumblr) was Alex/Kara. I elected to continue "The Doppelganger". I hope you enjoy it. :)

* * *

Alex Danvers is a simple person grounded in the logic of science and reality. She’s never been much prone to flights of fancy, though her mind excels in her chosen field. It’s not that she’s totally without imagination, she just chooses to use it in a way that will help advance her research.

Her modus operandi leaves her ill prepared to face the fact that she, Alex Danvers, has found herself in a situation straight out of fiction.

It’s not the small table tucked away in the corner of the restaurant she’s never been to before or the gently steaming sticky bun waiting neatly in front of her that’s particularly out of the ordinary, no. Instead, it’s the woman seated across from Alex that makes the moment extraordinary.

“You’re not going to try it?” Kara says around her own mouthful of sticky bun.

Perhaps Alex shouldn’t be surprised at how normal Kara Zorel is, gleefully munching on what is undoubtedly one of her favorite treats. Alex understands that Kara Zorel is a human just as she is, and is composed of generally the same elements - though perhaps in very slightly different proportions.

Still, she’d never imagined sitting across from her lone celebrity crush. In person. Intentionally. Upon that celebrity crush’s personal invitation.

“Sorry, I kind of spaced out there for a minute. It looks delicious.” Alex picks up her fork and knife. The sticky bun does look delicious, it’s just really unfortunate that her stomach is knotted with anxiety.

She cuts methodically into the treat, the warm sweet scent hitting her nose before the tidbit reaches her mouth. It’s buttery and sweet, and Alex really _does_ like it. “It’s good,” she admits as she chews.

Kara’s smile is large and potent, and Alex tries to slow her heart by analyzing the neuropeptides that facilitate her return smile. The mix of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins help her relax. Kara really is quite good at what she does with such an effective smile.

When Kara reaches up to push her loose hair back behind her ear, Alex forgets her analysis and sits in silent awe of how attractive Kara is, just like this. Alex doesn’t mean up close and personal, though there’s that too, but rather relaxed and mostly without makeup in the ragged jeans and loose t-shirts Alex has seen her in numerous times on the train.

Alex goes through the motions of eating her sticky bun, though her eyes are repeatedly drawn to her companion.

“You know who I am, don’t you?” Kara asks after one such glance. Her nose is scrunched up adorably as she fidgets with her fork.

Alex considers lying. “Yes, you’re Kara,” she replies matter-of-factly.

Kara’s head angles, mild confusion pulling at her features.

Alex smiles a secret smile. Of course Kara might not understand the significance of that, having not been privy to Alex’s internal debates over the last couple of months. “Kara Zorel,” Alex finishes quietly.

The way Kara’s shoulders slump just slightly make Alex wish she’d lied.

“You’ve seen ‘Defenders of Krypton’.” Kara looks away, mild displeasure on her face.

“No,” Alex admits honestly, “but I saw some posters.”

The startled way Kara’s attention jerks back to her makes another smile pull at Alex’s lips. “I did see you in ‘The Price of Beauty’ some years ago.”

Kara’s face seems to light up as she leans forward. “You’ve seen that? I didn’t think many people did.”

“You’re being modest; it was received very well at the festival here in National City. It made me glad I allowed my girlfriend to talk me into going.” It’s then that Alex freezes, silently conceding that perhaps she’s been spending too much time in the lab and not enough actually interacting with human beings outside of clinical situations.

To her surprise Kara chuckles, seeming even more comfortable than before. “Well, did she see ‘Defenders of Krypton’?”

“Hm, I don’t know. Maybe. I haven’t talked to her in a few years, but I doubt her love for movies has faded.” Alex squints as she tries to remember the last time she’d heard from Lena. Maybe there’d been an e-mail or something two Christmases ago?

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” Kara says, but she’s smiling as she shakes her head.

There’s a warm feeling low in Alex’s stomach. She blinks and then turns back to finishing her sticky bun. The silence is slightly uncomfortable due to Alex’s sudden self-consciousness.

“You don’t remember me, do you?”

The words come as a surprise. Didn’t they just cover this? She frowns at Kara.

“Not from the movies,” Kara says with a shy smile as she looks down at her empty plate. “A little over a year ago I decided to move here since I’d been having a little more success finding work. The first few days weren’t…that great. I’d rented a room at someone’s house, but they kicked me out so a friend could stay there after only a couple of days. I got on the train with all my belongings and I had no clue what I was going to do.”

A memory surfaces in the back of Alex’s mind, but it’s vague. Her eyes widen after a moment. “You were crying.”

Kara nods, her fingers tapping lightly at the table top. “You saved one of my bags from rolling down the aisle and you gave me a pack of tissues. You didn’t say anything, just went right back to your notebook, but that moment of kindness saved me from losing it and turning right back around to head home.”

There’s a powerful feeling in Alex’s chest that she can’t describe, but breathing is difficult and she’s sorry she doesn’t recall the moment with great clarity.

“You know, I’ve been so overwhelmed with the attention that new movie has brought upon me that I didn’t recognize you the first few times I saw you. It wasn’t until you came to my rescue on the platform that I realized it was you.” Kara looks directly at Alex now, and Alex is left speechless at the magnetism of the look.

Alex swallows and decides to be honest. “I don’t really remember the first thing too well, but I’m glad you decided to stay in National City.” She pauses. “Although your newfound fame does seem like it can be somewhat problematic.”

“It has its downsides,” Kara says with a shrug, “but nothing can replace the joy I felt the first time a little girl came up to me and said that she wanted to be just like Power Girl.”

Though Alex comprehends that she and Kara have wildly different careers, she appreciates that Kara seems to love her job just as much as Alex does. “That’s a pretty big perk.”

“It is.” Kara sighs happily and leans back in her chair, one hand rising to slide through her hair. “Tell me Alex, what is it that you do that always has you buried in your notebooks?”

“I’m a biomedical engineer at Star Labs,” Alex admits nervously. She doesn’t understand why she’s nervous; she’s a prominent and well respected member in her field, with a promising line of research into stimulating healthy cellular growth to severely damaged tissues with a device she and her father have been working for years.

Whatever reaction she’s been expecting, it isn’t the excitement she’s suddenly faced with.

“Really?” Kara’s leaning forward again, her hands pressed flatly to the table.

“Yes.” Alex shifts uncomfortably in her chair.

“I just landed a role as bio-technician in a new film,” Kara says brightly.

“Oh, that’s interesting.” Alex isn’t sure what else to say.

“Alex, I know we’ve only really just met, but talking to you might be really great research for my role.”

If Alex is a little let down, she doesn’t show it as Kara continues speaking.

“Plus, I don’t know, I feel really comfortable with you, and I was thinking maybe you might want to be friends. I know it’s weird because of the whole celebrity thing so you can say no if–”

“Sure. I’d love to.” Alex’s heart is thumping rapidly again, but she doesn’t second guess herself.

“Yeah?” Kara’s smile is tentative and quite possibly the most beguiling thing Alex has experienced.

“Yeah,” Alex affirms.

She doesn’t argue when Kara takes her hand, or at the ticklish feel of the pen as it traces unfamiliar numbers on her skin. She really could have just saved the number to her cellphone, but there’s something to be said for the warm softness of Kara’s skin against her own and the odd comfort she gets as she looks at the unfamiliar script on her palm.

Kara looks nervous as she caps the pen, biting at her lower lip. “This is kind of a private number, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give it out to anyone.”

“I’m a fan of privacy myself. I get it.”

They talk only a little more before Alex admits she has to go, and long after they’ve said their goodbyes and Alex has carefully made sure to copy the number to her phone she finds herself staring at her palm and wondering what will happen next in this little adventure she’s still not sure is real.


	28. Alien Invader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex/Kara, generated prompt from seventh sanctum “I wanted to be an alien invader.”

* * *

The stars are crisp and bright against the darkness of the sky, and Kara finds herself staring up at them more than paying attention to where she’s going. It’s fine though; with her senses it’s easy to tell when something’s in the way.

Or, well, it would be if she didn’t have a drunken Alex half-draped over her shoulder. When her shoe inevitably finds an uneven bit of stone, she’s glad that Midvale is woefully deserted this time of night on a Thursday. She doesn’t fall much before her instincts kick in and she floats for the barest of moments.

“Sorry,” Alex mumbles with her head hanging as Kara resettles on her feet.

Kara had wanted to fly them back home, but Alex had nearly vomited after only a brief moment off the ground. In truth, Kara doesn’t mind - well, maybe just a little.

“It’s fine, Alex.” She wants to be reassuring, but Alex still looks miserable.

“It’s not,” Alex says after a moment, “I never wanted you to see me this way.”

Kara bites her lip. She remembers Alex in college, trying to hide bottles and letters and red eyes after a late night out. She’d seen everything of course, but she hadn’t known how to speak to Alex about her lifestyle. 

Eliza had always been too harsh on Alex, and as a result Kara was always too afraid to comment on Alex’s life then. She wanted Alex to know without a doubt that she was, and is, on her side. She’s not like Eliza.

“Alex, no matter what you do I’ll always love you.” She nudges her head closer to Alex’s, pressing a single soft kiss to the crown of Alex’s head.

Once again she wishes she’d made different choices over the course of the evening. They’d been visiting Eliza together, and for whatever reason Eliza had been in rare form this visit. The positive speech versus Myriad had been long forgotten with the litany of criticisms Alex had faced tonight.

When Alex had stormed from the house, Kara'd had about had enough. She’d thrown her own share of criticisms Eliza’s way, which had resulted in an in depth discussion of Eliza’s actions.

In the meantime, Alex had gotten drunk. _Very_  drunk.

“You know, here little girls dream of all sorts of things. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an alien invader,” Alex says with only a hint of slurring.

“What?” Kara looks at Alex, surprised and more than a little confused.

Alex’s head turns until it’s resting on Kara’s shoulder. “I always loved my mom so much, and when I was little she used to hold me and sing to me and just…talk to me, you know? When I got a little older it was like I didn’t exist anymore unless it was about my grades or stuff like that. She was always busy with research, with your cousin, with the metahumans and aliens he fought.”

Kara inhales sharply through her nose. There’s a sad smile on Alex’s face and her eyes are abnormally shiny.

“I wanted to be an alien invader.”

For several moments, there’s only the sound of the night and their softly prodding feet.

“I’m going to fly us home now, and I’m going to do it very slowly,” Kara murmurs when she can speak around the thickness in her throat. She feels Alex nod against her shoulder, and then she’s cradling Alex carefully to her chest.

Normally, Alex would never allow herself to be carried this way, but Alex is vulnerable and in need of comfort - and even more than that, Kara needs to hold her. 

“I’ve got you,” Kara whispers when Alex’s eyes droop.


	29. The Breakup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Result of the blind-vote-prompt-shuffle event from tumblr. The prompt result was...the breakup.

In all the ways Alex imagined that things might end, the silence had never been one of them.

It had started small at first, because silence had never been a problem for them. Even as teenagers, words had only been one form of communication between her and Kara.

Alex pauses in packing her clothes away, releasing a shaky breath as she recalls the moment it had started.

_“Alex!”_

_Kara’s desperate shout is faint to Alex’s ears as she stares blindly upwards. Her vision is blurry as she tries to find her former ally, now unexpected assailant._

_Max looks dispassionately down at the jagged piece of silver kryptonite he’s just pierced her side with._

_“I warned you, Superg–”  
_

_Maxwell’s words are interrupted by an inhuman scream, and then a bright light flashes as Alex loses consciousness._

_It’s only two days later when Alex wakes up at the DEO that she understands it hadn’t been a dream or nightmare. Though Alex is unsurprised to find Kara keeping sentry in her room, there’s a hard cast to Kara’s features Alex has never seen before._

_Kara wavers from cold detachment long enough to step forward and press a kiss to Alex’s lips._

_The words that bubble up in Alex’s throat are swallowed back down. She doesn’t need to ask to know that Maxwell Lord isn’t just dead, but there’s nothing left of him to be buried._

_Kara cups her face, and Alex tries to take comfort in the familiar touch–but Kara’s eyes are vacant and her smile is practiced._

_“I love you,” Kara whispers. The feverish quality to the words make a kernel of fear grow low in the pit of Alex’s stomach. Is Kara alright?_

_“I love you too,” she replies, and for a moment Kara seems herself again._

_The moment passes, and then Kara is pulling back to stand straight. “I need to speak with J’onn. I’ll be back.”  
_

_Alex nods and tries to relax back against the pillow. The flash is back in her memory now, so bright that she can only just see bits of Max as Kara’s heat vision obliterates him from existence._

In truth, Alex hasn’t missed Max at all in the last month. Her hand rises absently to press against the ragged scar in her side. She can just barely feel it through the cotton of her shirt.

She hasn’t mourned his death, not for a moment, but she has mourned the loss of Kara.

Alex isn’t hypocritical enough to cast judgement on Kara for taking lives, but she knows that she’s been the cause of sending Kara down an irrevocable path.

Since Max’s death, she and Kara have fought numerous times about her going back into the field. Alex had thought that Kara would get over it–until two nights ago.

They’d been called out to a mission, and she and Kara had argued fiercely before she’d arrived to the scene. Alex had cut her comm, resolute to let Kara stew in silence while they both did their jobs.

It had been one of the worst nights of Alex’s life.

_“We’ve never shied away from defending this planet at all costs, but this is…a cause for concern, Alex. You’re being pulled from field duty until we can get Supergirl under control.” J’onn’s eyes shimmer red, and Alex wonders if he blames her half as much as she blames herself._

_She swallows. “I understand.”_

_J’onn has just made the decision that she’s been struggling with for the last ten hours. The night before, a DEO agent had made the mistake of coming between Kara and an alien that had been attempting to flank Alex. Neither the alien nor the agent had survived the encounter._

_“I want to be part of the notification team,” Alex adds after a brief pause. “Brian’s fiancé knows me. I should be there.”  
_

_J’onn nods once and then turns to leave._

_It’s then that Alex catches sight of Kara lingering in the background. Once, Kara would have been inconsolable at the thought of taking an innocent life._

_Kara’s chin rises. She offers Alex a half shrug. “Dim sum tonight?”_

_Alex knows that there is something very, very wrong._

“Is that everything?” comes Kara’s low voice from behind.

Alex stiffens, her hands balling into loose fists at her sides. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Again her hand rises to cover her side.

“You shouldn’t be leaving.” The words are soft but laced with anger.

There’s much Alex could say, but she stops herself. She’s the cause of every bit of blood on Kara’s hands.

Her own anger rises; for herself, for unforeseen endings, and for Max.

The tests that had come back only hours ago had confirmed the sliver of silver kryptonite embedded deep in Alex–so small and easily missed, and yet it had been slowly poisoning Kara. 

Surgery isn’t an option, not if she wants to live. Eventually, it will kill Alex anyway, but not before the poison eradicates every remnant of good in Kara.

“These things happen,” Alex says as she continues quietly packing.

She can feel the heat of Kara’s fury, the crackle of all the accusations she knows Kara is biting back.

Kara thinks there’s someone else, Alex knows. Kara doesn’t understand how she’s changed,or how unnaturally rapid that change has been. The silver kryptonite has tainted Kara’s perception, made her paranoid and worse.

Alex can live with Kara’s hate. It’s better than the alternative.

Their apartment remains silent as she finishes packing up the last box and adds it to the pile near the front door. “I’ll come back for these later.”

Alex tries to resist, but she can’t; her eyes seek out Kara.

Kara looks furious, her arms crossed across her chest and her fingers biting viciously into her biceps.  “Leave your key when you’re done.”

 _I love you_ , Alex wants to say. She doesn’t.

Kara’s gone scarcely half a second later. Alex visualizes the tiny bit of kryptonite in her torso to keep her emotions in check.

No, Alex had never imagined things ending this way.

She makes sure to turn the lights off and lock the door on her way out.


	30. The Doppelganger 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Ficlet Day: October, three word prompt style. Prompt: careful that's sharp.

* * *

“Careful, that’s _sharp_.”

Alex has to bite the inside of her cheek when her warning makes Kara jerk backwards from the small display stand.

Kara turns away from the cabinet with a sheepish smile. “Hi. I’m sorry to drop by unannounced, but I had some questions about the notes you sent me.” She pauses and gestures to the tip of the crystal she’d come very close to touching. “And I was curious.”

“It’s a clear quartz phurba dagger. It was a gift from my dad’s best friend.” Alex smiles and carefully reaches out to touch the carved handle. “The blade is much sharper than it looks.”

She can feel Kara looking at her, probably wondering at the incongruity of the object in Alex’s otherwise modern office. “I had an interest in anthropology as a teenager. Hank got in the habit of bringing back little mementos for me. He brought this back from Tibet last year.”

“He must have a cool job,” Kara says as she admires the dagger.

“Something like that.” Alex leans against the cabinet. “You said you had some questions?”

Kara bobs her head, a pseudo-serious look descending on her face. “Yes, right. Um, actually,” Kara swallows and looks away.

Alex tilts her head, a small frown on her face. “Actually?”

“I was thinking we might go out and grab some lunch, and, you know, talk about your notes.” Kara seems to stand taller, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her v-neck t-shirt.

“Oh.” Alex blinks and then raises her wrist to check her watch. It’s a little after twelve. Normally she just grabs something nutritional from the small cafeteria upstairs - when she remembers to eat lunch, that is. The possibility of leaving work has never factored into her schedule.

She finds herself staring at Kara’s guest pass, the dark block letters bold against the white background. There’s no way she’s letting Kara eat at the cafeteria here. The food is far too bland.

Even worse, Kara’s going to start shooting the first episode of her show in a matter of weeks. It means long hours and nearly no opportunities for them to hang out. Alexandra Danvers decides to do something she never does. “Yeah, sure. Where do you want to go?”

The smile that overtakes Kara’s face is contagious. Not only is Alex agreeing to leave work, she’s _happy_ about it.

“I know a place not too far from here. It’s just a few minutes walking.” Kara seems excited now, though her fidgeting hands are tucked into the back pockets of her jeans. She seems to almost be vibrating with energy.

It’s all rather distracting for Alex, who finds herself staring. She clears her throat. “Shall we?”

*

Thirty minutes later Alex is seated on a wooden park bench, Kara beside her as they eat their Po’boys.

“You know, when you said you knew a place, I didn’t think it’d be a food truck,” Alex admits before she takes another careful bite of her sandwich. Though Alex enjoys food, she hardly indulges in anything that isn’t nutritionally balanced. The beef Po’boy is a new experience, and not one she regrets.

“Oh,” Kara says with wide eyes, “sorry. I didn’t think to ask if this was okay. The food there is just really super good and--”

“Kara, it’s fine. This is delicious.” Alex takes a shaky breath when the words prompt another smile from Kara. Her enjoyment of the experience is only partly due to the food. She’d thought after several meetings with Kara, she’d become immune to Kara’s “star effect” (or so Alex has come to consider it).

“Good--great,” Kara replies, reaching over to squeeze Alex’s arm gently.

Alex’s heart pounds. She forces herself not to lean into the touch, far too cognizant of how marvelous the pressure feels even through her shirt. She licks her lips and forces her attention back to her food. If Kara keeps feeding her like this, she’ll need to change her workout routine. “You wanted to talk about my notes?”

“Oh, right, yeah. I almost forgot.” Kara laughs, her eyes and nose crinkling up.

Alex takes a large bite of her sandwich to avoid saying something embarrassing. It’s quite terrible, being around Kara - reminiscent of Alex’s dreadful crush on the town librarian when she was in high school. She chews slowly as Kara leans over to tug up her messenger bag.

“So I’m really grateful that you’ve shared so many interesting facts about working in a lab, but I’m a little confused. See, we just got our first script…”

At first Alex has a hard time paying attention - she’s really lucky she and Kara have become friends now, and not when her teenage hormones had both her emotions and acne out of control - but it doesn’t take long for her distraction to fade.

“Wh-what? No.” She reaches out for Kara’s script, frowning down at the sheaf of papers. “Do you have a consultant for this at all? Do your writers even _remember_ high school chemistry? That’s not safe.”

She mumbles and scowls as she looks through the documents. “Do they want the lead actress to look like an idiot, or a professional?”

Kara says nothing, and it’s then that Alex considers that perhaps she’s overstepped her bounds. She looks up. Kara is grinning. Again.

“I thought so,” Kara agrees with a nod. “The writers are pretty great, but I think it’s been a long time since any of them stepped foot in any kind of lab.”

Alex laughs, a little forced but mostly relieved. She combs a hand through her hair. “Yeah, I can tell.”

“I was thinking,” Kara says as she pushes against the bench seat with both hands, as if bracing herself, “that since you’re kind of in a lull with work right now that your funding is secured and you’re waiting for the lawyers to work out some stuff, um. You know, I was thinking that maybe it might be cool if you’d consult for the show. Not just for me.”

The offer is nothing that Alex has expected. She’s griped about bad science she’s seen on TV, sure. But working with an actual TV show?

“You’re brilliant, Alex.” The soft words are emphasized by an equally soft hand. On Alex’s knee.

_Brain. Think, brain._

“I really want the show done right, and I know if you help it’ll be so much better.”

Alex’s voice doesn’t work at first. She clears her throat. “Do your bosses know you want a consultant? I mean, shouldn’t they be finding someone?”

“I’m pretty cool with both the EPs, and I’ve talked Annie’s ear off about you already. She actually asked me to get you to look at this. She wants this done right, too.” Kara taps the script.

“Hm. I am still going to be busy with work, it just won’t be as hectic.” When Kara’s expression falters, she hurries to continue. “But my dad has been kind of nudging me to work a little less now that the most stressful parts with financing is over. We’ve secured the money for additional staff, and...well, I’m trying to say that I wouldn’t mind trying. To help you. With your show.”

Kara squeals with glee; it’s Alex’s only warning before she’s pulled into an exuberant hug.

 _Holy shit, she smells great_. Alex awkwardly returns the hug with one arm, trying not to lose the script in her lap or the remnants of the sandwich in her left hand.

“Oh, sorry!” Kara leans back, her eyes seeming to twinkle. Her cheeks are an adorable pink. “I just got super excited at the thought of us working together more.”

“No, it’s fine. I get it. I think that’s pretty exciting too.”

They hurry to finish their lunch when Alex realizes they’ve been away from Star Labs for nearly an hour, Kara apologizing profusely for monopolizing Alex’s precious time.

It isn’t until Alex is examining a data set some time later that it sinks in that she’s going to be working with _Kara Zorel_ on a television show. Maybe. Possibly. She’s not hired yet, or anything.

She’s unable to stop the warmth that grows and spreads in her stomach at the thought of having a perfectly reasonable excuse to hang out with Kara on set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and all the other pieces of The Doppelganger have been compiled into a oneshot, as well as around 5k words of additional story to bring this one to what I feel is a satisfactory close. The oneshot is called [The Doppelganger](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8727658/chapters/20006917).


	31. Geneva

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title prompt for November's ficlet day. “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel for Kalex + Lucy or Vasquez requested by JT.

* * *

Alex is weary by the time she makes it up the last flight of stairs. The elevator is out, and she doesn’t have the patience to do anything but hurry up--up to home. Kara.

Her overnight bag is heavy in her hand, but it seems suddenly lighter when she finds Kara waiting outside their apartment door.

“Kara,” she breathes out, relieved.

Kara’s smile seems nervous for a bare second, but then she’s sweeping forward to pull Alex into a hug. “I missed you.”

Alex closes her eyes, half burying her face against Kara’s neck. She even _smells_ like home...and...

She frowns. “Do I smell smoke?”

Kara jolts backward, her hands moving restlessly from the hem of her shirt to her glasses and back. “Oh, um, smoke? What? No, no, why would there be--Okay, look. We didn’t start the fire, I just want you to know that.”

Alex blinks slowly, her tired mind trying to process the flurry of words. “Who didn’t start-- _Kara,_ a _fire?_ ”

Just when she thinks Kara might speak, the door to their apartment opens. Vasquez freezes, giving Alex time to observe her disheveled appearance. Her colleague’s normally neat hair is spiked up in several directions, and her face is stained with ash or soot.

Alex squints. “What happened to your eyebrows?”

“Oh, haha, well, funny story,” Kara says with wide eyes, “a--um, story, which Agent Vasquez is obviously more qualified to relate.”

Vasquez recoils backward, her attention traveling from Alex to Kara and back again. “Uh, what, me? But i-it was your, and then you--”

“ _Oh my god_ ,” comes a muffled voice through the door, and then it’s opening again. Lucy, looking as immaculate as ever, glares between the two nervous women. “Kara wanted to make you dinner, and Susan decided to help. _Susan_ ,” Lucy emphasizes the word with another hard glare that makes Vasquez wince, “bet that Kara couldn’t cook the meal only using her heat vision.”

“What?” Alex’s frown deepens. It’s not like Kara to be lured into silly bets--that’s more of Alex’s thing--but the expression on Kara’s face only confirms her guilt.

“She said she’d get a soft-serve ice cream machine installed in the break room at the DEO if I did it,” Kara blurts out scarcely a second under Alex’s attention.

“Kara,” Alex begins patiently, “you know things so advanced that they make rocket science look like basic arithmetic, and you’re telling me you decided to do this anyway?”

Kara winces and ducks her head. “I didn’t take into account the external conditions impacting certain factors--namely, the melting point of stainless steel and, um, you know how sometimes when I focus I take in these deep breaths? And you wanted to get rid of that table anyway?”

“She sneezed while she was trying to cook the meatloaf,” Vasquez mumbles.

Alex’s eye twitches, and she’s less than amused when Lucy tries to smother a laugh. “And you? What’s your role in all of this?”

Lucy shrugs and relaxes against the doorjamb. “I brought wine to drink while I watched the two idiots screw up your welcome home party. Don’t worry, I remembered all the locations of the fire extinguishers. It helped since Kara was too scared to put the fire out any other way.”

There’s silence in the hallway.

“Are you...mad?” Kara asks in a small voice.

Alex takes a breath. And another. She’s _tired_ , dammit.

Though the welcome isn’t what Alex has expected, it’s hard for her to be upset when Kara looks so earnestly apologetic. It helps that Kara had managed to respect Alex’s wishes and hadn’t followed Alex on the trip. Her flights to Geneva wouldn’t _always_ need to make crash landings.

“I did hate that table,” she finally says, “Mom picked it out and didn’t bother to ask my opinion. She can’t get mad if _you’re_ the one that destroyed it.”

Kara visibly cheers up, a wide grin on her face as she reaches for Alex’s hand. “Takeout?”

“Sounds perfect,” Alex admits with a smile.

“I vote for Indian,” Lucy says as she moves out of the doorway.

“Shut up, Lane. You could have stopped this at any time. We’re getting Thai.” It’s the small victories, Alex decides as she tosses her overnight bag on the couch. Who got a welcome home party after only being gone a little over a day and a half?

She combs a hand through her hair, glancing to the side when she receives a nudge to the side. Vasquez looks at her, and then pointedly over to a forlorn Kara.

“You don’t want Thai?” Alex guesses.

Kara nibbles at her lower lip, giving Alex a hesitant look. “I kind of wanted pizza?”

Alex can feel both Vasquez and Lucy staring her way. She inhales very slowly.

“Alright, but you’re ordering.” She doesn’t have much of a reputation left to uphold, anyway. Lucy’s snickering doesn’t bother her, Alex silently tells herself. Still, she doesn’t hesitate to retrieve her bag and make a hasty retreat to her shared room with Kara.

Everything looks just the way she left it. She’s too exhausted to shower, but she manages to splash water on her face and change from her travel clothes.

Warm arms settle around her waist, and then Alex is content to lean back against Kara’s strong shoulder. She’s rewarded with a kiss pressed delicately to the side of her face.

“I missed you,” Kara says lowly.

Alex smiles.


	32. That Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After stopping by Alex's place and catching the unmistakable odor of too much alcohol, Kara decides to find out what's going on with Alex. Takes place back in Alex's wild college years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual content warning specifically for this chapter. This definitely falls into the "smangst" category. You should be proud though, I avoided doing the full-angst ending I originally intended. ♥

* * *

Kara adjusts her dress as she stands in line, shoulders hunched as she waits impatiently for the bouncer to check the IDs of everyone in front of her.

She can already see Alex inside the club, arms raised as she loses herself in the overwhelming bass of the music. The dress she’s wearing is one Kara has never seen, a backless black number that defies gravity as it remains in place on Alex’s body. Kara clenches her hands into tight fists at her sides and looks away.

It’s exactly as she’s suspected after her morning visit to Alex’s place. She’d tried not to use her x-ray vision, but the stench of alcohol had been overwhelming despite Alex’s attempts to hide the bottles.

Kara’s turn finally comes, and she tugs her ID out so it can be closely inspected. She pushes her way into the dim interior of the club after escaping the close scrutiny of the bouncer.

She stares down at the back of her hand. The stamp on her skin matches the smeared one she’d seen on Alex’s wrist only hours ago. Kara had been hoping that she was wrong, that Alex hasn’t been drinking her life away so close to earning her degree.

The flashing lights make Kara frown, and she moves off to the side to collect herself. She isn’t sure what she’s going to do; she only knows she needs to help Alex, if only a fraction of the way Alex has helped her.

Alex’s laughter rings out, drowned out by the music to nearly everyone but Kara.

She doubts Alex has had much time to consume much in the way of alcohol - despite the laughter there’s a tense set to Alex’s shoulders and her eyes are clear.

Alex’s lips move as she says something to her dance partner, a tall man in a snug shirt and jeans that Kara doesn’t much care for at all.

The tall man leans down to say something to Alex, and then they’re making their way to the bar.

Kara knows she needs to do something _now_ before Alex is lost again to the alcohol.

She takes a steadying breath and then she’s plowing her way through the pulsing crowd that reeks of booze, sweat, and other things Kara knows she’s better off not trying to identify.

“Alex,” she calls out when she’s only a step and a half away.

There’s recognition in the way Alex stiffens under the arm of her companion, but Alex doesn’t turn around.

“Alex,” Kara insists.

Alex’s shoulders heave, and then she’s is jerking around so that she’s face to face with Kara.

“Kara?” Alex pales, her throat working as she swallows.

Kara sees something akin to shame steal over her features, but then Alex is frowning.

“Everything alright, babe?” the tall man rumbles.

Both Alex and Kara ignore him.

“What are you doing here?” There’s a shaky quality to the question, Alex’s eyes flickering between Kara’s face and their surroundings.

“What am _I_ doing here? What are _you_ doing here?” Kara snaps out. She doesn’t mean to, but she’s nervous and upset and she doesn’t like the possessive way the tall man continues to reach out to Alex.

“I’m an adult, Kara, and I needed to cut loose. What are _you_ doing here? Have you been following me?” There’s ire mixed in with Alex’s fear now.

“N-no, not really,” Kara begins with a stutter. She steadies herself. “I saw the stamp on your wrist and I was curious. And worried.”

Alex’s jaw works, and then she’s shoving the tall man’s insistent hand away from her back. “You don’t need to worry about me,” Alex grinds out as she stalks away.

Kara shoves the man again when he makes as if to follow Alex, giving him a warning glare before following in Alex’s wake.

“This doesn’t look like I need to worry?” Kara scoffs in a raised voice. She isn’t sure if Alex hears her.

They weave in and out of the crowd until it begins to thin, passing a line for the restrooms and rounding a corner. The hallway is secluded, and Kara can hear the low “shit” Alex exhales when she sees the exit is for emergency use only.

“Will you stop and talk to me now?”

The question seems to hang in the air as Alex remains unmoving.

“You...you weren’t supposed to see any of this. I didn’t want you to see me like this.” The second part is said in a whisper, Alex’s voice breaking before she can finish.

Kara’s lips part. She’d expected...well, she isn’t sure what she expected. “Alex,” she murmurs as she rushes to step around Alex.

Everything fades away when she spots the tears tumbling down Alex’s cheeks. “I’m sorry,” Kara says though she isn’t sure why. She only knows that she can’t stand to see Alex upset, and she steps forward to pull Alex into a hug.

Alex doesn’t relax into the hug, instead trying to pull away. Her head shakes. “No, no, you can’t. I can’t. I’m not, I--”

“Alex, _please_. Let me help you,” Kara insists softly as Alex retreats backward.

Alex’s head continues to shake, even as her back meets the wall with a quiet thud. “Y-you can’t help me with this.”

And Kara hesitates; not because she’s scared, but but because she doesn’t know if pressing Alex further is the right idea. She takes a shuddering breath and then steps forward, her hands reaching out to curl around Alex’s hips. “Let me try.”

Kara watches in fascination as a tear falls from Alex’s trembling lips.

Alex looks up and her expression freezes. “I’m sorry,” she says a moment before her eyes droop and she leans forward.

Kara’s head jerks back before their lips can make contact.

Alex’s face seems to crumble--and then she’s covering it with both hands. She tries to pull away from Kara’s embrace, but Kara doesn’t move.

She can’t move.

She can’t think.

Kara can only focus on the way Alex trembles, and how warm the space between their bodies is.

Alex sobs, and then it’s as if something in Kara fractures. Kara’s hands loosen their grip from Alex’s hips, and she watches in silent fascination as they rise to gently pry Alex’s hands away from her face by the wrists.

Alex’s makeup is smeared and her nose is red, and half a heartbeat later, Kara discovers that her tear-soaked lips taste _sweet_.

She sways into Alex as one kiss becomes two, and when Alex’s lips part with a gasp, Kara instinctively presses closer.

Her hands bring Alex’s arms up until they’re pressed against the wall, and she takes a shuddering breath when Alex’s hips buck forward in response. She can feel the pulse in Alex’s wrists beat wildly against her hands.

Kara has never been drunk, but she wonders if this is what it feels like. She’s dizzy and too hot, and there’s a throbbing hum low in her body that makes her shift so she can press a leg between Alex’s.

Alex jerks away from the kiss with a gasp, her head tossed backward and exposing her neck to Kara’s feverish gaze.

There is nothing Kara can do but give in to the urge to press open mouthed kisses along the inviting skin. Alex sobs, and Kara trails her mouth up until her lips are brushing the shell of Alex’s ear. “Let me help you,” she murmurs right before her right hand loosens its grip on Alex’s wrist and drops down.

Kara’s lips trace Alex’s jawline as her free hand finds the hem of Alex’s dress and dips under it.

“Kara,” Alex whispers brokenly as Kara’s quivering thumb brushes at her soft inner thigh.

Alex’s breath seems loud to Kara’s ears, drowning out everything but the knowledge that this is _Alex_. Kara is touching _Alex_.

She fights to keep her eyes open, losing the battle when her hand finds the slick heat of Alex’s arousal. Every half-thought fantasy she’s ever pushed away flashes in her mind a moment before she slides inside Alex for the first time.

Alex cries out and clutches at Kara’s shoulder with her free hand, and Kara murmurs soft intelligible things against her cheek.

Her hand thrusts in an even tempo, Kara lost in the euphoria of _feeling_ Alex slowly tighten around her searching fingers.

“Kara,” Alex half-sobs, and Kara presses tender kisses to the side of her face and interlaces their free hands together.

“Let go,” Kara whispers. Alex gasps, and then Kara is lost in the feel of velvet muscles gripping her fingers.

Their arms slowly droop from the wall as Alex settles down after her climax, their chests heaving together.

The drunk feeling is stronger now, especially when Kara carefully withdraws her hand from under Alex’s dress and she catches a soft waft of Alex’s arousal.

Her lower body hums with the need for _more, more, more_ , but then she looks up.

Alex is crying again, her eyes squeezed shut and her head firmly pressed against the wall.

“Alex?” Kara asks as she suppresses the urge to step back.

“We shouldn’t have done that,” Alex says, her head wrenching roughly from side to side.

“Alex--”

“We shouldn’t have done that,” Alex repeats, her eyes jerking open and remaining wide.

“Alex, no, hey,” Kara coaxes. She refuses to retreat, knowing that if she does that Alex will close herself off. “We didn’t do anything wrong.”

Alex’s jaw works, and Kara can tell she’s fighting another bout of tears.

Again, Kara is inexplicably drawn to action. Her chest is tight as she brings her left hand up to carefully cup Alex’s face, exerting gentle pressure until Alex finally looks her in the eye.

“We did nothing wrong.” She pauses, her thumb brushing softly over Alex’s lips. “I love you.”

And Alex does cry then, but instead of pulling away, she folds forward into Kara’s embrace.

The tension in Kara’s chest eases, and she feels like she can breathe again with Alex’s head tucked against her shoulder.

They talk in low murmurs, Alex refusing to show her face for the first several minutes.

“Kara,” Alex says after a while, “when you said--” Her voice cracks and she takes a breath. “When you said you wanted to help me, I...you didn’t have to do _this_.”

Kara’s heart skips a beat. “Alex, no. Did you, do you really think that I would,” Kara has to swallow from saying something she might regret. She closes her eyes and forces herself to calm down. “This happened because I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”

The music and rowdiness of the club seeps back into her consciousness. She looks down at the sticky floor with warm cheeks. “Though, not like this, not the first time.”

Alex laughs, and it isn’t until they’re finally looking at each other again that Kara understands that she’s relieved.

Kara’s chest aches and she finds herself smiling. “Let’s go home.”

“O-okay.” Alex nods cautiously and tugs a nervous hand through her long hair.

Kara’s smile widens as she turns to move away, pausing only to hold her hand out.

Alex takes her hand and offers her a shaky smile in return.

“Kara,” Alex says just before they head back out to the club, “I love you too.”

Kara’s happy laugh is lost to the music and the crowd.


	33. Not the Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is summoned to the alien bar by M'gann - only to find something quite surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday, have an Alex/Kara ficlet.
> 
> This idea came about the other day when I was reading over some of goshdarnitjay‘s advent calendar ficlets. Particularly, the drunk Kara one. It inspired an idea about drunk Clark that Jay wholeheartedly encouraged me to write. Mentions of Clark x Lois.

* * *

Alex frowns down at her phone as she steps into the bar, wondering what the cryptic text could mean.

Until she looks up, only to find a very _drunk_ Clark seated at the wraparound counter. His normally neatly styled hair is mussed, with his glasses smudged and resting haphazardly on his nose.

She blinks and glances back down at her phone.

 _‘Kryptonian drinking here, might need assistance,’_ reads M’gann’s text.

Alex doesn’t hesitate to quickly find Kara’s name and send off her own text. ‘Need help at alien bar ASAP. Clark is here.’

Really, Alex isn’t the best one to be dealing with Clark. Especially not alone. She’s both grateful he’d brought her Kara, _and_ resentful at how quick he’d been to abandon his cousin.

Really, Alex doesn’t care what has the ‘jeepers’, teetotalling, Kansas-raised alien so deep into his cups on a Thursday night.

Really, she doesn’t.

Kara doesn’t respond right away, and Alex is left to awkwardly avoid M’gann’s gaze. It’s not her problem.

Except, of course, that he _is_ kind of family. Dammit.

“Hey, buddy,” she says as she awkwardly takes the seat next to Clark, “everything, uh, okay?” Alex winces, knowing that she’s failed in acting normal.

Clark’s reaction is sluggish and comical. “Alex,” he says with slur. His eyes are wide and brimming with tears. “I”m so glad you’re here.” His face crumples and then he lurches forward to pull her into a painfully tight hug.

She has a sudden wish that she’d thought to bring kryptonite. Not to _hurt_ Clark, but to seriously de-power him. “Clark, my ribs. I think you’re breaking them,” Alex manages to gasp out after a moment.

“Oh!” comes the extremely high-pitched word.

Alex isn’t sure the odd sound had really come from Clark.

“I’m sorry,” Clark continues in the same high-pitched voice. His lips are wobbling and a fresh tear spills over onto his cheeks. “I’m kind of going through a lot right now.”

Without another word he reaches for a nearly full glass of unidentified liquid, awkwardly gulping its contents down as he continues to cry.

Alex can only stare, wondering what she could have ever done to deserve to end up in her current position. She glares at M’gann behind the counter, who only shrugs.

“He ordered four up front. I thought he could handle it.” M’gann glances around and leans forward. “I texted you after the second. Glad you’re here.”

A muscle begins to tick near Alex’s eye, but before she can comment, M’gann has walked to the furthest reaches of the bar. It’s obvious she’s trying to give Alex and Clark a wide berth.

“I came as fast as I could,” comes Kara’s familiar voice.

Alex’s relief is nearly instantaneous.

“Kara,” Clark nearly wails as he turns around in his stool, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Kara chuckles awkwardly when she’s pulled into an over enthusiastic hug, gently patting Clark’s back. “Clark, um, what are you doing here? Why are, you, um...I-I thought you don’t drink?” Her words are emphasized by another uncomfortable chuckle.

“Lois and I had a fight. I think she hates me. I-it’s so hard, and gosh darnit, I just needed somefing--something and Jimmy told me about this place and I thought--”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” Kara says as she looks over his shoulder with wide eyes. _Help me_ , she mouths at Alex.

“Is it?” Clark asks as he pulls back from the hug and wipes at his face with a hand.

His shirt is half untucked and his tie is crooked, Alex notes distractedly.

“Um, maybe we should,” Kara begins as she adjusts her glasses.

Clark steps back and reaches out so he’s got a hand each on both Alex and Kara’s arms.

“You know, you two remind me of me and Lois,” he says in a voice that wobbles dangerously. “At first I thought it was a little weird, but you can’t help who you love.” His voice breaks at the last part, and Kara steps closer to pull him into another hug.

Alex can only stare at him. “What?”

“I love Lois so much,” he mumbles as his head slumps onto Kara’s shoulder.

“I think maybe I should take him home,” Kara says hesitantly when Clark stops moving or speaking.

Alex shakes her head in an attempt to shake the numbness in her mind away. “He said he and Lois got into a fight. Don’t they live together?”

Kara winces and glances downward. “Yeah.”

They’re silent. Alex straightens on her stool and refuses to look at either Kara or Clark.

“Alex, could you--”

“No.”

“ _Alex_ , you know I just had to throw my couch out, there’s nowhere for him to--”

“No, Kara.” It’s then that Alex makes the mistake of glancing at Kara under her lashes. “Dammit, you’re not supposed to use the _pout_ on me. We have rules!”

Kara doesn’t respond, instead sighing woefully and giving Alex her best forlorn look.

Alex scoots her stool back in disgust, stubbornly looking away from Kara and huffing. “ _Fine_. Let me drive home and set something up. You can follow in like fifteen minutes or something.”

“You could--”

“I am _not_ driving him home in my car. What if he gets sick? He could _literally_ destroy my upholstery. Nope.” Alex juts her chin out and sticks her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

Kara smiles. “Thanks, Alex.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she grumbles under her breath. She tries to ignore the feel of Kara’s warm hand squeezing her shoulder. Outwardly, at least.

*

“You think he’ll be alright?” Kara asks some time later.

Clark is curled up on Alex’s couch, a knit blanket snugly tucked around him.

“He’ll be fine.” Alex’s arms are crossed as she stares down at the lightly snoring Kryptonian.

“I mean, I’ve been drunk before now, too. I know physically he’ll be fine…” Kara fidgets when her voice trails off.

“But?” Alex asks as she looks over to her sister.

Kara shifts uncomfortably and shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”

Alex knows she shouldn’t ask.

She clearly remembers Clark’s statements at the bar.

“But?” she insists softly.

Kara’s cheeks flush. She looks off to the side, seemingly examining Alex’s curtains. “He, um, thinks we...that we’re, uh.”

Alex’s eyebrows slowly rise. “That we’re what?”

The laugh that Kara forces out sounds wholly unnatural. “That we’re, you know, dating or something.”

The last is said in a rush that takes Alex a few moments to decipher. Her heartbeat accelerates. “Why would he think that?” she manages to ask.

Her mind flashes to the night she’d helped a drunken Kara home. She doesn’t want it to, but it does.

She raises a hand absently to brush her bottom lip; she’d thought Kara far too inebriated to remember the clumsy kiss. Alex surely hadn’t expected it to receive it at the time, and Kara had fallen asleep right after.

“Funny story,” Kara says with still-pink cheeks. “A while ago he was going on about Lois this and Lois that, and I don’t know what came over me, but I started talking about you a lot because, honestly, Lois is cool and all, but you’re so much cooler and...and I don’t know why I did that. I think it gave him the wrong idea.”

Alex doesn’t understand why she’s disappointed. She doesn’t evaluate the feeling to try to understand why, either. “Oh, okay. Yeah.”

She stares down at Clark, not knowing what else to say. She feels - not herself, oddly detached from her surroundings that should be home.

“Should I stay over tonight?” Kara asks when the less-than-comfortable silence lingers.

“You don’t have to,” Alex replies automatically. She’s not sure if it’s a good idea.

“I mean, I totally can. I kind of think I should. What if he gets up and does something? You have a nice place. I love this place. I don’t want it ruined.” Kara fidgets with the hem of her button-up as she looks around

Alex squints. “You already took my last apartment, you can’t have this one.”

The odd tension - discomfort - dissipates as quickly as it had descended.

Kara laughs, the sound almost seeming manic. “I mean, I already decorated it.”

“What is it with you wanting to steal my spaces? You know, even when we were teenagers you always wanted my room after you moved out of it. You hated when my mom gave you Dad’s converted study - which was _way_ bigger than mine, by the way.” She rolls her eyes and scoffs, ready to go on.

Except Kara isn’t laughing. Her arms are curled tightly around herself as she looks away. She’s trying to make herself appear _smaller_.

Alex’s stomach twists and tightens, and she reaches out to Kara.

Only, Kara steps away.

Alex tries to draw closer, only for Kara to retreat further.

Kara is nearly to the door, and Alex’s heart feels like it’s going to pound up and out of her throat. “Kara, wait, please. I’m sorry.” She isn’t sure what she’s apologizing for, but she’s almost relieved when her fingertips brush Kara’s shoulder.

The tightness in her stomach eases just a little, at least.

Though Kara is facing fully away now, stiff and unmoving, she allows Alex’s hand to settle onto her shoulder.

“It’s never been about your room, or your apartments,” Kara declares in a low voice. “It’s about _you_. It’s always been about you.”

“Kara?” Alex hopes she doesn’t sound as confused as she feels. She cautiously moves around so she can look at Kara.

“I love you, Alex.” The word are almost fierce, though Kara still won’t look up from the ground.

“Kara, you know I lo--”

Alex’s words stutter to a halt when Kara is suddenly surging forward, her hand rising to lightly grip Alex’s head.

Breathing is impossible as Kara leans in for a kiss, and Alex squeezes her eyes shut.

“It’s not the same,” Kara says sadly.

The breaths of the words tickle at Alex’s lips tauntingly.

When she opens her eyes, Kara is gone.

Once again, Alex finds herself touching her bottom lip. She smiles, though there’s tears in her eyes. “Yes, it is.”

She grabs her coat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I haven't actually watched season 2. I've only seen snippets in gifsets.


	34. The Breakup 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events after Alex leaves and Kara starts to feel better. And worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put this on tumblr, but I want to put it here as well. I do not hate Alex and Kara. I really don't. I love them. I hesitated to write and post this so soon after "Wednesday", but I couldn't find any other way to write it that wouldn't leave me hating the fic altogether. This is the prompt request from the 2nd place winner of the Music Raffle Exchange.
> 
> The request was a continuation of the silver kryptonite fic “as angsty as you can make it but with a hopeful/happy ending.”
> 
> But, stay tuned friends. I have one last offering for you. It probably won't come out until tomorrow, but I promised JoyfulTemplar a fluffy Christmas thing. It will be pure fluff (well okay maybe tiny twinges of angst) but I assure you it will be perfectly happy.

* * *

_The block is chaotic, people scattering and running as the trio of aliens flee through their neighborhood. Kara’s face is stony as she watches from above, carefully paying attention to the squads of DEO agents as they maneuver to capture the grey-skinned Naklor._

_One splits from the rest, and Kara’s eyes begin to burn. He’s trying to outsmart the agents in pursuit of him - and Alex is hot on his trail._

_Kara can see it a moment before it’ll happen, and an oddly detached feeling gives way to anger. No one is taking Alex away from her._

_She swoops down and screams as her heat vision erupts from her eyes, obliterating everything in its path._

_The look on her face is pleased, even if the macabre baring of her teeth can hardly be called a smile._

_“Kara.”_

_Kara clenches her fists and turns. “I got him, Alex.”_

_“Kara,” Alex’s head is shaking from side to side, staring behind Kara with wide eyes._

_The look makes Kara jolt around. Was someone else here trying to take Alex from her? To ambush her? Take them both? Kill them both?_

_But there’s nothing save the ash of the bodies of her foes. She double checks with her x-ray vision to be sure._

_“Kara, you killed Brian. You...killed Brian.”_

_There’s a look of horror on Alex’s face and tears in her eyes._

_Kara frowns. “He shouldn’t have gotten in my way. Maybe he was working with them.”_

*

“I had the dream again last night,” Kara says in a low voice. She’s slumped into the creaky chair that’s comfortable despite its age. She can’t look across the desk.

“The memory, you mean.” J’onn’s voice is even, but the words still feel harsh.

Kara purses her lips in an attempt to keep the feel of building tears at bay. She loses the fight just like every other time, her hands coming up to cover her face. “Yes.”

“You weren’t yourself,” J’onn’s gentle voice reminds her.

It doesn’t help, not really. She’d taken three lives, and Kara can’t even say that she’s _happy_ she killed Maxwell Lord. Kara had always felt confident that she was worthy of her power because she held to a certain set of ideals - Kryptonian ideals she honored in the name of her mother.

“I was partly myself. Just like with red kryptonite.”

J’onn grunts, involuntarily making her look up. “The most important parts of you were changed, Kara. I am as responsible as you are for those deaths. As your superior, I should have recognized the slow shift in your behavior. The changes were gradual, and none of us saw the signs. We should have all been more careful.”

Kara forces out something resembling a laugh, fresh tears trickling down her cheeks. “That won’t bring any of them back.”

Only the sound of their breathing interrupts the silence of the room for several moments. J’onn shifts in his chair.

“Have you heard from her?”

“No,” comes Kara’s immediate response.

The silence lingers again.

“We’re still looking.”

Kara feels like she’ll crumble and wither away. She shakes her head. “You’ll never find her, not when she believes staying away is best for me.”

“We’re _still_ looking,” J’onn insists gruffly.

That’s Kara’s fault too. She knows it irrefutably. Alex had cut all ties with _everyone_ just to be sure Kara couldn’t find her. It wasn’t a punishment or personal fear, at least not for Alex herself, but for what Kara might do.

Kara had cried many times when they’d talked about what she’d done under the influence of red kryptonite.

It wasn’t a surprise that Alex had slipped away the moment she’d understood why Kara had changed. Knowing Alex, she probably blamed herself.

Being away from Alex is horrible enough, but knowing that Alex is so utterly _alone_ makes it worse.

Alex isn’t the murderer.

When Kara closes her eyes, she can still see the look of shock on Alex’s face.

Maybe it’s better they’re apart, but Kara can’t stop the ache in her chest because of it.

*

It had been like a fog slowly lifting at first, so gradual that she didn’t understand it until the feeling was utterly gone. She’d woken up crying one morning when the dream - memory - of killing Brian had returned.

Previously she’d felt immune to the events, like she’d been watching them from underwater rather than living through them. Gasping awake that one morning had been...different.

Her mind had been clear, and the fury she’d felt at Alex’s leaving so abruptly, so totally, had evaporated like morning mist. All the paranoid thoughts that had her reasoning that each of her choices had been the right ones were gone, and they’d left her a terrified, quivering mass of shame and self loathing.

In the beginning, her only thoughts of Alex were that she’d been glad Alex had escaped. She’d been glad that Alex didn’t have to be around for her descent into madness.

It had taken her three days to contact J’onn, to tell him that she was sorry and to plead with him to help her. She had to get better, she had to help people again.

Kara had a lot to atone for, and even if she saved hundreds of people every day for the rest of her long life, she could never bring back the three lives she’d taken. She had to try, though, or she’d simply fly herself into the sun and hope to be purified in Sol’s light.

J’onn had set up a time, and they’d talked for hours. He’d been around a lot longer than she had, and had resolved himself to a soldier’s life centuries ago.

It took weeks for his words to penetrate, for Kara to begin to come to terms with the things she’d done and said. The guilt and loathing will never utterly fade, but it’s a start.

She and J’onn set aside time to talk most days now, and it’s helped Kara. It has.

But nothing has been able to stop ever-growing chasm in her chest that had cracked into being the moment Alex had moved out of their apartment, only to disappear altogether.

Even if Kara could find her, they couldn’t be together. Kara and J’onn had both examined the DEO doctor’s findings.

*

“Supergirl?”

Kara blinks and turns away from the monitors she hadn’t really been seeing. It’s Dr. Alei, and Kara offers the diminutive woman a gentle smile. “Doctor. How can I help you?”

Dr. Alei’s worried expression wavers for a moment as she reflexively returns the smile. “I’m afraid I have some news.”

“News?” Kara straightens and crosses her arms. Dr. Alei had been the one who had authorized the tests on Alex, and had later been compelled to share the results to J’onn when Alex seemed to have disappeared off of the face of the earth.

“As you’re aware, I’ve been running some simulations based on the matter we discussed before. At the time of my initial findings, I was confident that leaving the foreign material in place was the better of the two options, but I’m afraid my position has changed. You need to find Agent Danvers, and soon.” Dr. Alei shifts her weight from foot to foot.

Kara’s heart begins pounding erratically in her chest. She takes a subconscious step forward. “Why?”

Dr. Alie moistens her lips and looks away, visibly bracing herself. “The timetable for the radiation poisoning was off. Way off. We hadn’t encountered silver kryptonite much before, so we weren’t entirely certain of its properties bu--”

“How long does she have?” Kara asks around the panic that’s rising in her throat.

“It’s been months already, I...a matter of weeks. If that. We need to remove that fragment as soon as possible.” Dr. Alei’s face is pinched with worry.

Kara takes a step closer, staring down hard at the doctor. “If I find her now, would you be able to save her?”

Dr. Alei let’s out a slow breath, her dark eyes briefly closing. “Honestly? I don’t know. Best case scenario, she’s paralyzed after the surgery. Worst...well. She’s definitely going to die if I don’t at least try.”

The world becomes sharper around Kara then, her vision focusing on everything in hyper-detail. Sounds become louder, with far off echoes of the ocean and cities hundreds of miles away clamoring in Kara’s head.

Kara has run out of time to try and fix herself. She can’t afford to let Alex stay away a moment longer. The doctor is forgotten as she speeds her way to J’onn’s office.

*

Alex’s breathing is labored as she rests on her side. She hadn’t made it to the bathroom again last night as the bile had risen, and she’s grateful she’d thought to put the metal bucket near her bedside.

She chuckles, a coarse sound as she tries to slowly and painfully roll onto her back. Alex is so weak and dizzy that it’s hard to string two thoughts together.

She’s going to die here, alone in a cabin in the woods, and no one will ever know. It’s fitting, she thinks.

“Alex Danvers will die as unremark-ably as she lived.” The words are difficult to get out, but Alex takes care to enunciate. Someone should say _something_ at her funeral, she thinks darkly.

Shifting positions and speaking has tired her, and her eyes begin to droop almost immediately. Part of her wants to fight to stay awake, that tiny bit of her that’s always tried so hard to stay alive for Kara. But she’s tired. So tired.

Her eyelids flutter closed just as the front door crashes open.

She’s dimly aware of her name being called out, but she doesn’t have the energy to open her eyes.

*

Kara paces around the hospital bed, knowing that she shouldn’t but unable to stop herself. Alex has been sleeping too long. They’d pumped her with experimental treatments derived from an alien species with accelerated healing properties, something Alex herself had done work on.

Dr. Alei had started the surgery as soon as Alex was stable.

Alex has been unconscious for four days. Kara hasn’t stayed away for a single one.

Despite everything that had happened between them, Kara can’t let Alex wake up alone.

She refuses to think of any possibility except Alex waking up.

An odd sound makes Kara pause. She turns to the bed. Alex’s eye are open, though just barely.

Alex opens her mouth, and Kara hears the sound again. She takes a shuddering breath and rushes forward. “Doctor!” she near-shouts as she reaches Alex.

It takes her a moment to understand that Alex is having trouble speaking after so long, and Kara speeds away to find some ice.

She frowns when she returns and Dr. Alei still hasn’t arrived. “Have a little of this,” she says to Alex as she helps Alex sit up and offers a little of the ice chips.

Alex is looking slightly more alert as the ice melts and she swallows. “Kara,” she slurs, “not safe.”

Kara laughs as her eyes well with moisture. “Always looking out for me. It’s okay, Alex. They removed the fragment. You were getting too sick too fast, they had to.”

“Alive?” Alex asks after a slow blink.

Kara wipes at her face. “Yes. You’re alive.” Her eyes travel down the length of Alex’s body. “The doctor said there’s a good chance that--”

“ _Alive_ ,” Alex repeats slowly. Her eyes are glittering with emotion.

It takes Kara a moment to realize that the trembling in Alex’s hand is from her sister attempting to raise it. She swallows and smiles, tenderly bringing Alex’s hand up to cup her cheek.

“Alive,” Kara affirms in a whisper as she turns her head to place a delicate kiss to Alex’s palm.

No matter what happens, Alex is right. They’re both alive, and they’re together. They can figure out anything else. Together.

She doesn’t move from her position as Dr. Alei enters the room. Nothing will keep her and Alex away from each other again.


	35. Seven Devils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end, there's only one thing left to do. (Angst)

* * *

Alex blinks up into the brightness of morning, her eyes gritty. She grimaces as she sits, clutching her side and furious at the failings of her body.

The building she’s in is long abandoned, thick with dust and debris. Her eyes find the crumbling bits of wall that have brought sunlight into her temporary home.

For a moment when the warmth of light brushes on her face, she can only remember the smell of freshly cut grass and Kara’s laughter, of how when they were teenagers Kara would run so fast with her arms out that Alex knew it would only be a matter of time before she took flight.

Alex turns her head and the warmth is gone.

She won’t think about it, not now. Not when she needs to get moving soon. Cadmus agents are out looking for her in droves, and there’s still something Alex needs to do.

For a moment she allows herself to worry about J’onn - he’d been fighting off a cadre of sleeper agents at the DEO when she and Kara had responded to…

Alex squeezes her eyes shut and clenches her fists, trying to keep the memory from surfacing. It’s a futile effort. The sun had glistened almost painfully against Kara’s hair, even as she’d fallen several stories to crash against the street.

She’d been so still, so quiet, the crimson trickling from her mouth and ears shocking against her pale skin.

Alex had just a moment to check for signs of life, and then the sounds of gunfire had penetrated the fog surrounding her - but not before a bullet had done the same to her side.

Kara still hadn’t moved, eyes open and blindly staring upward.

It would have been easy to give up then, to lie down next to her and welcome the oblivion of death.

Though nearly every fiber in Alex’s being had urged her to do just that - what was life without Kara - something had her painfully ducking and shuffling away.

It had only been after Alex had stolen some supplies to patch herself up that she’d realized what that something was. Perhaps the shock had been too much, had left her unable to process anything with the memory of Kara falling so suddenly from the sky.

In the quiet moments before Alex had begun to cry, she’d been overwhelmed with an explosive need for vengeance. She’d screamed and laid waste to the derelict furniture that had remained in the old office warehouse, driving her fist through a glass pane before finally calming.

They’d been betrayed. Even entry level agents had access to the basic data they’d collected on most alien species. The data had no doubt been crucial in Cadmus’s manufacture of the weapons made to hit Kara with bursts of concentrated EM radiation attuned to Rao.

She’ll never forget the sound of Kara’s screams as the weapons had been put to use.

Alex hadn’t been quick enough, only managing to take out two of the operatives wielding the destructive weapons before the damage had been too much, and Kara had lost her rightful place in the sky.

In the wee hours of the morning after the fall of Supergirl, Agent Alex Danvers of the DEO had devised a plan.

She smiles to herself, a morbid thing she’s glad no one can see. She’d only grudgingly allowed her body to rest, acknowledging that her plan couldn’t succeed if she could barely walk straight.

“Soon,” she mutters as she raises a hand up to play in the sunlight. She ignores the dried red clinging to her skin, instead admiring the golden warmth as it dances over her fingertips.

*

Alex’s plan is simplified when coded messages to the DEO facility fail to hail an appropriate response. She knows that Cadmus has infiltrated, is probably pulling the place apart in an effort to uncover the countless secrets the DEO has been hiding.

Though Cadmus might have control of the facility now, they haven’t had it long enough to uncover _all_ its secrets.

She navigates the hidden entrances and narrow maintenance corridors with a cold determination. If the remaining DEO agents have been remanded into some of the old holding cells Alex will have a problem - but she hopes their security countermeasures will be enough to have held off Cadmus’s access.

The sleeper agents wouldn’t have been able to maintain high security clearances, not with J’onn’s mind-reading abilities. At least, that’s what Alex hopes.

She has to stop several times, the raging inferno of her need for vengeance tempered only by the thought that Kara would want her to save as many of their people as possible.

A small access panel has her breathing a sigh of relief, though the huddled mass of DEO agents in the mess hall also complicates her plans. Maybe if she can seal the vents…

She nods to herself as she makes a decision, focusing again on the panel in an effort to find one last important person. Her heart pounds when she finds him tucked away in Jemm’s old cell. J’onn will be safe in there.

Alex can’t keep the grim smile from her face, delighting in how easy the Cadmus idiots have made this for her.

It takes time to seal the vents to the mess hall, but now so close to her goal, Alex is patient.

A timed charge will blow the door after the purge protocol has had the chance to do a full cycle, and Alex’s compatriots will know what to do from there.

Alex takes a deep breath, reveling in the churning fury that she allows to rise.

She finds the Cadmus director in J’onn’s office. Alex doesn’t know her name, but she does know the face. It’s enough for Alex to press the remote to activate the purge protocol.

“Director,” Alex says pleasantly.

The woman turns with a scowl, but Alex’s gun is already trained on her.

“You,” the director snarls.

“Me,” Alex concedes with a nod as she shoots the director once in the knee.

The director cries out, but Alex continues. She doesn’t have long. Three more shots ring out in succession, and Alex is left staring down at the screaming woman.

Enemy agents are at the door to J’onn’s office, but Alex has damaged the security panel.

Their efforts mean nothing anyway.

Alex tilts her head up when she catches the first faint scents of chemicals.

The facility purge has begun.

Alex closes her eyes and waits, a tear her escaping her eyes even as she smiles.

*

When Alex opens her eyes next, she’s surrounded by warmth and light.

“Alex,” a soft voice says a moment before there’s a gentle hand cupping her face.

It’s so bright that Alex has to blink a few times for her eyes to adjust, but then she’s sobbing.

“Kara,” she whispers when the tears have slowed.

Kara smiles, looking serene as she pulls Alex into a tight embrace.

Alex tucks her face against her hair, enjoying the familiar scent and the calming sound of Kara’s cape fluttering in the wind. She’s warm and cold at the same time, but at peace.

She wants to say something, and so she leans back to look up at Kara.

Alex opens her mouth, but Kara shakes her head.

There’s tears shimmering in her lively blue eyes, and then Kara ducks her head down to press her lips gently to Alex’s.

The warm light around them intensifies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been having a dry spell with creativity, and so when I asked some friends and supporters for suggestions for ficlets, they gave me a few ideas. Unfortunately while I was writing the first of those altogether lighthearted things, this song came on. I adore writing to it, but the stories always come out as angsty revenge things. Oops.


	36. The Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy thinks Alex has some explaining to do. (Comedy/Drama)

* * *

Alex squints down at her sandwich, wondering what Kara has put together for her this time. Most of the time Alex loves Kara’s creations, but once in a while…

“I saw you talking with Supergirl earlier.”

The non sequitur pulls Alex’s attention from her lunch. She raises her eyebrows at Lucy. “And?”

Lucy gives her a hard look before scooping up another forkful of rice. “And, I don’t think it’s professional of you to be so _close_ with her.”

Alex slowly leans back into her chair as she examines how stern Lucy looks, emphasized by her DEO uniform. “What’s up, Luce? I thought you were cool with Supergirl now.”

“I am. Mostly.” Lucy stares down at her rice and twirls her fork. She glances back up. “I’m glad you and Kara have been so welcoming to me. I was out of sorts after James and I broke up. You’ve both made me feel at home here.”

 _Shit, has she figured out who Kara is_? Alex’s mind races. Kara has been wanting to tell Lucy herself, especially since they’d become Lucy’s de facto friends after the breakup. It isn’t uncommon for Lucy to join them a few times a week for shows and takeout, and in turn Lucy has treated them out to drinks and good music.

Alex shifts in her seat and clears her throat. “Kara wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Lucy’s head bobs. She purses her lips before squinting over at Alex. “I know how you feel about Supergirl.”

“Uh, what?” It’s only years at the DEO that keep Alex from exhibiting the visible tells of her surprise.

“I see how you look at her, Alex. It’s the same way Kara looks at you.”

“What?” Alex repeats, eyes now wide.

“Alex,” Lucy says with a sigh, “how many times have you cancelled on Kara because of some emergency with _Supergirl_?”

Alex is an intelligent woman, but it takes her a moment to piece together the parts of Lucy’s statements. It’s crazy, she thinks, how Lucy has gotten this so wrong. “No, no. It’s really not what you think. I love Supergirl, but not like you’re thi--”

“Agent Danvers, Agent Lane, you’re needed in the control room,” a fresh faced agent cuts in from the door to the mess hall.

They’re out of their seats before the agent can finish. Though Alex wants to continue their discussion (although maybe a huge part of her also definitely does _not_ want to do that), all personal thoughts are pushed aside for the impending mission.

*

Alex forgets about the conversation in the rush of activity afterward - that is, until, the alien they’re chasing down is in custody and she’s grinning over at Kara in her Supergirl guise.

She catches Lucy’s glare out of the corner of her eye and immediately coughs into her fist, giving Kara a warning look.

Kara seems confused, stepping closer to bump her shoulder against Alex’s.

Alex swallows at their sudden close proximity, trying to ignore Lucy’s now more intense stare.

She wants to say something, but then Lucy’s maneuvering herself so that Supergirl has to take a step back.

“Don’t you have plans tonight, Agent Danvers?” Lucy enunciates loudly.

Kara looks back at Lucy with a frown, and then Alex is clearing her throat and nodding.

“Right, yeah. Thanks for all your help, Supergirl. I need to wrap things up here.”

She scurries away before either Lucy or Kara can say anything.

Kara needs to hurry up and tell Lucy so they can clear a few things up. Though, Alex isn’t certain why Lucy would think that Kara looks at her in a way that--Alex stops herself. She doesn’t want to let the thought form.

Kara is supposed to be her sister, after all.

*

If Alex is a little uncomfortable later while she and Kara are cuddled up on the couch together, she doesn’t let it show.

Kara nudges against her shoulder, and a second later her forehead is resting against Alex’s neck.

“Hey,” Kara says after a moment, “what’s wrong? Your heart is pounding like crazy. Kinda distracting.”

Alex moistens her lips and stares at the screen, trying to get into “Homeland” though she hasn’t caught a word from the first fifteen minutes. “Are you going to tell Lucy soon?” she finally asks. She doesn’t want to mention anything else, and she doesn’t want to lie.

Kara pauses the show and sits up, her hands fidgeting with the remote. “Tell her, uh, what?”

Alex sighs and meets her eyes. “About Supergirl.”

“Oh, right! That.” Kara’s eyes drop back to the remote.

“Yes, that,” Alex says slowly. Kara had seemed genuinely surprised.

Alex angles her head to try and catch Kara’s gaze. “What else would you need to tell her about?” She considers the other secrets Kara’s been keeping from Lucy. “That you had a crush on James once? You don’t need to tell her that.”

“Right, yeah, no.” Kara’s head nods and then shakes from side to side. She still won’t look up.

Something tightens in Alex’s chest, and then she’s tugging Kara into a side hug. “Don’t worry so much. Lucy knows us. Things will be fine. I’m not trying to pressure you into telling her, I just think that it’s a good idea.”

“No, yeah, I know you’re right. I feel awkward keeping this from her for so long. I’m not built to keep these kind of secrets.”

Kara’s voice is slightly offkey, making Alex pull her closer. “She’ll understand. Even if she doesn’t, you’ve always got me on your team.”

“Yeah,” Kara says softly.

Alex can hear the smile in her voice, even if she can’t see it. There’s a warm tingle in her chest, and she revels in the strength of their bond for a few heartbeats.

“Now, come on, these shows aren’t gonna watch themselves.”

Kara pushes play, and Alex ignores the giddy feeling in her stomach when Kara laces their fingers together.

*

Alex is typing up a report when the door to her office is unceremoniously shoved open.

“It all makes sense now!” Lucy declares.

Alex grunts and attempts to finish typing out her thought. She hates the paperwork involved with her work, but it can’t be helped.

“Kara’s Supergirl!”

The words do make Alex pause, though only briefly. She and Kara had discussed the revelation, and Alex is aware that Kara had been planning to reveal the truth today. She’s almost finished with her report, Lucy’s reaction can wait.

“I take back everything I said before. You’re perfectly within your rights to make googly eyes at Supergirl - though, if you want her identity _and_ your relationship to remain a secret, you should really watch that.”

The cursor blinks ominously at Alex. She carefully looks up at Lucy. “What?”

“The sister cover is pretty good though, I’ll admit,” Lucy continues as if she hasn’t heard Alex.

“ _What_?” Alex squeaks out.

Her office door opens again as someone comes in, though Lucy seems unaware.

“I’m just saying, it’s pretty clear to everyone that you and Kara are kinda crazy in love.”

Alex can only stare at the door - and Kara.

Kara’s cheeks are flushed and she seems frozen in place, one hand still raised from opening the door.

The room is quiet and still, with only Lucy’s head moving as something dawns on her.

“Oh. _Oh_. I just remembered I need to do something,” Lucy says before she slips from the room.

Alex and Kara are left staring at anywhere but each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend liked Lucy's reaction to Alex's bond with Supergirl in ALLO with regards to Kara, and requested a similar little anecdote. I was happy to oblige. :)


	37. Not the Same 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where the first part left off. (Drama/Fluff)

* * *

The problem with trying to chase after Kara, Alex considers, is that it’s an impossible feat if it’s not something Kara wants.

She sighs and tucks her hands into her pockets, glancing up toward stars she can’t see. Kara could be anywhere. It doesn’t help that Kara’s taken to flying around when she’s upset.

Alex knows that, for the moment, Kara is out of reach.

She could cry out for Kara, maybe, or head to the DEO and get Vasquez to pin down Kara’s location. Neither option seems right.

Her jaw works as she considers the night-darkened streets.

Alex can’t fly, but she might need time to mull over the night. Maybe the time apart now is good for them. Somehow.

She knows National City well, having patrolled its streets as many times as she’s scoured it for traces of deadly aliens. She doesn’t hesitate to take the first step. A walk could do her some good.

Alex spares a thought for Clark, but he should be fine tucked away in her apartment.

 _“It’s never been about your room, or your apartments,” Kara declares in a low voice. “It’s about_ you _. It’s always been about you.”_

_“Kara?” Alex hopes she doesn’t sound as confused as she feels. She cautiously moves around so she can look at Kara._

_“I love you, Alex.” The word are almost fierce, though Kara still won’t look up from the ground._

_“Kara, you know I lo--”_

_Alex’s words stutter to a halt when Kara is suddenly surging forward, her hand rising to lightly grip Alex’s head._

_Breathing is impossible as Kara leans in for a kiss, and Alex squeezes her eyes shut._

_“It’s not the same,” Kara says sadly._

Alex chuckles to herself, not amused in the least. She shakes her head. How long has Kara felt this way - felt the same as Alex? If she considers what Kara has said-- _jesus_.

Since high school? Her stomach twists and she hunches her shoulders.

High school had been...difficult. Kara had been a stranger that Alex didn’t know what to do with, had no patience for. Then just when they’d begun to grow closer, and maybe Alex had realized she felt too much for the new addition to the Danvers household, her mom had begun dropping the s-bomb casually around the house. A lot.

It had been a confusing time for Alex - and maybe Kara, too.

_Alex grimaces and dodges a couple making out in the middle of the hallway. Once she might have smiled to herself and giggled, but not now. She was a long way from being a freshman, and she’d realized that kissing boys wasn’t really all that it was cracked up to be._

_She’s almost free of the purgatory that is high school, with only a few months left to go before she’s off to Stanford. She’s so ready to go, it’s all she can do most days not to claw her own skin off._

_A quick glance at the hallway clock confirms that she’s got plenty of time before the lunch period ends, and she considers slipping off to the relative peace of the library._

_“Come on, really? I just want to get to my locker.”_

_Alex stops in her tracks, knowing Kara’s voice anywhere, even in the noisy chaos of the hall during lunch. Her jaw works as she looks for Kara. Kara would just have come from Biology, and her locker is at the other end of the school so--_

_“Why are you in such a hurry? I just want to see your notes.” The dark haired boy grins down at Kara, moving every time Kara makes as if to go around him._

_Alex grips her books tighter and clenches her teeth. Thankfully, Kara hardly ever had to face any bullying these days, having won most people over with her cheerful disposition._

_Every once in a while though…_

_“Hey,” Alex says a moment before she taps the boy’s shoulder._

_Jake turns with a roll of his eyes. “The other Danvers. It’s creepy how you stalk each other. Say, do you two still share a room?”_

_“Step off, Jake, or I’ll make you,” Alex replies flatly. She’s heard it all by now, and far worse than the greasy haired would-be baseball player could manage on his best day._

_“Alex,” Kara breathes out with that special smile that makes Alex feel warm from the inside out. She almost forgets about Jake._

_“Sure you don’t wanna bang your sister, Danvers? You could be the daddy, and she could be the momm--”_

_But Alex doesn’t let him finish, instead gripping his shoulder and thrusting her knee upward into his groin. She feels a cold satisfaction watching him fall, even as her stomach roils at what he’s implied. Her own conflicted feelings only make things worse, and she tries to forget how happy Kara’s smiles make her. It’s her fault people say these kinds of things about them, her fault Kara is still a target._

_She’s too aware of Kara next to her, and the disjointed feelings have Alex stepping forward to nudge Jake with her foot. “Leave my_ sister _alone.”_

Had Kara known then? Had school and Alex’s reactions just made everything...worse?

It had certainly felt worse to Alex. High school hadn’t been all bad, but the worst had always seemed to outweigh the best parts. Though, Alex pauses and does smile, Kara had always been a beacon of happiness in a sea of uncertainty - even when she was the cause for uncertainty. Alex wouldn’t trade getting to see Kara experience so many new things for anything else in the world.

High school had just been the beginning.

_“You sure you wanna do this?” Alex asks as she tugs a hand through her hair. It’s been getting longer than usual, but she’s not sure she hates it._

_Kara gnaws at her lower lip and reaches out to play with the tips of Alex’s hair. “No. Yes. I don’t know. I feel better going with you my first time.”_

_There’s an odd feeling in Alex’s chest that she ignores, just as much as she tries to ignore how warm Kara’s fingertips are as they brush against her arm. “Maybe I’d feel better going with you, too,” Alex admits. “Maybe you’ll hate them as much as you did high school parties.”_

_“Maybe,” Kara says with a laugh. “But the people here don’t really know us. Me. They can’t be jerks in the same way.”_

_Alex loves the way Kara’s nose crinkles when she smiles. She’s missed that. “Well, come on then.”_

_Taking Kara’s hand is natural, even moreso now that they’re no longer in Midvale. Alex has been enjoying Kara’s visit more than she’ll admit out loud to anyone (except maybe Kara herself). Her right hand squeezes Kara’s unconsciously._

_They make it to the door unscathed, pounding music audible even before it’s opened. She recognizes Matt from her microbiology class immediately, his shirt disheveled as he leans back against the wall of the entryway._

_“Alex! Glad you could make it!” he shouts to be heard over the music. If his slow blinking and the smell wafting from his general direction is anything to go by, he’s already had plenty to drink._

_“Thanks for inviting me.” Alex grins, excited without knowing why._

_“Who’s your friend?” Matt asks as he squints at Kara._

_Kara straightens and offers her right hand. Her left remains in Alex’s. “Kara Danvers.”_

_Matt shakes her hand and looks at Alex, then down at their hands. “Danvers? Oh, you’re, ohhhh.”_

_Alex’s heart begins to pound erratically. She lets go of Kara’s hand. “Sisters.”_

_She can’t look over at Kara. She needs a drink._

When Alex looks up, she’s unsurprised to find herself standing outside Kara’s apartment building. Her old apartment building. She licks her lips as she stares upward.

Will Kara stay away if she finds Alex waiting? Alex hopes not. There’s too many questions running around in her head, but more than that, she and Kara have missed out on something for too long. Not that their bond isn’t enough - it certainly is - but to know that they’ve both wanted the same thing for so long is...well.

Alex’s chest aches as she tugs her keys out from her pockets. She bites her lip and smiles, her eyes stinging as she separates out the one for the building. Kara had insisted she keep it.

_“What? No. I’ve had the key here forever. There’s no way you’re giving yours back.” Kara pauses and shifts the cardboard box to her hip. “This place will always be yours too, Alex.”_

_There’s something caught in Alex’s throat. She swallows it down. “You sure?”_

_Kara laughs and sets her box down, turning so she can reach out to play with Alex’s hair._

_Goosebumps prick Alex’s skin. She’s glad she hasn’t gotten that haircut she’s been thinking about. “You might regret saying that.”_

_The elevator sways as it ascends, and Alex is glad she’d thought to put her own box down. There’s something about the way the Kara looks in the soft overhead light in a stolen Stanford sweater and ripped jeans._

_Kara takes a half step closer, and the elevator pings and the doors open._

_Alex jolts backward and picks up her box, recognizing the stern face of one of her oldest sort-of neighbors. “Mrs. Jenkins,” Alex says with a stiff nod._

_The woman, slightly hunched with age and wearing thick glasses, steps into the elevator._

_“What floor?” Kara asks kindly when she sees the gnarled hands._

_Alex has to suppress a smile, especially when she sees Mrs. Jenkins’s eyes widen._

_“Eighteen. Just had a visit with Mildred on fourth. She’s a horrible gossip, you know,” comes Mrs. Jenkins’s gruff voice._

_“I’ll keep that in mind,” Kara says with her smile still in place. “Oh, I should introduce myself! I’m Kara Danvers. I’m moving in.”_

_Mrs. Jenkins’s eyes narrow. The overhead lights make her seem menacing. “Danvers? You girls some of those lesbians?”_

_Alex straightens with a scowl. “Mrs.--”_

_“Can’t stand men myself. Good thinking. At least you’re polite, dear,” Mrs. Jenkins says._

_When Alex glances over at Kara, their eyes meet._

_Kara cheeks are flushed, and then she looks pointedly away from Alex. “Thank you, Mrs. Jenkins, but we’re sisters.”_

_Alex nods along reflexively and winces. Her hair’s gotten caught between her arm and the box. She stares down at the cardboard, her eyes oddly stinging. It’s time for a haircut._

Kara’s apartment is warm and comfortable, even with Alex’s stomach tied up in knots. It’s tempting to grab a bottle of something Kara stashes away just for her, but Alex resists.

She wants to be perfectly clear-headed when Kara shows up.

The first hour is slow, and Alex’s pacing does little more than tire her. It’s late, and so she settles down on the couch. It’s comfortable, safe, and warm. Her head droops.

*

Alex awakes with a sharp inhale, not sure what’s woken her but suddenly alert. Something’s different. The apartment is dark, though starting to lighten. There’s a shadow out of place near the veranda.

“Kara,” she says as she stands, wanting to rush forward but also not wanting to force Kara _away_ again.

Kara’s silhouette remains motionless.

Alex swallows and clenches her hands into fists, trying to stop them from shaking. “Kara, you left before we could talk.”

When Kara steps forward, Alex’s eyes scour her face for any hints of how she’s feeling. There are slight bags under Kara’s eyes and her mouth is pinched. She looks tired. Resigned.

“What’s there to talk about? You’ve always made it clear how you felt since we were kids. I don’t know why I said anything now. It was stupid.” Kara shuffles forward, but stops before she reaches Alex and the couch.

It’s all Alex needs. She stands and reaches for Kara without hesitation. “No, I haven’t. Kara, what I feel for you - it’s...it’s,” she swallows, realizing that for the first time she’s going to be honest about something she’s lied about for a decade. “The same. I love you.”

Kara frowns, a bewildered look in her eyes.

For the first time in her life, Alex doesn’t think about why she shouldn’t lean forward to kiss Kara.

She raises her hand to cup Kara’s face, her chest tight as she closes her eyes. She can feel the warmth of Kara’s face so close to her own.

A hand at her chest halts her forward movement. “Wait, no. Stop.”

The words shock Alex’s eyes open, and she takes a step back and tries to ignore the eruption of doubts in her mind. She’s conditioned herself not to _want_ Kara, and she curls her arms around herself. “Sorry, I, I thought.” Alex isn’t sure what she thought. She’s confused, but she respects the power of _no_. She would never pressure Kara.

She fights the urge to retreat further, knowing that she and Kara still need to talk. Still, she finds it hard to look Kara in the eye.

“Alex you’re, you’re not doing this because you feel obligated to, right?” Kara’s voice breaks.

It’s enough for Alex to finally meet her gaze. Kara looks ready to cry - desperate, hopeful.

Alex’s own hope is a sharp pain in her chest, jarring and unsettling until she comprehends she _hadn’t_ been wrong. It’s hard to ignore over a decade of conditioning, of pushing her feelings away, she realizes.

She relaxes her hands and again cups Kara’s face, waiting for Kara to really _look_ at her.

“I’m doing this because I _need_ to. I’m doing this because,” her breathing hitches as tears prick her eyes, “because this is what I’ve wanted to do for as nearly as long as you’ve been in my life. I _love_ you, Kara.”

This time, it’s Kara that pulls her closer and leans in, and Alex holds her breath until their lips finally meet. The contact is sweet and soft, and she’s overwhelmed by the power of their bond and warm tension in her abdomen.

Her eyelids flutter closed as Kara pulls minutely back only to kiss her again, and then Alex is lost in the wonder of kissing Kara. She isn’t sure when soft kisses become searching, wanting something more, something deeper.

Kara’s hands are in her hair and they’re braced against the wall, chests heaving and foreheads pressed together when the sound of a throat clearing has Alex blinking and reaching for her gun.

“Jeepers, I’m sorry,” Clark says loudly, wincing almost immediately. His clothes are rumpled from sleep, and there’s tape holding his glasses together at the nosepiece. “I, uh, woke up at Alex’s and I had this horrible headache and I...I, s-sorry.”

Alex bites the inside of her cheek when Kara turns so that she’s shielding Alex’s body from sight, hurriedly tucking her shirt in and shifting her weight from foot to foot in an effort to regain her balance. She’s dizzy from kissing Kara, and perhaps on another day she might be embarrassed.

“I, um,” Kara falter and fidgets with her cape.

Alex takes a deep breath and steps around Kara, immediately tangling their hands together. “It’s okay, Clark.”

Clark has the decency to blush and attempt to adjust his horribly wrinkled tie. “So you two _are_ , uh--”

“Yes,” Alex replies immediately.

A gentle squeezing of her hand has Alex looking back to Kara, and the wonder she finds there makes Alex want to kiss Kara all over again.

Clark coughs loudly. “I think, I’ll uh, just go sleep the rest of this off at your place if you don’t mind, Alex.”

“Yeah,” Alex murmurs, “good idea.” She’s not paying attention to Clark, and doesn’t notice when he leaves.

“Things aren’t going to be the same ever again, huh?” Kara whispers just before their lips meet.

“No.” Alex waits, needing to kiss Kara but wanting that last confirmation that this _is_ what Kara wants too.

“Good.” Kara’s lips quirk up in the barest of smiles before she closes the last bit of distance between her and Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned previously, I've been going through a dry spell with creativity. I knew I wanted to follow up to the first part of this, but it was a very intangible desire. One of my supporters had recently suggested a "five times people assumed that Kara and Alex were married, and one time they didn't have to assume" fic, and I was open to that (though I'm certain that's probably been done several times). I couldn't pull quite the inspiration for either, but when I sort of combined the ideas, it worked!
> 
> A follow up with three times people assumed Alex and Kara were a couple, and the one time no assumptions were necessary.


	38. At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a loose sequel to [Secret Valentine](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9488681). Fairly safe work, though there is some drama/angst and foul language.

* * *

Kara is subdued as she steps into Alex’s apartment.

Alex releases a frustrated sigh behind her, and a second later she hears the clatter of keys as Alex tosses them onto the counter.

There’s a soft click and then the dim interior of the apartment is filled with warm orange light.

Kara doesn’t move, her hands interlaced tightly in front of herself.

Their first date, to put it mildly, had not gone well.

“I’m sorry.” Alex sounds angry, her voice low and rough.

“It’s--”

“Don’t say it’s _okay_. It’s not. I screwed this up. I lost my temper.”

The anger sounds more like frustration now, and Kara knows that every bit of it is being directed inward. She turns, only to catch Alex rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hand.

Kara’s immediate instinct is to pull Alex into a hug. It’s almost painful not to do so, but she knows Alex needs a few moments to calm down - to stop punishing herself.

The draw to Alex is strong, and so she moves so that she’s standing across from her. The counter is between them. It’s not what she wants, but it is what Alex needs.

“Alex,” she begins in a gentle voice, “it really is okay. You know, that you--I mean not only did you _ask_ me, but you went to all this effort and I can tell how much you really wanted this to work! It’s,” Kara pauses, a smile blossoming on her face. “Even if the date didn’t go well at the end, all of that? It means a lot to me.”

Alex ducks her head down, her short hair falling forward to partially block her face.

Kara is both saddened at the movement and elated that Alex’s newly shorn locks aren’t nearly as effective at hiding her away as her once-long hair.

It’s safe, Kara thinks, to reach across for Alex’s hand. Her lips part; it never ceases to amaze her how a simple touch to Alex’s skin makes her feel.

“Alex, you’ve always looked out for me. You’ve always done your best to make sure I was content, if not happy. I think, well, you kind of set yourself up to fail on this one.”

“What?” Alex asks sharply, her head whipping up.

Kara nibbles at her lower lip before meeting Alex’s eyes. “You did. Before this, you couldn’t even _talk_ about us going on a date in public without almost having a panic attack. And, Alex, I love you, but I think you put too much pressure on yourself making our first real date for _Valentine’s Day_.”

Though Alex’s hand shifts under hers, she’s careful to keep a light contact. Her persistence is rewarded only seconds later when Alex tangles their fingers together.

“You think so, huh?” Alex’s voice is so low that it’s only Kara’s superior hearing that picks it up. There’s tears shimmering in Alex’s eyes threatening to fall; it and the rueful smile on her face make Kara’s chest ache.

“I do.”

Even though everything had gone wrong the moment Alex had run into some people she knew from college - people that knew they were supposed to be _sisters_ \- Kara is still feeling a little floaty from their night.

Alex had made plans, starting with bringing Kara an exquisite bouquet of flowers (and a cruller) and taking Kara to their favorite (though definitely _not cheap_ ) restaurant. They’d been walking to the next _secret_ location of their date hand-in-hand when the somewhat rowdy and definitely intoxicated group of Alex’s old drinking buddies had spotted them.

Maybe it had hurt a little when Alex dropped her hand, but she’d understood. Things are complicated. _They’re_ complicated. It had been worse seeing Alex trying to act normal, only for one of Alex’s friends to casually make a joke about her being lonely enough to date her _sister_.

Watching Alex blow up and then burst into tears had been heart-rending. Kara knows that Alex’s friends really hadn’t meant anything by it.

She watches as Alex’s shoulders hunch in an attempt to retreat into herself, though her fingers remain entwined with Kara’s.

“I just wanted it to be special. I wanted you to know how special I think you are. You’re...amazing and bright and beautiful and I can’t imagine my life without you in it. But I messed it up, like I’m always messing things up--”

“ _Alex_.”

It’s enough to make Alex stop, her teeth gritted together almost punishingly tight. After a few beats she attempts to speak, her lips trembling as she tries to pull careful breaths in through her mouth. “I was going to dance with you in the park. I had this little spot picked out. I…”

Kara sucks in an uneven breath. Her senior prom, when Eliza insisted she _had_ to go, she’d spent the entire night wishing she’d had he courage to ask Alex to go with her. Just _one_ dance would have been enough.

The old wish is not something she’s ever voiced, so she’s certain Alex can’t know what that might mean to her. Not fully.

She swallows. “C-could we still dance? Just here. Just...you and me?”

Alex slowly looks up, the self disgust fading from her features. Her eyes scour Kara’s face for a moment, searching for what, Kara isn’t sure.

When Alex lets go of her hand, Kara can only hold her breath. Alex takes her time stepping around the counter.

“Come on,” Alex says as she reaches out with both hands. Her voice is strong, her eyes steady. The sudden confidence is hypnotizing.

Kara takes her hands in a daze. She can still make out the faint marks left by Alex’s tears.

But Alex’s hands are sure as she carefully backs them up so they’re standing out on the small balcony.

It doesn’t occur to Kara to inquire about music. Before she can even have the thought, Alex begins humming.

The hum becomes a murmur, and then Alex is singing and looking right at Kara.

The song is familiar, and Kara is torn between laughing and crying.

_At last_  
_My love has come along_  
_My lonely days are over  
_ _And life is like a song_

It’s cheesy, maybe. Corny.

But as Alex moves them in a slow circle, Kara is overcome with emotion. Her skin feels electrified and her chest is tight, and she has to bury her face against Alex’s neck or she might burst into tears.

The moment is more than she’d ever allowed herself to hope for.

“Are you alright, Kara?” Alex asks once she’s finished the song.

Kara nods against her neck, not wanting to move.

Alex’s hands stroke her back in soothing waves. “Hey, come on,” she says gently, “you’re worrying me a little. What is it?”

A crush of words flood Kara’s mind. She’s loved Alex for so long. _So long_. She’d never dared to dream of having anything like this. It had been impossible.

She shifts just enough so she can look into the warm hazel of Alex’s eyes. She smiles in reassurance when Alex notices she’s been crying. Saying everything on her mind is too much at the moment, her chest feeling like it’ll split open with the pressure of her feelings all clamoring to be expressed at once.

“It’s perfect,” is all she manages to say.

And maybe there’s something in the way she says it, or maybe it’s something in the way she’s looking at Alex, because then Alex is leaning forward and the moment that’s already perfect becomes something akin to sublime.

They dance on the balcony until Alex’s voice goes hoarse, and some time later when they’re curled in bed and she’s listening to the steady beat of Alex’s heart, Kara knows that anything they have to put up with to be together is worth _this_.

More than that, for the first time she understands that Alex feels the same.

_Kara can feel the panic rise like acid in the back of her throat. She’s too afraid to look over at Alex._

_The good humor flowing through the inebriated bunch dissipates rapidly as Alex remains quiet._

_“You know what? Fuck you! You don’t know shit about me! And yeah, you know what? I_ am _dating my sister. You always were a goddamn asshole.”_

_More is said, many more angry words that Kara wouldn’t dream of repeating, but at the end when Alex is storming away and Kara is rushing after her, she abruptly stops._

_“Come on,” Alex says roughly. Her hand is the opposite of her voice, achingly gentle as she slides it together with Kara’s._

_Kara’s heart pounds. She knows Alex’s once-friends can still see them._

_Though Alex is angry and hurt and many other things, Kara is in awe._

“Good night,” she whispers as Alex presses a kiss to her temple.

She can feel Alex smile against her skin.

She closes her eyes, her own smile firmly in place.


	39. Déjà Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara has a crush on the girl she's shooting a music video with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000% inspired by Hayley Kiyoko's continually gaaaaay music videos. I had gotten Cherry to write a short drabble with this premise before, but then Hayley's latest vid hit and the feelings were stronger than before and I couldn't resist writing.

* * *

Kara settles her hands over her stomach, trying to quell the bout of nervousness that has it churning.

“Is this your first time?” a curious voice asks.

Her face heats up at the question. “Yeah,” she divulges shyly.

A warm hand finds its way to her shoulder, and Kara finds herself facing her sort of co-star.

“Relax,” the woman says, her hazel eyes kind. “You’ll be fine.”

“Right.” Kara nods, her heart pounding and her eyes wide. When the woman laughs, Kara’s glad that she doesn’t know that Kara’s reaction has more to do with _her_ than Kara’s previous nerves.

“I’m Alex,” the woman says with a smile and an extended hand.

“Kara,” Kara says automatically as she accepts the handshake. She hopes Alex doesn’t feel the way her hand is trembling. It’s not her fault that Alex looks incredible in ripped jeans and a snug black tank top.

Alex gives her a curious look. “You the singer?”

Though Kara is certain Alex must _know_ , she nods anyway. “Yeah.”

“Great,” Alex replies with a hint of a smile. “I’ve shot one of these with Winn before, but I knew I wasn’t filming with the artist then. Kind of cool to meet you. After the last vid I checked out your music, and I’m totally a fan.”

Of course, Kara is aware that Winn had chosen Alex for one of her other music videos; she’d been present for the filming for each of the other three. She just hadn’t known Alex’s name.

But the way Alex’s short reddish hair frames her jaw? The way Alex’s nose crinkles when she laughs? Kara had become familiar with both while watching the other video be filmed.

Honestly, she could kill Winn for hiring Alex to film _this_ video.

“S-so you’re okay with what Winn’s got blocked out?” Kara manages to ask around the lump in her throat, ignoring the fact that Alex says she’s a _fan_.

Alex tilts her head and shrugs. “Sure. It’s just a job.” She pauses and scrunches up her nose. “No offense.”

Kara hopes her laugh doesn’t sound as high pitched as it seems. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m not really...I didn’t, that is to say, I wasn’t sure I really wanted this to be the video I debut in. It’s so...personal.”

Though Kara is proud of her music, of her honest lyrics, Winn has picked the most intimate song she’d written to be filmed. She knows he has a good instinct for these things, but Kara still worries.

The song is about Kara’s crush on her best friend from high school, after all.

Her best _girl_ friend.

Alex looks nothing like Felicia, but she makes Kara’s stomach twist up just the same.

It strikes Kara then that maybe Winn is sort of a genius. She’ll have to consider that before she drops him off in the middle of the Mojave Desert.

“It’s a powerful song. A good choice; I think your fans will love it.” Alex seems so sincere that Kara finds herself trying not to blush again.

“Thanks,” Kara mutters, not bothering to rub at her pinkened cheeks.

*

Shooting the music video is tiring, and Kara’s afraid she’ll be sick of her own music before the day finishes. Her own lyrics jar in her ears after too long, the memory of her oldest and strongest crush making her feel odd around Alex.

It doesn’t help that she has to be up close and personal with Alex for so many of the shots. Alex performs her part flawlessly - Kara doesn’t have to act because she finds herself watching the other woman quite without prompting.

As Alex tugs on her arm to pull her down the hall, Kara can’t spare a thought for murdering Winn.

Alex has a teasing smile on her face, and her hands sure on Kara’s arm.

Kara feels like she’s going to have a heart attack because the kiss scene is next - if anyone could listen in on her thoughts, they’d only hear a loud, long screeching sound.

She stumbles when Alex suddenly turns to push her up against the wall, and Kara is painfully aware of the camera that pushes toward their faces.

“Don’t worry,” Alex murmurs as she cups the side of Kara’s face and leans in for the kiss.

Kara forgets all about the camera. Alex’s body is pressed tightly againsther own, but beyond that, Alex is an _amazing_ kisser. Her lips are soft and she smells divine and--

“Cut! Looked good.”

The word is jarring, but Kara is thankful for it.

She blushes as Alex pulls back.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Kara manages to look up, blushing harder when she notices the way Alex’s bottom lip glistens. She studiously focuses on Alex’s eyebrow. It’s safe. Maybe.

“No,” she finally allows.

Alex’s laughter makes goosebumps prickle along Kara’s skin. She finds herself smiling as she admires the line of Alex’s jaw.

“Go with it,” Winn coaxes from somewhere.

Kara isn’t sure what he means, but then Alex is leaning into her again, this time slow and deliberate. Kara can’t hear anything but the roaring her ears, unable to look away until Alex is so close and their lips are touching and she can’t keep her eyes open if she wanted to. Lyrics of her own song filter past the roaring, making her chest feel tight.

When the kiss ends, Kara feels like she’s vibrating with energy, her skin tingling even as remembering to breathe becomes a gargantuan task.

“Perfect,” Winn declares.

It snaps Kara from whatever daze she’s been in, and she opens her eyes.

Alex is again back at a respectable distance, now leaning against the opposite wall of the hallway with her arms crossed as Winn babbles on about something Kara can’t focus on.

She feels vulnerable and raw, but she smiles to cover it. This was a horrible idea, and she hates Winn so much right now. Her eyes prick a little so she breathes carefully until the feeling fades.

Kara’s grateful that they only have one scene left to film, and that she’ll be alone for it. She can only hope that Alex will be gone by the time she finishes, not feeling safe enough after the kiss to pretend like she doesn’t have a crush.

*

The last scene goes better than Winn could hope, though Kara isn’t pleased that she begins crying on camera. She’d gotten caught up in the old feelings mixed with the new as she’d sung along.

“I hate you so much,” Kara says as she wipes her face and pushes past a grinning Winn.

“What? That was so good!” he calls from behind her.

She shakes her head and makes a beeline for the bathroom, breathing a sigh of relief once she clicks the lock into place.

“I knew I forgot something.”

Alex’s voice makes Kara jerk around. Sure enough, Alex is sitting in the bathtub with her knees up and her arms slung over each.

“S-sorry,” Kara stutters out, already turning to find the lock.

“It’s fine. Why don’t you sit for a minute? You look like you need it.”

Kara debates with herself. Sure, Alex is in here, but Winn is out _there_. She sits on the toilet lid against her better judgement. She feels slightly awkward, but at least it’s quiet and she can collect herself.

“Your music is crazy good, you know that?” Alex says after a few minutes have passed in silence.

“Hm?” Kara focuses on her in confusion.

Alex nods, looking down. Her hands are braced against the lip of the bathtub. “Too good. You’re not the only one that had a crush on a friend in high school, you know?” She stares at her hands. “Her name was Vicky. Yours?”

Kara licks her lips, suddenly at ease though not understanding why. “Felicia,” she confesses in a whisper.

“I’ve been over it for a while,” Alex says after another long moment, “but, man. It came roaring back today.”

“I know what you mean, and I wrote the stupid song!” Kara doesn’t admit that Alex might have something to do with it, not wanting to make the moment awkward again.

To her surprise, Alex laughs. Kara bites the inside of her cheek at the sound.

Kara fidgets as Alex shifts and then maneuvers so that she’s seated on the edge of the bathtub rather than inside it. Kara had definitely not been watching the way the muscles in her arms and shoulders shifted under her skin as she’d moved.

“So, um, this might be kind of weird,” Alex says with a nervous chuckle as she pushes some hair out of her face with the back of her hand, “but would you like to hang out sometime?”

“Um, what?” Kara blinks and straightens, her hands squeezing together in her lap almost painfully tight.

Alex looks away and bites her lip, a hint of pink on her cheeks. “Weird feelings about the past aside, I had a lot of fun shooting today, Kara.”

Kara can’t move as Alex looks back and their eyes meet.

“There’s something about you…” Alex’s voice trails off as she studies Kara’s face.

“Yeah?” Kara swallows, feeling inexplicably breathless.

“I don’t know.” Alex forces a laugh and hunches her shoulders, looking down at her shoes. “Am I the only one feeling it?”

It takes Kara several seconds to find her voice. “No. No, you’re not.”

When Alex looks up again, it feels like there’s a riot of butterflies in Kara’s stomach.

Alex’s smile is slow. “So, then...a date?”

“ _God_ , yes.”

Alex’s laugh is so beautiful that Kara doesn’t even mind the way her face feels like it’s on fire.


	40. Déjà Vu 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow up to the previous Déjà Vu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chosen by vote, here we are.

* * *

Kara tightens her hands against her legs, trying not to seem as nervous as she feels as she stares out at the small crowd. The venue itself isn’t overly large, and the tightly packed bodies and ongoing stares are making her feel a little like she can’t breathe.

But these are her fans and she can’t let them down.

“Are you seeing anyone?” comes the question from one of the music bloggers Lucy had invited.

Before she can answer, there’s excited squeals in the crowd. Kara self consciously licks her lips and tucks some hair behind her ear. Her stomach twists uncomfortably and she hesitates.

“Um, technically, no?” she finally manages.

The squeals sound again even louder than before.

Kara shifts on her stool and adjusts the mic, using the movement as an excuse to look away from the assembly. At least there’s no spotlight. She already feels like she’s sweating bullets.

When the din dulls to a more manageable level, the same blogger raises her voice again. “So there’s someone you’re _hoping_ to see?”

Not for the first time, Kara wonders why she agreed to this. It’s fine if people want to talk about her music - or any music, really. All the interest in her personal life though...well, she’d known on an intellectual level that it would happen, but facing it is something altogether different.

She just wishes she had some water because her throat feels as dry as the Sahara. The glass she’d emptied five questions ago taunts her with its hollow state and will provide no respite from the lingering question. “Well,” she begins as she finally gathers the courage to look up again.

And there, just across from where she’s sitting on the stage, is Alex.

“Oh.”

Kara blinks and her lips part; her heart is pounding fast for a different reason now.

Alex smiles, slow and sultry, one hand rising to tug through her chin-length hair. She looks insanely attractive in her usual snug tank top and jeans, and Kara has to remind herself not to stare at the inviting dip of shadow of Alex’s collarbone. Or defined shoulders.

Kara leans forward, unable and unwilling to look away from Alex. “Yes,” she says firmly into the microphone.

She leans back just as quickly when Alex’s smile becomes wicked, her throat working as she swallows.

To her great relief Lucy is walking up the left side of the stage with a fresh glass of water. Kara is in special need of it now.

Lucy smiles out at the crowd as she hands Kara the glass, reaching for the mic as soon as Kara’s claimed the water.

“Thank you so much for your time, everyone,” Lucy says, “but Kara’s got another show tomorrow and as both her friend and manager I’ve got to stop her before she’s up all night talking to you. She can’t let her other fans down!”

The crowd cheers, and Kara gulps down her water gratefully. She isn’t sure what time it is, but Lucy always looks out for her.

She takes the mic back for a last goodbye, sighing her relief as she and Lucy retreat backstage. Her head turns at the last moment, seeking Alex out one last time - and finding her immediately.

The moment she’s alone in her dressing room she tugs her cellphone out of her bag.

‘You came to my show! Why didn’t you tell me?’ she hurriedly types out. She doesn’t press ‘send’ right away, her thumb hovering over the button. Should she even send it?

Though she and Alex had shared a moment at the filming of Kara’s first music video, their mutual interest had never amounted to much more than awkward phone interactions and missed opportunities.

She takes a deep breath and presses the button. Alex had come for a reason.

Kara just hopes that reason is for more than just her music.

*

“Thanks for coming,” Kara says as she slides onto the bench seat. After the performance and questions, her voice sounds a little rough. She hopes Alex doesn’t mind.

The diner is one Kara is familiar with, one she’d actually written a few songs in on restless nights with the company of coffee and heaps of standard diner fare.

Alex looks around the dated interior curiously; the black and white checkerboard style floor is faded but clean, and the red vinyl of the seats are worn but astonishingly comfortable. She nods and probably comes to the same conclusion Kara had - the 60’s style is no coincidence, the diner nearly unchanged since its debut in the aforementioned decade. 

“Thanks for inviting me,” Alex counters with a small smile. “I didn’t think you’d be able to see me tonight. It’s late.”

Their eyes meet. For several moments Kara feels incapable of speech - incapable of anything but peering into warm hazel eyes. Her heart feels like it’s thundering against her ribcage. Kara realizes she’s forgotten to breathe.

She takes in a shaky breath and bites her lip, finally able to look away. “It’s not that late.”

When she looks back up, Alex snorts and raises an eyebrow.

Kara flushes. “Okay, it’s a little late. It’s, what, after two?”

Alex purses her lips. It’s clear she’s trying not to laugh.

“I’m used to being up late,” Kara adds. Her cheeks feel even warmer than before.

“Are you a night owl, then?” Alex asks as she leans back in her seat.

Kara mirrors her and releases a silent sigh. “Kind of. I started staying up late because of college. There was a lot going on, and then most nights I ended up here scribbling song lyrics on napkins instead of studying.”

“Oh yeah?” Alex tilts her head to the side, looking interested.

“Yeah,” Kara affirms with a nod as the fidgets with a salt shaker. “This is where I wrote most of my first album.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

Kara shrugs and stares down at the table top. “The album didn’t do that great.”

“It _is_ great, though. I’m sure the sales have gone up now that you’re more well-known.”

Kara jerks her head up. “You’ve listened to it?”

Alex shifts in her seat and clears her throat, briefly looking away. She sucks on her lower lip and slowly nods. “Yeah.”

There’s a pause, and then their eyes meet again.

“I’ve said it before, but...your music is amazing.”

Alex is first to look away, and to Kara’s bewilderment, _her_ cheeks seem a little flushed.

“It’s kind of awkward, actually, being interested in dating you and being a huge fan at the same time.”

Kara sucks in a sharp breath. “Well, um, as long as you’re sure you really want to - to see me, to date me. Whatever.”

Alex’s attention snaps back up to Kara, her face seeming serious.

“Oh yes, Kara. I do.”

Once again Kara is left feeling breathless. She gathers her courage. “This isn’t how I pictured our first date, but I hope you’re not disappointed.”

“Not at all,” Alex promptly responds as she reaches over the table to brush her to press her fingertips lightly against Kara’s wrist.

Kara is acutely aware of the warm contact. She bites the inside of her cheek as she waits for Alex to continue.

“We’ve already had our first kiss, so there’s actually less pressure if you really think about it.”

The memory rushes back despite the several weeks that have passed. Kara doesn’t think of all the people standing around, or the cameras, mics and lights. Instead she just recalls how Alex’s lips had felt sliding against her own, how Alex’s body had felt pressed so intimately against her.

“Right,” Kara chokes out. She feels dizzy. “Where _is_ our waitress?” She looks desperately around the diner.

Alex’s hand slides so that it’s resting on her hand instead of her wrist.

The ball of anxiety and embarrassment curling in Kara’s stomach loosens. Alex’s eyes are so open and inviting, and her smile is soft and encouraging.

“I said _less_ pressure, Kara.”

The way her eyes twinkle make Kara think she’s silently laughing - though not in a mean way.

“Yeah, sorry, I just started thinking about it - and then I got embarrassed that I started thinking about it and--” Kara cuts off her own ramble when Alex gently squeezes her hand. She swallows. “It won’t be easy, you know? Dating me. My schedule’s so crazy and I’m late to just about everything and...I like you, Alex.” 

Kara thinks of the brief phone conversations they’d managed, of the insightful texts Alex had sent during her free time. It had made Kara feel like a tool when she’d had to cancel and cancel, and she could never text back quite the right response. At least it had felt that way.

Something in her chest squeezes uncomfortably when Alex’s hand retreats.

“Kara.”

She braces herself. She won’t cry.

“You know, I wasn’t really sure if coming was the best idea. I wasn’t sure how you felt about all of this. I, um, kind of wasn’t sure if coming was the right idea after you stopped talking to me but I had to know…” Alex looks down and her voice trails off.

Kara jolts. “No! No, I’m so glad you came! I just thought I was being such a dork and I must be so different than you thought I’d be and I was just embarrassing myself. I like you _so_ much, Alex. I do.”

“I like you too, Kara. I don’t care how many times things don’t work out. I get that you’re busy. So am I. I know it’ll be hard.” Alex pauses and glances away. Her eyes are intense when she looks back at Kara. “I don’t know what it is, but something tells me this is worth it. You’re worth it. We can figure this out. If-if you want to, that is.”

It’s astounding, how Alex can waver between absolute confidence and utter fragility within the span of a few words. Kara doesn’t hesitate. “Yes. I absolutely want to.”

When Alex’s hand reaches across the table this time, Kara’s meets her halfway.

“Great.”

Kara smiles and bites her lip, feeling giddy.

Alex’s eyes droop down and focus on Kara’s mouth. “Kara, do you think I could ki--”

Kara catches movement out of the corner of her eye.

“Sorry about the wait, had to wake up the cook once I saw you here, Kara. You want your usual? I think Jeb can manage to put everything on three plates if he gets creative,” Florence, an aging waitress with her grey-white hair done up in a beehive style, cuts in flatly.

“Flo!” Kara groans as she buries her now-burning face in her hands.

“Well _this_ I’ve gotta see.” Alex sounds amused and playful.

Kara peeks out between her fingers. Alex’s smile is wide and infectious; Kara forgets her embarrassment long enough to drop her hands and smile back.


	41. Just a Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 word prompt, "I should go"

* * *

Kara sighs and shifts her head on Alex’s shoulder. They’re nearly done catching up on all their shows and she’s not looking forward to their time ending.

She closes her eyes when Alex begins playing with her hair. She loves the gentle tugging, especially when Alex’s fingers slide deeper to lightly massage against her scalp. They haven’t been doing this much lately. It’s mostly Kara’s fault, but she hadn’t known how to feel when Alex had admitted to having crush on Detective Sawyer.

Kara hasn’t been allowing herself to such intimate moments with Alex. They won’t be hers anymore if Alex gets a girlfriend, anyway.

Distracted as she is, she’s unaware when the room suddenly goes quiet.

She blinks her eyes open. The TV screen is paused on the credits.

Her time is over.

“I should go,” she says as she straightens. Her mouth feels dry and there’s something wrong with her throat, so she swallows.  


“Kara,” Alex begins in an exasperated tone, “we’re at _your_  apartment.”  


“Right.” Kara feels restless; the room is dark, but she still doesn’t want to face Alex. She gets up and begins cleaning up the mess of their snacks on the coffee table.  


If she used her abilities, she’d be done in a matter of seconds. She doesn’t, instead taking her time and filling her arms with the sundry of half-eaten snacks and nearly empty to-go containers.

Alex wordlessly takes a couple from her and follows her into the lowly-lit kitchen area.

Kara wishes she really hadn’t.

“Um, so, you know - see you at work tomorrow, probably,” she stutters out as she dumps the snacks and containers onto the counter.  


Alex wordlessly follows suit, but doesn’t move once she’s standing next to Kara.

“Kara, what’s wrong? You’ve been avoiding me the last couple of weeks. Did I…did I do something to upset you?”  


Kara snaps her head up. “What? No.”

She realizes the trap she’s fallen into too late.

Alex’s eyes are soft and earnest. Kara’s heart pounds erratically when Alex steps closer.

“Kara,” Alex pleads as she raises a hand to cup Kara’s face, “please talk to me. Don’t shut me out.”  


It hits Kara all at once that they’ve somehow reversed roles. It’s always Alex closing off, not talking about the things that are bothering her. Kara’s never been good at keeping secrets. Especially from Alex.

“I…I,” Kara’s throat works. She can’t look away from Alex. Her shoulders slump. “I don’t know, I’ve been feeling weird since you told me about your crush on Detective Sawyer.”  


Alex cants her head to side, a small furrow appearing between her eyebrows. “Why?”

The words bubble up in a flurry. Kara doesn’t hold them back. “I don’t know, I-I can’t help thinking that once you and her are…are dating, then our time together won’t be a thing anymore. I’ll just be–well, it doesn’t matter, but I thought I should start trying to get used to it now, rather than later.”

The words only feel half-right, but Kara doesn’t know how to verbalize the rest.

Alex’s hand slides down to her jaw, then to half-cup the back of her head. 

Kara’s eyelids flutter closed, a warm feeling growing in her abdomen. She doesn’t want to verbalize the rest. It’ll change things.

“It’s just a crush, Kara. I’ve gotten over them before. Even if I didn’t, there’s no one in the entire galaxy that’s more important to me than you.”  


Kara finds herself smiling, though her eyes sting a little. She knows how Alex is, knows how Alex never half-asses anything she truly commits herself to. Alex would eventually fall in love with someone else and put her entire being into that relationship.

_Oh_.

“Right,” Kara whispers as she opens her eyes.  


The furrow between Alex’s eyebrow deepens. “Did I say galaxy? I meant universe. Multiverse.”

Kara can’t stop her smile from growing. She shakes her head. “Alex…”

Alex pouts her lips and squints her eyes. “I don’t know how to–”

And then, like she always does when she’s around Kara, she acts without thinking.

The kiss is brief but soft, and Kara is left staring wide-eyed at Alex.

For her part, Alex seems just as shocked. She steps back. “I, uh, oh. Jeez. Uh,” she fumbles with the pockets of her jeans and steps even further back.

Kara sucks in a breath and then steps forward, her hands reaching for Alex’s face.


	42. Milestones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in [The Doppelganger](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8727658/chapters/20006917) universe. 3 word prompt: "porcupine, mug, cathartic"

* * *

The bar is dark, the low lights over the shelves of liquor adding a nice effect to the enameled wood of the bar-top. As Alex shifts her weight she feels the wooden stool underneath her creak.

The sound goes unheard amidst the chatter of the people and the sound piping from the flat screens hanging up on either side of the actual bar. 

Alex is sitting close to one such screen, watching though not wanting to. She grips the still-full mug of beer in her hands.

What are the odds that a place like this would be tuned to _this_  particular channel?

Her attention drops to her beer. She’s not sure why she’d ordered it. In another life perhaps its presence might soothe her, but Alex has never been altogether fond of any type of alcoholic beverage.

Once, someone in college had described the oblivion of getting rip-roaring-drunk as ‘cathartic’, but Alex is certain that person had been a barely-functional alcoholic.

“Can I buy you a drink?” a low voice drawls from her right.  


Alex rolls her eyes and flicks her eyes to her company. “You can buy yourself a drink. And go sit somewhere else.”

“Well aren’t you just as prickly as a porcupine,” the obviously intoxicated man slurs in an odd accent. He shrugs and ambles over to another woman sitting alone.  


He’s a short distraction; Alex finds herself looking back at the TV once she’s certain she’ll be left alone.

Alex’s breath catches; Kara’s at the podium now, making a speech with an award in hand. She looks beautiful in a white and gold evening gown, her hair up and a few tendrils loose to dangle softly around her face.

Though some part of Alex is proud of her lover’s achievement, she finds herself unable to even smile.

Kara wraps her speech up and returns to her seat. A camera flashes briefly to her seat some moments later.

The award ceremony had been nothing to fight about. Alex had been thrilled on Kara’s behalf when she’d heard about the nomination.

But…

 _“I’m going to cheer_ so _hard for you!” Alex declares a week before. She pulls Kara in for a hug and presses a noisy kiss to her cheek._  


_Kara laughs, but sounds uncomfortable._

_Alex pulls back, her head tilted with curiosity. “What’s wrong?”_

_“Um,” Kara begins.  
_

_And Kara doesn’t need to say more. Alex has seen that look before. Though Kara is technically_ out _to the world, their appearances together at public events are rare. She bites back her disappointment. “It’s okay. I can still cheer very loudly for you at home.”_

_Kara’s eyes drop. “Yeah. Look, there’s something I need to tell you…”_

Adam looks handsome in his tuxedo. Alex isn’t surprised.

She doubts anyone will give him the time of day with Kara as his date.

Alex absently brings the mug to her lips, wincing when the flat, room temperature beer hits her tongue. She shakes her head and stands. She doesn’t want to be here, and she can’t watch the ceremony any longer.

*

Kara’s head jerks up when she hears the sound of the front door unlocking. She’s on her feet before the door can fully swing open.

“Alex.” She feels breathless as she takes in Alex’s appearance. Though in a simple leather jacket, jeans, and a tucked in button-up shirt, she looks more enticing than every person Kara’s just left behind at the after-party.  


Alex tilts her head and Kara is distracted by the perfect way it frames her jaw.

“You’re home.” It’s not a question, or particularly welcoming.  


Kara swallows and offers her a tentative nod. “Yes.”

Alex turns away and takes off her coat. “Shouldn’t you be at some big Hollywood after-party or something?”

“I didn’t feel much like celebrating,” Kara admits honestly. It hadn’t been much of a fight; a few heated exchanges the day of her announcement, and then a long, pervasive silence over the last several days. 

Kara had been frustrated and angry by the time the day of the ceremony had arrived.  


And she’d felt guilty. Incredibly, inescapably guilty.

Alex is fairly easy going about her work, and usually understands when they can’t appear at events together.

“You just won an award for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama. You should be celebrating.” Alex tucks her hands into the pockets of her jeans and shrugs.  


The most frustrating part is she seems perfectly sincere.

The worst part is how defeated she sounds.

“I should have said no,” Kara blurts out. It’s not the first time she’s buckled to her manager’s pressure, nor the first time she’s seen that disappointed look on Alex’s face.  


Alex only shrugs again. “I liked your speech,” she says after a moment.

“You watched?” There’s a lump in Kara’s throat.  


“Of course.” Alex pauses and slides a hand through her hair. “I’m afraid I didn’t cheer, though. I _am_  proud of you.”  


Kara can’t stand how out of sorts Alex seems. Things had been easier when the glow of new love had made the world seem a brighter place - but then Kara had decided to come out, and though lots of people had been lovely, there’d also been a lot of nastiness. And a few threats. 

Alex’s car had been vandalized.

It had been Cat’s idea to reduce their public appearances together. To protect Alex, she’d said.

“I can’t do this anymore.” The realization hits Kara hard as she remembers the speech she’d wholeheartedly given, how her voice had nearly given out when she’d dared to say Alex’s name.  


“ _What_?”  


The broken whisper pulls Kara from her thoughts, and it’s only then that she understands that she must have voiced her thoughts aloud. “No, no, that’s not what I meant.” She rushes to Alex and takes her hands into her own. “Well, I did, but not like…not like you think.”

“Okay,” Alex husks, still looking a little shell-shocked.  


“I meant…I mean,” Kara looks down at their joined hands. “I can’t stand hiding us anymore. I’m out, but it feels like I’m deeper in the closet than I ever was. I can’t do it anymore.”  


Alex squeezes her hands. Kara smiles. “I love you, Alex. I wanted you there with me tonight.”

“Did you?” Alex tries to play off the question with a smile, but Kara can feel the way her hands are shaking.  


“Of course.” She searches Alex’s face for a few heartbeats. “I always want you with me. Always. I can’t stand how things have gotten these last few months. I miss you.”  


“I’ve missed you too, but this is all my fault anyway. I should never have asked you to come out. I’m so sorry.” Alex shakes her head.

“You asked me, and I agreed. It felt right. Being with you feels right. Yeah, some bad stuff has happened but…the way I felt when I told everyone? God, that alone was worth it. The way you smiled at me after? That was just a big, beautiful bonus. I love you, you know?”  


“I know,” Alex intones softly. She leans ever so minutely toward Kara, and Kara reads the movement and meets her halfway.  


She sighs into the kiss, and all at once things feel like they’ll be alright again.

“Alex,” she murmurs as the kiss ends, “I think it’s about time you married me.”

Alex snorts but doesn’t pull away. “Is that supposed to be a question?”

“No, it’s my hypothesis. I’m pretty sure I read it in that scientific journal you left on the coffee table.”  


“You do realize that my subscription is for _National Geographic_ , right? That’s not really a scientific journal.”  


“Of course it’s a scientific journal. There was an article in there and the leading experts all say it’s about time you married me.”  


“Normally, I like arguing with the leading experts, but the science _does_  seem sound–urk!”

“Sorry,” Kara says as she loosens her sudden grip around Alex’s back. Her heart is pounding like crazy and her eyes are wide and she can’t look away from Alex. “Does that, was that a _yes_?”  


A smile slowly blossoms on Alex’s face. “Maybe.”

“ _Alex_.”  



	43. The Wrong Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the kiss meme goshdarnitjay asked for #20, kisses because everything hurts right now including being loved by you but you’re also the only thing that makes it feel better.

* * *

“ _Her?”_ the word comes out gravel in Kara’s throat–coarse and painful.

Alex remains turned a way, though her shoulders lift up in a shrug. “Yeah. We’re supposed to go out again tonight.”

Kara’s hand rises to her throat; surely some of the gravel has caught and that’s why her eyes are stinging and it feels like she can’t breathe.

“Why can’t you just love me?” she asks in a whisper. She doesn’t really expect an answer.  


Alex stiffens, her hands pressing on either side of her open closet door as if to steady herself.

“I do,” Alex retorts in a tight, angry voice. “That’s the problem.”  


When Kara angles her chin upward, the first tear escapes. Her despondency is soon eclipsed by fury. “Only because you make it a problem, _Alex_.”

The wood under Alex’s hands creaks a warning a moment before she turns swiftly on her heel. Her nostrils are flared and her lips are pressed into a thin line. “You’re my _sister_ , Kara.” The simple sentence is expelled like a curse, Alex’s hands jabbing sharply as she stalks forward. “Nothing in the world can change that.”

Kara balls her hands into fists and stands up from her precarious seat on Alex’s bed. She’s still angry, but she can see something else in Alex. The familiar hazel eyes are sparking with upset, but they lower to rest on Kara’s mouth as she stands.

“That doesn’t have to change.” Kara stares at Alex, her fury waning. Even now she can’t stop looking at Alex, hoping that this time she can get through to her. She wants things to be different. She wants… “Please. Don’t see her again. Don’t sl-slee–” Kara cuts herself off, unable to finish because now the tears are trickling down her cheeks in a steady stream.

Alex’s features soften into a frown, her lips downturning with worry. “Don’t look at me like that, Kara,” she pleads softly.

Kara bites her lip and looks away, hoping the long cascade of her hair will protect for a few precious moments.

“Kara.”  


Her name is the only warning she gets, because then warm, shaking hands are brushing her hair away. She silently gasps as trembling lips are pressed to her cheeks once, twice, three times.

“I do love you,” comes the pained admission.  


For a moment Alex’s head rests against her own, unsteady breaths painting her still-wet cheeks with suppressed feeling.

For a moment, Kara can forget everything but how she and Alex feel about each other.

Then the moment passes and Alex pulls away.

Kara doesn’t look at her, already knowing the small fake smile she’ll be wearing.

“Don’t wait up,” Alex says in a way that’s both a warning and a plea.  


Kara feels like she’s going to be sick, the acid in her stomach twisting and turning viciously. “You’re a coward, Alex Danvers,” she mutters as Alex heads for the door.

Alex hesitates briefly, her head ducking down and her shoulders hunching. 

The door slamming is too loud for the now silent apartment.


	44. The Night Before the Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the kiss meme gattaxa asked for #9, ‘We might die tomorrow’ kiss

* * *

“Kara. Kara!” Alex tries not to let panic seep into her voice as she lightly slaps Kara’s cheeks. To her relief, blue eyes flutter open.  


“Alex?” Kara squints and looks around. “Where are we?”  


Alex rolls her lips together. She wants to lie. She won’t. “Cadmus.”

Kara nods and winces, bringing a hand to her temple as she looks up at the sickly green light over their dark cell. “They let you in with me?”

Alex grits her teeth into a fierce smile. “I killed two of them when they tried to tranq me. They decided I wasn’t worth the headache.”

Her smile becomes real as Kara laughs–then disappears just as quickly when Kara groans and slumps back against the wall.

“I’ve got you.” Alex shifts closer to her, adjusting herself so that Kara’s head can rest on her shoulder. She wants to tear the kryptonite filters from the ceiling, but she knows that to be impossible. Right now she’s going to take care of Kara in the only way she can.  


“J’onn?” Kara nuzzles her face closer to Alex’s neck and takes a deep, steadying breath.  


Alex wordlessly shakes her head.

Kara’s fingers wind their way into her shirt, twisting the fabric almost painfully against her skin. She doesn’t complain. Instead, she pulls Kara closer.

“Don’t worry, we’re all gonna get out of here.” Alex is confident because she has no other option. She refuses to believe that this is the end for them. Kara’s story will _not_  end here.  


They sit quietly for long minutes, absorbing the comfort of their bond.

“Alex,” Kara says in a quiet voice after Alex has lost track of time, “no matter what happens tomorrow, I want you to know something.”  


Alex tenses. “Tomorrow we’re getting out of here.”  


Kara’s head shakes minutely against her shoulder. “You don’t know that. Look, I–”

“You’re not _dying_ here, Kara.” It takes every effort for Alex not to shout. Why is Kara being like this? Kara _never_  gives up.

“Alex.” Kara’s voice is softer now, her head rising.  


Alex can feel her stare like a gentle stroking of her cheek. She grudgingly turns so they’re eye to eye.

Kara smiles, it’s lopsided but genuine, and Alex’s breath catches.

Blue eyes study her, and a moment later Kara’s hand rises to tuck a few loose strands of hair behind her ear.

“Listen to me, please. I haven’t gotten to say goodbye to all the people I’ve lost. I want you to know that, no matter what happens tomorrow, I love you. I know it’s messed up, but I’m glad that if we have to die, that it will be together.” She pauses and glances briefly away, “I mean, ideally you’ll survive and go on to get married and have babies and have a full life, but–”  


“Kara.” Alex’s voice is stern. She waits until blue eyes are again focused on her. “I’d rather die with you than live a moment without you. All that stuff won’t mean a damn thing to me if you’re not here.” More words threaten to spill over, but she bites them back.  


Kara frowns, her head canting to the side as she looks at Alex. “What aren’t you saying?”

Alex swallows, her chest feeling tight. She shouldn’t ruin this moment. She shouldn’t.

Kara’s frown deepens, a sheen of tears making her eyes glisten. “Please. Tell me.”

“I–” but Alex has spent too long not saying everything and the words won’t budge.  


Kara’s expression becomes pained, her eyes welling with imminent tears.

And Alex can’t say the words, but she takes a quick breath, closes her eyes, and leans forward.

The kiss is delicate and chaste, but Alex hopes it helps where her failing words haven’t.

When she pulls back Kara’s tears have spilled over and her heart lurches–but Kara’s smiling and she can’t seem to look away from Alex.

“Thank you,” Kara breathes out lowly as she leans in to brush her lips against Alex’s again.  



	45. The Secrets of the Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the kiss meme ifourmindbeso asked for #12, A kiss that shouldn’t have happened.

* * *

Kara straightens as the waitress moves away with their order. She wonders if maybe she’s ordered too much food for a date–double date, she corrects herself–but Alex just winks at her from across the table as if knowing what she’s thinking.

She laughs to herself, garnering a curious look from James.

“What’s so funny?” he asks in a whisper as he leans close to her cheek.

She shifts just slightly away as his warm breath tickles her cheek, oddly uncomfortable at the thought of him kissing her in front of Alex.

“Oh, um, nothing really. You know me.” Her hands fidget for a moment and then she reaches up to tuck some loose hair behind her ear. “So, Maggie, any interesting cases come in this week?”  


Maggie squints, a small smile upturning her lips. “Are you asking as a friend or as a reporter?”

Alex snorts, and Kara kicks her softly under the table. “A friend, of course.” She pauses and purses her lips, feeling a little sheepish. “Well, and maybe a little bit as a reporter?”

“As a _friend_ , this is off the record, of course,” Maggie begins.  


Kara tries her best to stay focused, but she’s oddly aware of the way Maggie reaches out to Alex as the story is told. She isn’t sure why she’s feeling this way–well, except maybe that this double date had been _her_  idea because she simply hadn’t been seeing enough of Alex lately. 

Is it really necessary for Maggie to be so handsy?

“…the audacity to try and tell me that he had diplomatic immunity! Can you believe that?”  


It hits Kara then that she hasn’t heard the last few minutes of Maggie’s monologue, and she’s left smiling awkwardly. “Oh, wow, yeah.”

“I’ll have to remember to try that one,” James interjects with a charming grin, “does Pluto _have_  diplomatic rights?”  


Maggie’s hand disappears under the table as she leans forward. Kara resists the urge to peek through the table for barely half a second.

Her metal chair makes a loud, screeching noise as she abruptly pushes it back. The restaurant, which had been full of chatter and clanking dishes, feels eerily quiet.

“Um, bathroom,” she explains with flaming hot cheeks as she tries to forget how cozy Maggie’s hand seems curled intimately over Alex’s inner thigh.  


She doesn’t wait for anyone’s response, instead ducking her head as she blindly makes her way to the bathroom.

The bathroom is thankfully empty and Kara buries her face in her hands the moment the door shuts behind her.

“What’s wrong with me?” she mutters. Her face still feels like it’s burning, so she stalks over to one of the two sinks.  


Kara breathes carefully in and out, knowing with her emotions so high she’s likely to break something. Gingerly she turns the cold tap on, splashing her face with its coolness in hopes of restoring her equilibrium.

The door squeaks open behind her.

She doesn’t have to look to know it’s Alex.

“Everything alright?”  


Kara can’t look at her sister, instead reaching over to tear off a paper towel to pat her face dry. “Everything…everything’s fine.”

She knows the moment the words escape her lips that Alex won’t believe her.

“Kara…”  


For a moment she thinks maybe it won’t be as bad if she only looks at Alex through the reflection of the mirror. Their eyes meet, and instantly she knows that she was wrong.

“I’m being silly, that’s all.” She tries for a smile. When that fails, she simply shrugs.  


Her heart thunders loudly in her ears as Alex draws closer. She feels the heat from Alex’s body before strong hands settle on her shoulders, only to slide down to cup her biceps.

Alex’s head settles on her shoulder, and it’s like they haven’t been apart for what feels like months, only speaking in passing at the DEO as they go about their lives. Alex isn’t a stranger, she’s…

“Tell me,” Alex insists softly.  


Kara’s throat works as she swallows, and she braces her hands against the sink as she starts to turn.

Her hand finds a patch of water and slips, and Kara has a split second to internally groan at her own clumsiness as she loses her balance.

“Whoa now.”  


Of course, Alex has reached out for her in reflex.

Kara laughs even though she knows the fall wouldn’t have really hurt–but Alex’s arms are around her and her heart is feeling lighter than it has in weeks.

Alex snorts and then chuckles along, squeezing Kara closer and pulling her into a hug. “I’ve missed this,” she admits when Kara’s laughter finally dies down.

And here, safe in the circle of Alex’s arms and with her nose buried against the soft fall of Alex’s hair, Kara can close her eyes and ask for the truth. “Have you? Really? It doesn’t feel like it.”

She grudgingly allows Alex to pull away.

Alex is frowning as she studies Kara’s face. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

Kara looks down and her stomach twists.

A gentle hand finds it’s way to her chin, gently nudging upward until they’re again looking each other in the eye.

Kara searches the familiar hazel before her and answers truthfully. “Yes.”

A ripple of hurt shifts Alex’s expression, only to become one of shame. She doesn’t speak, but her face speaks volumes.

“Alex, I–”  


“No,” Alex says as she shakes her head. “I know I’ve been… distracted. I thought… I thought, well, it was for the best. You’ve got James and I know you meant well, but I can only tag along on so many of your dates before things just settle into eternally awkward. When things took off with Maggie, I thought that’s just the way things are supposed to be.”  


Kara is overwhelmed; the shame is still etched in the deep lines of around Alex’s mouth and across her brow, but it’s hurt that seeps into her words. She wants to tell Alex how the dates with James just weren’t fun without Alex around, but she knows that’s not something she’s supposed to say.

When Alex ducks her head down, her hair tickles Kara’s nose. Kara finds herself turning involuntarily toward its softness and comforting scent.

She can hear Alex’s heart pounding, feel the nervous shift of Alex’s palms against her back. 

Kara tilts her head and brushes her lips across the corner of Alex’s mouth. The most striking thing about the moment isn’t the way Alex’s breathing becomes shaky, or the way tingles are traveling over Kara’s skin in waves. No, instead it’s how _right_  it had felt to lean in, how perfect it had felt to experience the softness of Alex’s lips against her own.

Alex still hasn’t moved other than to watch Kara as if she’s about to reveal the secrets of the universe.

Kara leans in again, her eyes sliding shut as she presses her mouth fully to Alex’s.

Perhaps it does feel like she’s unraveled the secrets of the universe; it’s something long denied, but long wanted, even if Kara’s never had the moment to let herself consider it. Her universe _has_  been Alex from the first moment their eyes had met.

The door squeaks open again but Kara doesn’t care. She pulls Alex closer.


	46. The Band/Gone Home AU Cherry and I Will Never Write

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the kiss meme yourestillhere asked for #8, In the dark kiss.
> 
> This is part of a band/Gone Home AU Cherry and I spent hours cooking up ages ago that we'll never write. Cherry wrote [this small piece](https://chokingthecherry.tumblr.com/post/145555144900/patron-drabble) of the same universe before, if you're interested. It takes place in the timeline before this ficlet.

* * *

“How are you doing tonight?” Lucy’s voice crackles just slightly over the mic. She grins as the crowd cheers. There’s sweat on her face from the lights and the several songs they’ve already performed, but she looks like she’s in her element.  


Kara smiles, invigorated by the crowd just as much as the band. They’re her friends, after all, and she’s always thrilled to see them perform. Alex had offered her a chair just off-stage, but Kara couldn’t bear the thought of sitting there. This is going to be one of their last performances all together, and Kara doesn’t want to be anywhere else but the front row, pressed against the wood of the stage as she watches Alex–and the rest of her friends–pour their souls into their music.

“This next song is a special rendition of a classic. My dear friend, and honestly a-fucking-mazing guitarist-slash-singer, is going to be taking the lead on this one,” Lucy steps back and gestures to her right.  


Alex grins brightly at the crowd, her left hand comfortably cradling the neck of her guitar as she tugs her free hand through her sweaty hair.

Kara’s heart feels like it skips a beat. Alex is a natural on stage in her dark ripped jeans and ragged white shirt with the hand painted band logo “Super Grrls” in bright red.

“I know you’re all here for some kick-ass music, but I hope you don’t mind if we slow things down just for a minute.” Alex glances down toward Kara as she finishes speaking, offering Kara a wink.  


Kara bites the inside of her cheek.

Alex begins strumming her guitar, the lights dimming until she’s alone in the spotlight.

The familiar tune makes Kara freeze, her stomach fluttering as the fingertips of her right hand flutter over the wrist of her left. The night she’d gotten the tattoo, she and Alex had found themselves alone together on the hood of Alex’s beat up old Toyota, staring up at the stars as this song had played over the radio.

It had been the night that Alex had told she was joining the Army.

“You with the sad eyes, don’t be discouraged…”  


Alex abruptly shifts her weight, moving so that she’s staring intently at Kara as she sings.

“I see your true colors, and that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid…”  


Kara lips part, unable to look away. There is no doubt in her mind that Alex is singing to _her_.

The rest of the song passes in a haze, Kara’s mind flooding with too many thoughts. She shouldn’t be here, should never have been here–her parents think she’s off at some study group Kara had stopped going to only weeks after meeting Alex.

Alex, who’s nothing like anyone else in Kara’s world, who smiles that special crooked smile just for her.

Alex, who’s going to be leaving soon.

She’s pulled from her reverie when Lucy is suddenly speaking again, cheesing it up to the crowd as she declares that the band will be back after a short break.

The world stills around Kara, her heart pounding like crazy because she can feel Alex still looking at her, knows that Alex is going to hop off the stage at any moment and Kara isn’t ready to face that _look_.

The friendly crowd becomes a cloying mass, and Kara knows she needs to leave. Now.

“Sorry, sorry,” she blurts out as she turns to begin awkwardly forcing herself through the crowd.  


She can hear the cries of “Kara!” just behind her, but she can’t stop.

The rickety wooden double doors part easily under the force of her sweating palms, and for that first fresh gust of air, Kara can breathe.

The doors swing shut with too much force, and Kara startles at the loud sound.

“Kara,” comes her name again, a soft whisper nearly lost in the cool breeze.  


She clenches her fists at her sides, body shaking as she realizes that this, these _feelings_ , aren’t something she can escape.

Kara can feel the warmth of Alex’s hand as it hovers over her shoulder. She expects it to land at any moment, to forcefully turn her so Alex can ask _why–_ but instead, the warmth retreats and disappears.

Kara turns anyway.

Alex’s head is turned away, her hands tucked into her back pockets and her short hair hiding her features. “Sorry,” she mumbles in a low, rough voice.

And Kara, who’s never seen Alex as anything other than utterly than confident, is stunned.

“I’ll, uh,” Alex gestures awkwardly behind herself and combs a hand through her hair.  


“Wait,” Kara intones as she reaches out to grasp Alex’s wrist. She stares down at it and bites her lip, marveling at how delicate it feels under her fingertips.

Alex stops but doesn’t say anything. Kara wishes, just briefly, that the streetlight several feet away wasn’t out because it’s hard to read Alex’s expression in the sparse moonlight.

But then her eyes adjust a little more, and she can see the slow, crooked grin that she adores forming on Alex’s face.

Kara doesn’t think about her father and mother, about the perfect life they already have all planned out for her as she steps forward and Alex’s hands settle on her hips.

The first brush of Alex’s mouth against hers is a revelation, all the times they’ve been alone with an air of _something_  she’d never been able to define suddenly making sense. Then she can’t think about that either because Alex’s mouth is hot and intoxicating and it doesn’t seem like they can ever get close enough.

By the time the kiss–kisses–stop, Alex is pressed back up against the wall with Kara’s hands in her hair.

Kara sighs and closes her eyes, her head drooping to settle in the space between Alex’s neck and shoulder.

Alex’s arms are wrapped low and snug around her waist, pulling her minutely closer as they catch their breath.

In the moments when reality creeps in and threaten to overwhelm her with the certainty of a future she’s not sure she’s ever wanted, Kara only knows one thing.

She needs this. She needs Alex.


	47. Near Misses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the kiss meme anon asked for #10, ‘You nearly died’ kiss

* * *

“WHERE IS AGENT DANVERS?!” comes Kara’s loud shout. It echoes loudly in the cave system of the underground DEO facility, and Alex sinks down lower in her borrowed chair.  


If only Vasquez had managed to requisition that jet, Alex thinks, then she could have escaped this very uncomfortable and possibly avoidable confrontation.

She tries to steady her pulse in the way she’s trained to do, but the effort is too little, too late. The large _swoosh_  of air nearly makes Alex lose her balance in the chair.

“Oh, hey Kara,” Alex says as she tries to casually shift her left arm so her cast is hidden behind Lucy’s desk. Isn’t Lucy’s office supposed to have some kind of awesome security system? Oh, right, Alex had disabled that when she’d broken in to hide from Kara. “What are you doing here?”  


Kara’s cheeks are flushed and her eyes are bright with anger. “What am _I_  doing here?”

Alex swallows. “Um, so, funny story–”

“Stop.”  


Several emotions shift rapidly over Kara’s face, and Alex thinks she could handle just about any of them but the _hurt_  that leaves tears glistening in Kara’s eyes and a deep frown pinching at her mouth.

“I can’t talk to you right now,” Kara relays in a tired voice.  


And just like she’s appeared, Kara’s gone.

Alex’s stomach lurches. She gets up unsteadily from her seat and looks around, wondering why she’d gone to such lengths to avoid Kara when the end result had been much worse than anger.

“Shit.”  


*

The pizza and double order of potstickers are cold by the time Kara gets home. Alex stands, unaware that she’s been sitting in the dark until Kara flicks a lamp on.

“What are you doing here?” Kara sounds tired rather than angry. She begins tugging her cape free as she heads toward her room.  


Alex trails silently behind her. “I was worried about you.”

Kara stiffens halfway to her closet, both hands clutching her cape. She throws it roughly over to her bed, angrily turning on her heel to face Alex. “Great,” she snaps out.

And though Kara is angry, Alex can still sees the way it still looks like she could cry at any moment, how her hands shake as she attempts to remove her skirt.

Alex rushes forward to rest her good hand over Kara’s. She waits until Kara finally meets her eyes. 

“I’m sorry.”

The stony expression on Kara’s face fractures, her face crumpling as she begins to cry. “You could have died, Alex.”

It’s not guilt that has Alex reaching out to wrap her arms around Kara (though she does feel it). “I’m sorry,” she repeats as Kara’s face presses against her shoulder. The hug is a little painful, but Alex doesn’t mind.

“We’ve talked about this, Alex.” Kara’s voice is muffled by the fabric of Alex’s shirt, but Alex still understands her. “You can’t keep going after these guys alone. There’s a _lot_  of agents in the DEO if you can’t bother to call me, but _you have got to stop going after these guys alone_.”  


Alex’s throat works. “That ‘guy’ you’re talking about? He has a reputation, you know? He thinks he’s some kind of hunter, and he goes after rare aliens. He had Kryptonite, Kara. There’s no way I was letting him anywhere near _you_.”

Kara’s fingers tighten against the fabric of her shirt briefly. After a moment, Kara chuckles.

“We’re something else, aren’t we?” Kara’s eyes are puffy and her face is wet, but her small smile is genuine.  


“Yeah,” Alex says as she uses the backs of her finger to wipe away the last of Kara’s tears. She rolls her lips together. “I had a team with me, you know. They just… weren’t quick enough. I _do_  listen to you, Kara.”  


Kara sighs, her eyes fluttering closed as she leans into Alex’s hand. "I guess that’s something.”

“It is,” Alex agrees absently. She prefers Kara this way, relaxed and happy.  


She isn’t sure how long she stares, but then Kara’s eyes are blinking open and something settles deep and heavy in Alex’s stomach.

Blue eyes search her own for what feels like a small eternity, and then Kara leans in and plants a soft, chaste kiss to her mouth.

“You’re staying here,” Kara whispers against her lips. It’s not a request.  


Alex can only nod, feeling lightheaded as Kara interlaces their fingers together and begins tugging her back in the direction of the living room.

“I smell potstickers.”  



	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a simple double drabble (200) words requested by of-suns-and-guns on tumblr.
> 
> Dramatic "Kalex comes out to Eliza."

* * *

 

Alex licks her lips; if she and Kara can  _just_ make it up the stairs…

Behind her, Kara giggles.

“Shh,” Alex whispers. Walking is difficult with Kara’s hands wandering over her back—though the alcohol they’d had earlier at Lucy’s party doesn’t help.

In a few days they’ll be back in National City, prepping for a new semester of college.

“Kiss me,” Kara suddenly whispers. Her hands tug urgently at Alex’s hips.

Alex intends on telling her  _no_ , but then she’s being pushed back into the wall, Kara’s mouth already searching out her skin, a leg sliding between her thighs and making her gasp.

Thinking is impossible with Kara’s lips on her neck; her back arches as Kara’s teeth scrape over her pulse point.

“Kara,” she protests weakly. Her breath catches as Kara’s hands tug her shirt up from the waist of her jeans, her mouth going dry at Kara’s intense look of  _want_. She doesn’t think about protesting again.

When the light is suddenly flicked on, they don’t have time to pull away from one another.

“ _Alexandra_ ,” her mother hisses, fury making her features hard.

Alex steps protectively in front of Kara.

She’s terrified but it doesn’t matter; Kara does.


	49. Moments of Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lurkete on tumblr prompted "sauna" for Kalex fluff. 
> 
> Other stuff crept in. Oops.

* * *

“Ugh, this _would_  happen when I’m trying to recover my powers from a blowout.” Kara wipes at her forehead, wondering how long it’ll take someone to realize she and Alex are trapped in Alex’s rarely used office.  


The emergency lights are a little bluer than they’re used to, but it’s better than sitting in the dark.

Alex grunts, the tips of her hair already damp with sweat. “If we were still in the underground facility this wouldn’t be a problem. It’s always like crazy cold there.”

Kara grimaces and wipes at her forehead again. She’s not used to sweating like this. “I thought you guys had backups for this kind of thing.”

“Pretty sure that explosion we heard was the auxiliary power going. They really need to get the tech we’ve got going at the other place, especially since the AC is always going full blast everywhere here. I think it eats up more energy than the entire alien prison.” Alex grimaces and tugs her damp shirt away from her skin. “This uniform wasn’t a problem at the other facility, either.”  


For a moment Kara mourns the fact that Alex doesn’t have windows—but they’re hardly secure for a secret agency. The coolness from the AC had rapidly dissipated once the power had gone out. “Is this what a sauna normally feels like?”

“Something like this, yeah,” Alex grumbles as she glares at the dim lights of the keypad entry. Since she’s rarely in her office she hasn’t restocked her emergency explosives from the last time. With Kara’s powers still not recuperated, it wouldn’t be worth the risk in the small space anyway, she mentally concedes.  


She catches movement out of the corner of her eye. Kara’s hair has been tugged up into a loose knot high on her head, and a moment later the bright red cape is being tugged free. 

“This costume doesn’t breathe at all,” Kara mutters as she rubs a hand over the fabric.

Alex has an internal debate. At least she can get rid of her holsters. She begins tugging straps free, feeling relieved when the extra weight and layers are gone.

“What are you—”  


But Alex is intent on tugging her boots off next. Her office feels like an oven left on high heat and she knows if the power isn’t restored in a reasonable time they’ll be at risk for heat exhaustion. It’s simply _too_ hot.

She bites her lower lip as she stares down at the shirt. It’s a little too tight, and though heavy with sweat, it doesn’t provide adequate airflow. “Take off your costume top,” she commands from over her shoulder as she untucks her shirt.

“What?” Kara’s voice is high squeaky and it makes Alex’s eyebrows rise. She discards her shirt onto her desk and then settles her hands on her hips. “Costume top. Off. They’ll probably restore power soon, but in case they don’t we need to try keeping our body temps down.”  


Kara stares at some point on the wall over Alex’s shoulder. “I don’t, I mean do I really—would that really, I don’t think it would _help_  necessarily—”

“Kara, do I need to undress you?” Alex does her best to keep her temper even, but the words still come out a little snappy.  


“NO!” Kara squeaks out again as she begins fumbling with her skin-tight top.  


“Your skirt should be fine,” Alex says with a small frown. Why is Kara acting so weirdly? They’ve seen each other _naked_ before. Granted, that had been back when they were teenagers, but still. She turns away to give her sister some privacy  


“Fishsticks!”  


Alex snorts and covers her mouth with one hand.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kara says with a grown, “The thing is, this top is kind of like a leotard—you know, so everything stays in place. Ugh, it’s worst to try and take off when wet.”  


When the sounds of awkward shuffling stop, Alex turns back around.

Kara is left in a simple blue sports bra and her red skirt, boots discarded off in the corner with the damp fabric of her costume top.

Alex wiggles her toes against the lukewarm tiles. “We should sit on the floor.”

“Okay,” Kara says in an unnaturally high voice. Her face is the reddest Alex has ever seen it.  


The sight of it, also damp with perspiration, makes Alex frown and raise her hand to Kara’s face. “Your face is really hot.”

“You don’t say?” Kara mumbles, sliding down the wall and sliding her arms around her raised knees protectively.  


To Kara’s great dismay Alex slumps back against the desk, legs stretched out and head thrown back. Alex shuts her eyes and heaves a large sigh.

Kara does her best to keep her attention from the long expanse of bare skin, intent on looking no lower than Alex’s shoulders. It’s not as difficult as she worries it might be.

There’s always been _something_ about that graceful line of Alex’s throat, and Kara’s eyes are drawn to it. Her awed perusal continues along Alex’s strong jaw, tracing the features she adores without thinking. “You really are _so_ beautiful.”

Alex blinks her eyes open, a small furrow between her eyebrows. “You don’t have to keep saying that, you know. I’ll get over Maggie’s rejection eventually.”

Kara purses her lips together. “That’s not why I said it. It’s not why I ever say it,” she manages around the thickness in her throat. Her mind sounds a warning—she’s too close to saying something she shouldn’t—and Kara bites the inside of her cheek and sighs.

The half-smile that pulls at Alex’s lips is self-deprecating. “Right, yeah.”

Kara’s jaw tightens, but she remains silent. It’s too hot to think, too hot to say the right things at the right time.

As they segue into a comfortable silence, there’s a fullness to the air that Kara isn’t sure has all to do with the heat. A quick glance to Alex reveals her to be relaxed, and Kara wonders if it’s just all in her head.

She isn’t how long they sit there, but then quite suddenly, the AC kicks on.

“Oh thank god,” Alex says with a relieved sigh, still not moving from her spot.  


Kara peers upward, smiling when she realizes that Alex is seated directly under the vent. The smile shifts into a frown after a prolonged moment. “The emergency lights are still on.”

“Mm,” Alex murmurs, eyes still closed. “My guess is we’re not back to full power yet, but they diverted enough to keep everyone from baking alive while they try to get everything else back up.”  


As she finishes speaking, Alex’s tongue pokes out to moisten her lips.

Kara’s heart thuds almost painfully in her chest. “That makes sense.”

They segue into silence again.

“Shit,” Alex says after uncountable minutes have passed. “Now I’m getting cold.”  


Alex reaches awkwardly up to fumble around for her shirt, grimacing as her hand makes contact. Her face is pinched with disgust as she holds up the obviously damp fabric. “I _so_  do not want to put this back on.”

Kara, who’s separating her own top from her cape, also grimaces. “Yeah, mine either.” She bites her lower lip, hands still gripping the red cape. “Here,” she says as she offers the cape over to Alex. “It _was_  a blanket first.”

About to accept the offering, Alex frowns. “No, you’re cold too. I’m not taking that unless you come sit with me.”

If Alex didn’t look so determined, still with her shirt decidedly off, Kara might find some way to string several thoughts together. Instead, she squeaks out a “Okay” and stiffly scoots over so she’s sitting shoulder to shoulder with Alex.

As Alex helps adjust the cape around them both, Kara can’t help but think of all the times she’s done the same thing in the heat of a moment, intent on keeping Alex safe from fire, debris, or any other number of hazardous thing.

The stiffness eases from her body, even as Alex’s bare side presses into her own.

“What are you smiling about?”  


Kara bites her lower lip, unable to stop the smile now that it’s in place. She chances a look over to Alex. “Just thinking about all the times I’ve wrapped us both up in this.”

Alex returns the smile, a warm feeling blossoming in her chest as she looks at Kara. They haven’t been this close in a while; Alex had needed some space after coming to terms with her feelings for Maggie. “Yeah, you do that a lot, don’t you?” Her voice is full of affection, her mind drifting to the countless times she’s instinctively moved to Kara, knowing that Kara will save her just as she’s saved Kara many times over. “We really do make a good team.’

“Yeah.”  


Kara’s voice is soft but hitches, not looking at Alex.

An unsettling feeling grows in Alex’s chest. She leans slightly toward Kara, her hand bracing against her sister’s stomach. “Kara, what is it?”

“Oh god,” Kara whispers.  


Kara trembles under Alex’s fingertips. Alex moves even closer. “Kara, _what is it_?” she repeats in a voice tinged with panic.

And though Kara tries very much, she’s unable to stop herself from looking at Alex. “I,” her voice shakes and trails off. The ability to speak seems too difficult to master, so she tugs her hand up from where it’s been clenching her skirt to rest carefully over Alex’s. “I,” she tries again as her gaze meet Alex’s—and then speech is utterly _impossible_.

Alex’s lips part slowly, her hand tightening against Kara’s skin.

All at once Kara feels electric, vibrant—as if she’s been drenched in the direct light of the sun after weeks without it. She holds her breath as Alex leans just that much closer, and then their lips are meeting and Alex’s hand is sliding out from under hers and up her side to pull her closer.

They don’t notice when the light flickers and changes, signifying the return of full power to the building.


	50. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Novak-fan prompted "scary" for Kalex fluff - and hey! It's almost pure fluff! Almost...

* * *

Alex frowns up at her screen, not liking the inconclusive results in the least. The sample had been small, but still, she’d hoped…

The door to her lab opens behind her, pulling her from her thoughts.

She scowls, but the scowl melts away when she sees Kara.

“Kara, hey,” she says, feeling suddenly better as she sets her tablet down.  


Kara grins, her eyes seeming to dance with delight. “Alex, what have you been up to?”

Alex squints. She can _hear_  the suppressed laughter in Kara’s voice. “Just running some tests on a—Kara, _why_  are you trying not to laugh?”

Blue eyes widen, and then Kara rolls her lips together in further attempts to hide her mirth. “I… I don’t know what you mean, Alex.”

Alex takes a menacing step closer. “ _Kara_.”

To her surprise, a snort escapes Kara, even as Kara brings both hands up to press over her mouth.

It seems whatever hold on Kara has had on maintaining her composure is gone because, despite the hands still halfheartedly trying to stop the sound, Kara is bent over with laughter.

Alex arches her eyebrows and settles her hands on her hips, watching dispassionately as Kara tries to catch her breath. “Are you done yet?”

After another few moments, Kara straightens, one hand wiping at her eyes. “Yeah,” she says between sucking in air, “I think so.”

She still sounds so _amused_  that Alex doesn’t fight the way her own lips curl up. “What was that all about?”

Kara bites her lip, not diminishing her grin in the least. “I overheard a group of new agents fresh out of training going on about how their commanding officer was so _scary_  and so I thought maybe they were talking about J’onn, but then—” Kara chokes out a laugh.

It doesn’t take much for Alex to figure out. Her eyes narrow. “What? I’m so totally scary! Don’t laugh!”

Kara turns away, chortling into her hand.

Alex crosses her arms and glares. “ _You_ used to think I was scary.”

At that, Kara stops, her hand dropping as she again catches her breath. She stares at Alex for a long moment, a small smile still on her face.

“Scary? Not exactly. Not in the way you might think, anyway.”  


The pained look of longing that passes over Kara’s face makes Alex’s chest ache. She steps closer and cups Kara’s face with both hands.

“Hey,” Alex coaxes softly, “don’t think about that, okay? We figured it out, didn’t we?”  


“Yeah,” Kara whispers. Her eyes glisten too brightly, tears inexplicably welling in her eyes.  


Alex finds it impossible to resist leaning closer to press a lingering kiss to her mouth, wishing it would cure all the fears and doubt she knows Kara still hides behind forced smiles.

When Kara’s lips move against her own, she wonders if—maybe for just a moment—she’s managed to do just that.

The kiss ends when Alex needs breath, but she doesn’t pull away from Kara. She revels in the strength of their bond, eyes closed and her temple resting softly against Kara’s head.

“You’re not so scary,” Kara says in a low voice. “Not anymore.”  


The tight feeling in Alex’s chest that she hasn’t been aware of eases. When Kara pulls back to look her in the eye, she can breathe again.

“Good.”  



	51. Come What May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the three word prompt, Woodface asked for Kalex fluff: light, bacon & blue.

* * *

 

The light streaming through the windows makes Alex stir first. She groans, wishing she’d remembered to close the blinds the night before.

She doesn’t open her eyes initially, instead engaging in a slow stretch. It had been a long night at work in the lab running samples, and she doesn’t remember what time it had been when she’d finally stumbled in.

With a sigh, she rolls out of bed—knowing that despite her late night there’s always more work to be done. Her morning routine is set, and so she picks out some clothes before heading to the bathroom for her usual morning ablutions.

It’s as she’s stepping into the shower that she hears something that makes her freeze. She’s got a gun stashed under the sink, she could definitely reach it in time for—

Her thoughts are interrupted by light tapping in a distinct pattern. She chuckles and shakes her head. “Morning, Kara,” she says in a low voice as she steps into the shower.

*

Ten minutes later she’s toweling her hair dry and stepping into her kitchen. Kara’s perched up on one of the stools, her cheeks flushed and gaze averted.

Alex’s stomach flutters a little at the sight; the pinkened cheeks always make Kara’s eyes look so  _blue_ , not that Alex has never mentioned that. Kara might realize exactly why Alex enjoys teasing her so much.

“What are you doing here?” she asks as Kara remains silent.

Kara perks up, finally facing Alex. “Oh, um.” Kara nudges a brown paper bag forward. “Breakfast. Bacon, egg, and cheese on croissants.”

Alex tries not to drool. “You’re going to make me fat.”

“I doubt that.” Kara’s eyes dip briefly, only for her cheeks to flush harder. She bites her lower lip and glances away. “Um, so…”

Alex reaches for the bag, her stomach rumbling almost enthusiastically with the knowledge of the nearby food. The bag parts easily, and her mouth waters as the scents hit her full in the face. She selects a croissant and unwraps it.

“Yeah?” she asks before taking the first bite.

“You still okay with tonight? You… you haven’t ch-changed your mind, or anything?”

When Alex looks up, she sees that Kara is vigorously studying the counter top. She frowns. Normally Kara would be inhaling her own breakfast.

“No,” Alex says slowly. She reaches over with her free hand to cover one of Kara’s. “Why would I?”

Kara swallows but doesn’t speak.

Alex immediately puts her food down and rounds the counter. “Hey, what’s wrong? I’ve gone with you to a bunch of these things before.”

“Well, i-it’s like a, you know—that is to say it’s different. Than usual. You know. The theme is a little…”

It takes everything in Alex not to bite her cheek. She’d probably draw blood if she did because Kara’s blush is deeper than before, her eyelashes fluttering as she rapidly blinks.

Alex swallows. “Right, yeah. Leave it to your boss to fall in love and make the theme of the annual party all about the most romantic couples in the history of media.” As much as she enjoys Kara’s blushing, she knows that Kara gets overwhelmed if left to her own anxieties.

“How much you want to bet there’s going to be a whole section devoted to her and Genevieve?” Alex continues. She’s pleased when Kara snorts and then chuckles.

“Oh, definitely. Her new assistant called me in a panic, so I pretty much know all the exhibits.” Embarrassment forgotten, Kara looks directly at Alex. She’s smiling again, a small soft thing that lets Alex know she’s grateful for the relief.

Kara turns her hand under Alex’s. “This will be the first time we’ve gone to one of these as… us. For real.”

“Does that scare you?” Alex asks carefully.

“No. Yes. A little.” Kara gently squeezes her hand. “We’ve kind of just been existing in this little bubble and I don’t want that ruined.”

Alex shrugs, a playful smile tugging at her lips. “Kara, we’ve stopped an alien invasion together. Three, in fact. I’m sure we can handle anything that comes our way.”

Kara’s gaze becomes so intense that, for several long moments, Alex forgets how to breathe. It’s amazing, how comfortable and exciting it is to be around Kara. Confusing, too, if she’s being honest, but…

For once, Alex doesn’t feel a need to overanalyze why that is. She just wants to enjoy this. Them.

Aware that they both have things to do and places to be, Alex shifts closer to Kara and places a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“Come on, our breakfast is cold. We’ve got a lot to do before the party.”

Instead of returning to the other side of the kitchen bar, Alex settles on the stool next to Kara’s and reaches across for her croissant.

“I actually already had three.”

Alex’s croissant halts just millimeters from her mouth. “Oh, well that makes more sense.” She pauses. “I hate that you can’t get fat.”

Kara laughs and Alex doesn’t bother hiding her own grin, instead taking a bite of her breakfast.

She chews and swallows. “Does that mean the second croissant in the bag is for me?”

Kara bumps their shoulders together, smile still in place. “Oh, no, that’s definitely mine.”


	52. Home (with you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the three word prompt lesbxdyke asked for Kalex: Flying, Clouds, Dreams (fluff preferred~!)

* * *

Kara closes her eyes as the wind whips past her face, the clouds parting as she rises above them to revel in the light of the sun.

This high up the sounds of humanity are muffled, though constant. The air is thin and crisp, refreshing just as much as the light is.

For some moments she can pretend that everything is as it should be. With her eyes closed, Sol could very much be Rao, the warmth exactly the same as the red light she’d been born into.

She takes a breath and holds it, promising herself that once she lets it go she’ll let the daydream go, too.

*

When Kara wakes up, she’s still holding her breath. Her heart pounds rapidly in her chest as she stares up at the darkened ceiling. She’s careful to release the breath slowly, softly… the last thing she needs is to blow a hole through the roof.

“More dreams about home?” comes Alex’s low, sleep-roughened voice.

The phrasing makes Kara’s breathing stutter. She bites her lip, a small smile on her face as she turns to Alex. “Funny you should say that.”

Usually Kara’s dreams—the ones she can remember—are of random memories of Krypton from her childhood that nearly always end in destruction and death.

Kara stares at the shape of Alex in the dark, hair mussed and eyes drooping a little lower than normal. She reaches out to push a few strands back from Alex’s mouth. Her chest feels heavy and tight as she cups Alex’s cheek.

“Yes.”

Alex’s eyes grow more alert as Kara stares into them, seeming sharper and brighter as Alex reaches up to place her hand over Kara’s. “What?”

A litany of words form in Kara’s mind and begin to take coalesce on her tongue but, instead, she shakes her head.

Alex’s hand squeezes Kara’s once and then Alex is straightening and Kara’s hand falls and finds a spot on her blanket-covered thigh.

“Talk to me, Kara,” Alex pleads in a whisper.

Kara’s throat works as she swallows. “I didn’t dream of Krypton, not exactly.” She shakes her head and moves her hand so it’s resting on Alex’s hip. “I dreamt I was flying here on Earth, daydreaming of Krypton.”

A furrow appears between Alex’s eyebrows as she frowns.

“Alex, I think I’m finally…  _finally_  coming to terms with what happened.” She closes her eyes. “I’ll never forget where I came from, or all the people I left behind, but for the first time in forever I feel peace.”

There’s a long moment of silence, and then Alex is shifting on the bed.

Kara looks up as Alex cups her face with both hands.

Alex’s eyes are shimmering a little too much for the low light, but she smiles. “Good.” Her voice is thick with suppressed emotion, and Kara knows Alex is trying her best not to take away from the moment.

“The only reason I’m able to feel this way is because of you.” Kara pushes up from the bed slowly until her face is level with Alex’s. “Krypton will always be my home planet, but you’re my home, Alex.”

She’s entranced by the way Alex’s lips tremble, and can’t help but think of the first clumsy time she’d pressed her mouth to Alex’s. She’d felt at home with Alex long before that moment, but where she’d been getting by before, surviving, that very first kiss had made her aware that she was truly alive.

As Kara leans in to relive the memory, she smiles. Thankfully, she’s no longer a clumsy teenager—and Alex is no longer living in denial of their mutual feelings.

The kiss is slow and reverent, making what feels like every cell in Kara’s body tingle. Alex is smiling by the time the kiss ends.

“I hate that you don’t get morning breath,” Alex murmurs as she nudges Kara’s nose with her own.

Kara bites her lip and then bursts into laughter, only to laugh harder when she inadvertently bumps Alex’s head.

Alex scowls playfully, one hand rubbing her forehead. “Yeah, yeah, yuck it up  _Supergirl_. How is it your head is still so hard even with your powers mostly neutralized?” The last is said in an affectionate mumble as Alex peers around for the discrete low-red-light emitters lining the wall.

Kara grins. “I have a hard head? It took you  _twelve_  years to kiss me back.”

“Hey! I–no! That’s a different kind of… ugh.”

“Agent Danvers, are you blushing?”

“ _Kara_ …”


	53. Victory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self harm warning, references to unhealthy coping mechanisms, as well as angst.
> 
> ifourmindbeso asked for "Something angsty about the recent Kalex interactions? Alex asking Kara if she's better and Kara getting mad. Possible smangst?"
> 
> I still have only watched s1, so I did my best to create something vaguely similar based on a few gifs and my own vision.

* * *

When Alex wakes, the first thing she realizes is that she isn’t alone in bed. She winces and brings a hand to her mouth, the throbbing pain telling her of the injury before her fingers make contact.

Confusion hits briefly, only to be swept away by memories of the night before.

She shifts under the covers and sucks in a breath at the feel of the fabric dragging over sensitive skin. No, she isn’t alone.

She continues holding the breath as she slowly turns her head.

There’s no mistaking Kara’s face still relaxed in sleep, nor the adorably mussed blonde hair. The bare shoulders peeking from under the covers make her freeze.

Alex’s heart begins to pound loudly in her ears. She does her best to quiet the sound, desperately hoping it won’t wake Kara. She’s not ready for that, not yet.

Small aches come to her attention when she shifts again, as well as a patch of skin on her neck that fiercely stings.

She clenches her hands under the covers.

What have they done? What has _she_ done?

***

_**Yesterday** _

“This will be good for you,” Kara insists quietly as they climb the stairs up to their old room.

Alex grips her bag tighter. She doesn’t look at Kara. “We should have called first.”

“I _did_ call.”

Kara’s words do little to comfort Alex. The trip hadn't sounded like a bad idea, and the drive had even been something like fun. 

That was before they'd reached the house, though, before Mom had spared her a quick kiss and hug with her own bag in hand on the way out of town for a work conference.

Alex had been okay with a trip to Midvale before she'd known she'd be alone with Kara. The lump that's been settled in her throat since her split with Maggie feels like it's sunk down to the pit of her stomach to take up permanent residence.

Being alone with Kara at their old house in Midvale is the last thing Alex needs right now. It’s too late to change her mind; to do so would raise too many questions Alex is better off not answering.

She remains quiet as Kara leads the way, settling her bag near her old bed out of habit.

“Your mom has hardly changed anything.”

Alex can hear the smile in Kara’s voice, a low tone of warm happiness that Alex should be glad to hear after the weeks of Kara’s own moping—but she can’t feel glad. Not here, not now.

Their furniture is exactly as she remembers it, a few old posters still in place despite the spree she'd gone on one summer break from college. 

That had been the summer she'd finally made sense of all the jumbled, confusing things she'd been feeling, and the summer she'd finally realized the benefits of alcohol.

She makes a noncommittal sound in her throat.

“Why don’t we go exploring?”

A smile tugs at Alex’s lips despite herself. Kara’s voice is lower and deeper now, but Alex can remember the many times Kara had posed the same question in the same hopeful way when they were teenagers.

She smooths her hand over the comforter before facing Kara. “Sure.”

Kara, who’s settled cross-legged on her own bed, immediately bounces up. “Great! Come on.”

Alex chuckles under her breath as Kara grabs her hand and unceremoniously drags her toward the stairs. “I guess some things never change.”

The words make Kara shoot a grin back over her shoulder, her blue eyes seeming to dance with delight. “Yeah.”

Alex’s stomach twists. She nearly lets go of Kara’s hand, only for Kara to grip hers minutely tighter.

“Uh-uh, Alex. No getting out of this now.”

A humorless snort escapes Alex. “As if I ever really had a choice.”

Kara’s smile is softer and enigmatic now. “Of course you did, Alex.”

It takes a moment for Alex to find her voice. “Let's just go.”

*

They explore the woods close to the house for hours, reminiscing about Kara’s first precarious years on Earth as the sun dips in the sky.

“I still can't believe people take these for granted here,” Kara murmurs as she peers up at a tall oak tree. “But then again we took everything for granted on Krypton, or I wouldn't be here.”

The thin barrier of nostalgia that’s been keeping both of them from slipping back into their own respective dark moods threatens to give—Kara’s close to thinking about things she shouldn’t, about _him_.

Acid churns in Alex’s stomach. Before, she’d tried to make Kara feel better. Oh, how she’d wanted to make Kara feel better…

Just like that, the nostalgia shifts and warps into something she’s long understood should be forgotten. The cool air of the forest becomes thick and cloying, threatening to choke her with jealousy, shame, and regret that feels like is seeping from her pores. A shiver ripples down her spine.

“It’s getting late,” she mumbles as she turns on her heel. Kara doesn’t seem to notice, and Alex grits her teeth as she hastily follows the path back to the house in the dark.

Her mind is full of too many thoughts, and she frantically tries to remember if she’d packed that bottle of whisky or not.

She hadn’t. Kara had been in the apartment, the old accusation of Alex’s oft-times unhealthy relationship with alcohol hanging in the air.

Alex knows it shouldn’t bother her. She’s not an alcoholic, doesn’t jones for a drink so fiercely that it feels like a need.

But, _fuck_ , all she wants to do is forget. Just for a little while. She needs something resembling peace, dammit.

By the time she reaches the house, she’s settled on raiding her mom’s liquor cabinet. Mom won’t mind, especially if she replaces whatever she drinks.

Her stomach rumbles but she doesn’t care. It’ll be easier to forget on empty stomach. The bottle of scotch is already in the hand by the time the door creaks open again.

“I got—Rao, are you _serious_ , Alex? I left you alone for what, five minutes, and you’re already at it?”

Alex grimaces at the harsh tone, her grip on the bottle becoming dangerously tight. She should take a breath, calm down.

She makes the mistake of looking up at Kara. “Five minutes? You were off in your own little world for the last half hour anyway. You might like wallowing, but I’d just rather forget.”

The stack of food cartons in Kara’s hands—Indonesian, if Alex’s nose isn’t mistaken—are summarily deposited onto an end table. “Oh, yeah, because that always works out _so_ well. Look, you’ve got to process this or you’re never going to feel better.”

The gamut of negative feelings that have been twisting in Alex all day become something else under the heat of Kara’s anger. “Right, because that’s done wonders for you! You’re doing great these days, aren’t you Kara? Or maybe I should just call you Supergirl, right? Since Kara Danvers is a mistake and all.”

“Alex—”

“No, no, Supergirl. In fact, what are you even doing here? Shouldn’t you be off anywhere but with part of that giant, gaping mistake of a life?” Alex’s hand curls around the cool, inviting bottle of scotch. The lid twists easily under her grip.

“That’s enough.” Kara’s voice is laden with warning, her eyes hard as she stares at Alex.

Alex curls her lip as she pours the scotch into a glass. “I decide when it’s enough.”

Just as she brings the glass to her lips, there’s a blip of motion on her peripheral vision. An arm is suddenly around her waist, and Kara’s other hand is somehow gripped over hers on the glass of scotch.

“Just put this down, Alex. You’re not yourself right now and this’ll only make it worse.”

“Let _go_ ,” Alex all but snarls as she glares straight at Kara.

Kara is unflinching in the light of her rage. “No.”

Alex grinds her teeth and begins to struggle, heedless of Kara’s intractable grip.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” A frown grows on Kara’s face. “Alex, stop. You’re going to _hurt_ yourself.”

There’s an edge of panic to her voice. Alex ignores it, intent on fighting despite knowing she can’t win.

She’s never been able to win where Kara’s concerned. She growls low in her throat as she renews her efforts, simultaneously pushing back against Kara’s arm and trying to pull her hand free.

Kara’s eyes are wide now, her attention flicking from their hands to Alex’s face and back again.

Alex knows that look, knows Kara is thinking of all the times she’s accidentally hurt Alex. Ordinarily it would be enough to make Alex stop, to think things over and cool down, but in this moment ordinary doesn’t exist for Alex.

Oh, how she’s tired of _losing_.

Perhaps Kara sees something in her eyes because, in the next moment when Alex begins to twitch and jerk and fight even harder, Kara moves with her.

The scotch splashes everywhere, and scarcely a half second later the glass itself flies from their mutual grasp. The sound of it shattering is distant and disregarded.

Alex is frustrated as Kara moves with her, trying to mitigate the damage Alex is doing to herself as she stubbornly tries to win, just this once—whatever that means. The slight bruises that might have formed before are avoided; Kara is both too strong and too fast.

By the time Alex’s frustration culminates, she’s all but wrapped tightly to Kara. She wants to scream. Hasn’t this gone on long enough? She only ever loses and loses, not just Maggie, but everything that Maggie represents.

As long as Kara is in her life, she’ll never be able to have anything like that.

Her eyes sting and her chest heaves. Almost completely immobilized, she’s forced to take shallow breaths.

“Alex, please,” Kara murmurs with glistening eyes. “You’re hurting yourself.”

 _Not enough_ , Alex thinks. _Not nearly enough_.

She does the only thing she thinks will make herself feel worse.

The kiss can hardly be called that, the fierce, bruising pressure that gives way to the tangy iron of blood.

Kara jerks against her, unwittingly making the taste of blood stronger. “Alex,” she gasps.

Alex shakes her head minutely, pulling her head away to thump it hard against Kar’s neck and shoulder.

Something changes then, as if Kara’s body itself is no longer trying to restrain her but rather... 

She registers the moisture on her face—maybe Kara’s, maybe her own—before the delicate pressure against her neck and cheek.

“Please,” Kara whispers, “don’t hurt yourself like this.”

The pressure comes again. And again.

Alex trembles when she realizes the soft pressure is coming from Kara’s lips, which are being pressed carefully to her skin, over and over.

When she turns her head and catches Kara’s lips on the corner of her mouth, it is the singularly most divine, devastating thing she’s ever experienced.

She isn’t sure who kisses whom after that, only that they become deeper and kindle something Alex has never felt before.

“Kara,” is all she can say before she’s entirely robbed of the ability to speak.

***

_**Now** _

There’s a quivering in Alex’s stomach when she looks at Kara. They hadn’t said much last night.

Alex wishes she could say they were drunk, that she’d been drunk.

How could she possibly explain why she’d done this? The truth is impossible; Kara doesn’t know the real reason Alex has been so crushed by Maggie’s departure.

It had been her fault. Even as she’d daydreamed of children, it hadn’t been Maggie that she’d envisioned at her side. During the wedding preparations, it had been Kara that Alex had pictured walking down the aisle. 

Besides Kara, Maggie is the only person Alex has felt anything even remotely romantic for—and Alex still hadn’t been able to imagine a true, full future with her.

What had she been thinking, letting things go this far?

Next to her, Kara slightly changes positions.

She can guess why Kara has done this, can remember the look on Kara’s face as she anointed Alex’s skin with kiss after kiss.

Alex doesn’t know how to tell Kara that the kisses meant to take the pain away have only made her feel it all the more keenly.

She aches for what she’s made Kara do, as much as she aches for Kara to do it again.

She really is the worst part of Kara’s life, isn’t she? And, yet, Alex couldn’t leave Kara’s side if her life depended on it.

Is this what winning feels like? She doubts it.

Alex squeezes her eyes shut to stem the flow of tears, sliding over onto her back so she won’t have to face Kara. Her chest shakes in a failed attempt to stifle a sob.

“Alex?” comes the sleepy murmur.

Warm fingertips brush Alex’s shoulder. Her head turns of its own volition.

Kara’s eyes are half-lidded from sleep, her blinks slow as she begins to fully wake.

Alex’s heart thuds loudly in her chest as she watches the realization creep over Kara’s face.

“Alex?”


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two double drabbles that, together, serve as a prequel story for [this other double drabble](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5403833/chapters/27308127).
> 
> (Drabbles are short works meant to be exactly 100 words. A double is 200 words.)

* * *

Alex stews as she watches Kara dance; the guy with Kara looks like an utter neanderthal.

Her stomach churns when his hands dip dangerously low down Kara’s back.

Alex’s first instinct is to plow through the crowded dance floor and rip his arm off.

Instead, she shoves her way to the nearest door. Coming to Lucy’s party had been a stupid idea.

“But of course, it’s what Kara wanted.” Alex tucks her hands into her pockets, hunching her shoulders against the cool night air.

“You’ve got it bad.”

Alex jerks her head to the side.

Lucy, in her usual ripped jeans and t-shirt, is curled up on a patio chair. She shifts her legs as she brings her half-finished cigarette to her lips.

It takes a moment for Alex’s voice to work. “What?”

“You heard me, Danvers,” Lucy murmurs in a cloud of smoke.

“I… I don’t…” Alex swallows.

Lucy smirks. “Yeah, you do.”

Alex dreaded this moment of someone finally discovering her true feelings. She grits her teeth and straightens her shoulders. “So what?”

Lucy quirks an eyebrow. “Now’s your chance. Say it out loud.”

Alex’s stomach lurches. She takes in a slow breath. “I’m in love with Kara.”

*

Lucy smirks.

“What?” Alex frowns.

“You _actually_ said it out loud.” Lucy pauses and then stands. “Now, go say that to Kara.”

“Are you _insane_? Right now Kara’s in there grinding on some dumbass jock who—”

To her surprise, Lucy grins and steps closer. “Let’s try something.”

Alex frowns. “What?”

Lucy drops her cigarette, and then her hands are combing through Alex’s hair. Before Alex can react, a single messy kiss is pressed to her mouth.

Shocked, Alex shoves her away. “What the hell, Lucy?”

Lucy shrugs. “Time to get back to the party.”

Unsettled, Alex follows Lucy back inside. She deserves an answer.

She’s so focused on Lucy that she doesn’t see Kara, only a few steps from the door.

Alex freezes the moment she sees her. “Kara.”

Kara doesn’t respond. Instead, her eyes flick to a smirking Lucy and then back to Alex.

In a flurry of action, Kara grabs Alex's hand and drags her back outside.

Alex’s heart pounds. “Kara—”

She doesn’t get to finish the thought.

Kara’s eyes are dark and intense, only to flutter closed as she dips her head to Alex’s.

“Mine,” she whispers right before she sucks Alex’s lower lip into her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First double drabble was requested by joyfultemplar with the theme of "catharsis".
> 
> Second was requested by eloquentdrivil with the theme of "voracious".


	55. Project Danvers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alexdnvers from tumblr was kind enough to send me a bunch of cute requested prompts, so I decided to mash up two.
> 
> Modern, non-powered AU.

* * *

The entryway to the building is calm at this time of the morning, the pearled marble floor still pristine from the cleaning service’s nightly duties. Kara adjusts her cardigan as she pushes through the front doors, the skirt of her favorite sundress flaring a little a the hem as a gust of wind pushes past. She likes coming in before the rush.

Kara fidgets with the lanyard holding her security badge as she approaches the front desk. The woman behind it is sharply dressed in pressed black slacks and a matching blazer, her expression neutral as she scans the security monitors.

Jeff, the normal security specialist who works mornings, is out for a few weeks with a broken leg. His temporary replacement isn’t as warm or forthcoming, and Kara has had no luck in establishing a rapport with the striking woman.

“Good morning,” Kara says in a rush as she draws closer.

The woman—Danvers is all her name tag says—only offers Kara a brief glance and a minute inclination of her head.

After four days of failures, Kara should expect it. Her shoulders slump a little as she bends to pass her security badge over the scanner. Maybe she should try bringing something. Well, not coffee. Kara had tried that the first day, only for Danvers to politely say she doesn’t drink coffee.

The admission had been the most personal thing Kara had been able to glean in four days. It’s _terrible_ ; she never has problems getting to know people. Plus, who would say no to coffee at 5:30 in the morning? Security specialist Danvers, apparently.

It’s inhuman, especially with how immaculate the auburn-haired woman appears every day.

Caught up in her thoughts, Kara leans over a little too much. Her favorite fountain pen slips from its precarious position loosely clipped to the side of her purse.

She notices it falling a second too late, and jerks her hands toward it out of reflex.

In a masterful(?) display of one-handed-juggling, she manages to keep it from dropping to the unforgiving marble. Unfortunately, her third attempt at a grip goes awry and launches the bright blue pen straight at Aloof Danvers.

It happens so quickly that Kara only has half a second to be horrified before the pen makes impact.

Danvers catches the pen before it can fall to the desk, a bright red mark on her right cheek. “Ms. Zorel,” she says in a voice betraying a waning patience, “I believe this is yours.” She extends the pen back toward Kara.

Kara presses both hands over her mouth, her face flushed. “I am _so_ sorry! I didn’t mean to—it was an accident, I-I, oh my goodness. So sorry!”

The pen remains steadily held aloft.

“Please let m-me buy you lunch or something to make up for th-this.” Kara’s hand shakes as she reaches out to accept the pen. It’s just like high school all over again, her hard-earned confidence evaporating in the face of her clumsiness.

A second hand comes up as Kara’s hesitates in taking the pen, and Kara’s cheeks flush for a different reason as warm fingertips brush the back of her hand, gently twisting it so the pen can be deposited to her palm.

When Kara looks up, Aloof Danvers doesn’t seem quite so aloof. Her expression has changed, the stern lines around her mouth and eyebrows now softened to something almost… amicable. “It’s alright, Ms. Danvers. It was clearly an accident.”

Kara pulls back the hand holding the pen self consciously, almost dislodging her glasses with the pen as she reaches up to tuck some hair behind her ear. She chuckles nervously. Who knew hazel eyes could look so kind?

She bites her lower lip. “Please,” she says more slowly now, “let me make this up to you some way.”

At first, the other woman doesn’t seem to react.

“Alright,” Danvers says just as slowly, “I guess we could try the coffee again.”

Kara frowns and puts her pen back in her purse. “I thought you said you didn’t drink coffee?”

Danvers smiles, making a shock of warmth spark in Kara’s chest. “I did say that, yes. In my line of work I’m not in the habit of accepting beverages I haven’t ordered from people I don’t know.”

The smile makes the admission easier for Kara to accept, though her cheeks do heat up again. “Oh, duh, yeah. That makes sense.” She rolls her lips together, nervously sensing an opportunity. “Kara Zorel,” she says as she extends a hand.

“Alex Danvers,” comes the immediate response as the handshake is accepted. The small, distracting smile on Alex's lips seems permanent. “You’re good with people. Maybe I should try and steal you away from here.”

Kara can only blink. Her reaction garners a laugh from Alex, the low sound making goosebumps prickle her skin.

“I own the security firm that manages this building, and several others. I didn’t have the extra manpower to cover for Jeff, so I opted to fill in for the time being,” Alex explains.

In a slight daze from the abrupt change in Alex compared to the last few days, Kara speaks without thinking. “Being stolen doesn’t sound so bad.”

Her eyes widen once she realizes what she’s said. That smile should be _illegal_ , darn it!

Something changes in Alex’s expression then, her eyes studying Kara’s eternally blushing face. “Maybe I won’t try to hire you. What was it you first said? Lunch. Yeah, let’s… we can do that.”

Kara’s heart pounds erratically. She hopes she isn’t misinterpreting the situation because—

Alex delicately clears her throat. “Kara, you’ve been here nearly fifteen minutes and I don’t want you to be late. Call down when you’re ready for your lunch break, okay?”

Kara internally shakes herself, not wanting to leave the unspoken question unanswered. “Right, yeah, that sounds g-great.”

 _Oh, no_ , Kara thinks when Alex’s smile reappears, even wider than before.

She stumbles her way to the bank of elevators. It isn’t until she reaches the fifteenth floor that her mind finally finishes processing her exchange with Alex.

She’s got a lunch date with the super attractive security guard.

Maybe her clumsiness isn’t so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompts tweaked and meshed: [here](https://78.media.tumblr.com/4b513d0bf92e53b5d29cd9de649d7e44/tumblr_inline_p5hafi5bG41tn74v9_540.png) and [ here](https://78.media.tumblr.com/09d7c80e71611b244f1ce19497dc79d5/tumblr_inline_p5hag9VAko1tn74v9_540.png).


End file.
